The brother-in-law drove a Bentley to a KTV and directly named a girl to accompany her. The girl asked for 100 tips, and the brother-in-law directly gave 1000, so the brother-in-law continued for a week

The brother-in-law drove a Bentley to a KTV and directly named a girl to accompany her. The girl asked for 100 tips, and the brother-in-law directly gave 1000, so for a week the brother-in-law designated this girl. A week passed, and the girl asked, "Brother, where are you the boss, so generous?" Brother-in-law: "I'm not the boss, I just collect rent in Shanghai!" Sister: "I didn't expect that we were still fellow countrymen!" So why did you come and visit 1 state? Brother-in-law: "I came to relax, by the way, your mother is my tenant, and let me carry 10,000 yuan for you!"

2. Ex-girlfriend got married, me and my colleagues both went, don't feel strange, because the ex-girlfriend is also my ex-colleague. I told my colleagues not to tell her that I was now the vice president. Then when I went, I deliberately didn't wear new clothes, I was still wearing overalls, and someone wondered, I lit a cigarette, took a deep breath, and said in a deep voice: "I have to make her mistakenly think that she left me 2 years ago." "Colleagues gave me a thumbs up. I said it's okay, man, sometimes you have to be generous. At the time of the wedding, the emcee said that the groom had prepared a diamond necklace worth tens of millions of dollars for the bride. A female colleague said: "Brother, you don't have to pretend not to be able to, compared with the current, your ex is really not good....The choice of others is correct..."I glanced at her and decided to chase her.

3. The cousin found a girlfriend, and the family practiced to open a taoist hall. Her cousin was obedient to her at home. Last night the two went shopping, and the cousin quarreled with the cousin because of the trivial matter, and she had to reach out and beat him. The cousin couldn't stand it in public, so he directly knocked his sister-in-law down and rode on her. Then the cousin immediately got up and shouted to the crowd of onlookers: "Everyone flash away, I have to run, or this lady will have to beat me to death!" ”

4. My wife's girlfriend is a single dog who often comes to my house to disturb our two-person world. After eating at my house on this day, my wife proposed to fight the landlord together for 10 yuan a hand. Not long after playing, I won more than 500, and my wife and girlfriend lost the most. I was feeling proud of it, and my wife's girlfriend suddenly shouted to my wife: Your husband just rubbed my thigh with his foot! Looking at the dangerous light in my wife's eyes, I felt that today might be over.

5. It's Valentine's Day again, and I'm about to turn thirty, and I still don't have a girlfriend. Today, through my aunt's introduction, I went to my aunt's house early in the morning for a blind date. I saw that the girl was pretty, and then the family went out for a while and let's talk alone. After the others left, the girl said to me: I have a boyfriend, the family forced no way to come, wait a moment you will say you don't want to. After listening to it, I understood in my heart that I was also an adult beauty. When both families came back, I said: I didn't like it. As soon as the words stopped, my mother's mouth twitched, and I was confused. Hey, good people can't be.

6. The brothers are all mosquitoes, and I can't be the one who doesn't fit in. Today, when I found the mosquito master, I said domineeringly: Tattoo me a fine loyalty to the country. The master said: You will take anesthetics to sleep first, and when you wake up, you will get a tattoo. I slept a little, woke up to find that the master was still tattooed, I asked: Why haven't I tattooed yet? The master said: Soon, tattooed to the hall of China is going to let the four parties come to congratulate.

7. Recently opened a new Internet café at the entrance of our unit, and paid a salary and rushed to open an all-nighter. Suddenly there was a beautiful woman next to me, and she landed on pubg! I wanted to learn from someone quickly, and I waited to see her wonderful performance. Who knew that she actually watched "Youth with You", I also watched it for half a day, and then I couldn't help but ask her: Beauty, come to the Internet café to watch this kind of variety show, is it too luxurious? The beauty bowed her head and said: You are too handsome, I originally wanted to look at it and pubg, but you kept staring at the screen, I thought you liked to watch, so I couldn't bear to interrupt you!

8. Since beating the boss's son in the company, the boss always let me go to the field for business trips, ten days and half a month at a time. When I went to catch the plane in the morning, the staff was stunned not to let me into the airport, saying that I did not match my ID card. I replied: Yes, I admit that I have done plastic surgery, but it has not changed much! As a result, the staff said: you are not plastic surgery, you are transgender! I was confused, took the ID card and looked at it: I'm god, it's my wife's! "

9. My mother called: There is an emergency at home, come back soon. I hurried home in a hurry, but I saw a hot conversation between my mother and a beautiful woman dressed in good clothes and light makeup. My mother pulled me aside: This girl looks beautiful and has a good brain, just now I asked if she has a boyfriend, what do you think? Cough, mother, this girl is quite good, but people are selling insurance, not themselves, you think too much about it.

10. Married people know that there are more trifles in the family. When I came home from work to calculate my expenses, my wife sat across from me again and nagged. One moment said that this month's electricity bill is more, the next moment said that this month's water bill is excessive, and the next moment said that the whole family must save all kinds of costs. Finally finished nagging, did not forget to push me, reminded: I heard no, I just said so much. My wife pushed hard, and I pressed the wrong calculator key at once, only to hear a voice say: Equal to zero. The angry wife glared at me, and the son who was doing his homework on the side had already smiled and bent over.

11. The company arranged me and a female colleague to travel on business, on the way her husband kept calling me, I did not answer once. When I got to the hotel, he called me again, and I had no choice but to connect. He said, "Brother, I know you're on a business trip with my daughter-in-law, and I tell you that my daughter-in-law sleeps and snores and grinds her teeth. I said, "Brother, don't worry, it's all right!" Her husband said, "You, I am assured, I am not at ease with my daughter-in-law." The next day, I called my eldest brother back and said, "Brother, my sister-in-law doesn't grind her teeth or talk about dreams. "One sentence annoyed him, saying that he would go back and beat me." I wondered, isn't the communication very good, how can you suddenly hit someone, do you say he is sick?