I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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We often hear about the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and rarely hear any direct contradiction between daughter-in-law and father-in-law.
The reason is very simple, not because the daughter-in-law and the father-in-law get along well, but the daughter-in-law and the father-in-law often do not get along directly, in many families, the father-in-law and the daughter-in-law do not even talk much.
However, there are also some individual families, there is no contradiction between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, but there are many contradictions with the father-in-law.
The father-in-law monitored the life of the husband and wife in an all-round way, and provoked the daughter-in-law
After watching such a case of mediation by ordinary people, the daughter-in-law returned to her mother's house after a year of marriage, saying that she was unwilling to go back to live, which was a request and wanted a divorce.
An application for mediation initiated by the man.
The daughter-in-law said that since she returned to her mother's house, her father-in-law often went to her home to make trouble, and said that she would stay outside her home, not only that, but also often went to her company to make trouble, banging gongs and drums, destroying her reputation.
Her father-in-law also often sent her abusive text messages, not only harassing her, but also harassing her family.
The father-in-law said that when his son first got married, he gave a dowry of 200,000 yuan, and he did not want the dowry to drift, and now the son has been married for two years, and the daughter-in-law has a year of living in the mother's house, the son's marriage exists in name only, and the daughter-in-law is cheating marriage.
The two sides quarreled until they were inseparable, and the father-in-law completely annoyed the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law insisted on divorce.
After a year of marriage, why did you return to your mother's house?
There is a reason for everything, the little couple is married for a year, and the daughter-in-law runs back to the mother's house, of course, there is a reason.
The daughter-in-law said that the two people said something, the next day can reach the father-in-law's ears, sometimes the two people because of the quarrel to live separately, she slept in the living room, the next day the father-in-law had to ask her why she did not live with his son.
This made her feel very embarrassed, very embarrassed, and felt that she was being watched by an old husband.
In the big and small things between her and her husband, her father-in-law must all intervene.
Once she told her husband that she planned to buy a house on the edge of the city, for the sake of future children, to provide a slightly better growth environment for her children.
As a result, the next day, the matter reached the ears of the father-in-law, who scolded the daughter-in-law for not knowing what to do.
As for the daughter-in-law's statement, the father-in-law also has his own defense, he said that the reason why he knows that the daughter-in-law and his son sleep separately is because he heard them quarrel and came out to see the daughter-in-law sleeping on the sofa, as for buying a house, he wants to buy a demolition house for his son in full, so that the son has no pressure.
However, the father-in-law's response just proved that the daughter-in-law was telling the truth.
The daughter-in-law said that no matter what happened between herself and her husband, it could immediately reach her father-in-law's ears, and the father-in-law patted his chest and said, "I am my son's father, and I have the right to represent everything about him!" ”
When the mediator asked the young man if he would tell his father about anything, he flashed his words, saying that his father had guessed it himself.
The old man is probably not so windy, everything can be heard, and what the truth is, guess can also guess.
Even at the scene, the son was also looking at Lao Tzu when he spoke, afraid of saying something wrong.
The wife felt hopeless about her husband's weakness and incompetence, felt that there was no hope in life, and said that she did not want to continue to live with him.
Why does the father-in-law spy on his daughter-in-law?
And for what he does, the father-in-law has his own reasons.
He said that he spent 200,000 dowry to marry his son and daughter-in-law, that is, he wanted to hold his grandson quickly, and as a result, his daughter-in-law always did not move, and it was inevitable that he would be anxious, so he would monitor his daughter-in-law in this way.
In the face of this statement of the father-in-law, the daughter-in-law also said that she believes that it is normal to be pregnant for a year of marriage, and if it is really because of physical problems, it should be two people to check the body together.
As an old man, she must understand dignity and decency, and these behaviors of her father-in-law make her face embarrassed.
In the end, the father-in-law and son said that they recognized the mistake and would correct it in the future.
But the daughter-in-law still insisted on divorce, on the grounds that the son was all father-centered, completely unable to be independent, things happened, he also sided with the father-in-law, never considered her feelings, she has been completely disappointed in her husband.
It has reached this point where the man can only respect the woman's decision.
If you really love your child, let your child be independent
Believe that no woman can accept a man who has not grown up.
After a man has a family, he must have the appearance of a male master, responsible for his own affairs, responsible for his own family, and responsible for his wife and children.
If a man relies on his parents for everything, even small things between husband and wife must be reported to his parents, it is not a man, this kind of style is the style of a kindergarten boy, indicating that this person is extremely immature, and may never have the opportunity to mature.
Parents must not feel that spending money to marry a daughter-in-law, they must monitor the daughter-in-law in an all-round way, and many times the more they want to, the more they cannot achieve the goal.
Just like this father-in-law, because of his series of strange behaviors, he forced his daughter-in-law away.
If you think that the bride price is too much, you can propose not to give the bride price, if you follow the local customs and give a high bride price, don't always feel that the daughter-in-law is bought, what should be done.
If you can't give the other party even the slightest respect, aren't you forcing the other party to resist?
Before the son becomes a family, he must first let the son be independent, if a man can't do the least independence, then don't spend the wrong money, because after marriage, there will be no good results.
Raising a son is not to prepare everything for the son, but to do his best to give the child more opportunities to exercise, so that the child can become independent early, so that the child can support his own piece of the sky in the future.