He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
In the first year of your marriage, do you have any local gift-giving customs?
This is the story that happened to a male reader.
Male readers are in a small city in the north, the place is not large, but there are many customs.
In particular, the matter of marriage is very cumbersome, and he took almost 1 month of marriage leave before and after to successfully complete all the things of marriage.
And in the upcoming Spring Festival, he has already smoked a weekend and sent the first Boxing Gift after marriage.
The local custom for male readers is as follows:
For young couples who have just married, boys should buy a lot of gifts on the first big holiday after marriage and sit at the homes of all the relatives of their wives and mothers.
There are many relatives in the girl's hometown, many parents and brothers and sisters, grandparents, grandparents are alive.
Therefore, there are too many relatives to go to in this first year.
And, there is a local saying:
Newlyweds, aunts and grandfathers for the first time to give gifts, tobacco, alcohol, sugar tea, snacks and fruits, poultry and fish meat can not be less.
Therefore, the cost of gifts for male readers in the first year is as high as 40,000 yuan.
What is this concept?
The money he can save all year round is nothing more than that.
After a whole year of hard work, on the eve of the Spring Festival, there is no penny left for a gift.
The male reader is not complaining, but just confiding in the great pressure he is under as a young man who has just joined the work and has just gotten married.
Why are more and more young people reluctant to get married?
Cumbersome customs and heavy financial expenses are the reasons for this.
Cumbersome weddings, especially those who marry in their hometowns, need to go through various customs and visit relatives and friends.
An office worker gets married, and it is difficult to complete without a month.
The experience of the male reader reminds me of another boy.
The boy had also just gotten married not long ago, and the custom in his hometown was:
After getting married, I want to give gifts to my wife's mother's family for two big holidays in a row.
One is the Mid-Autumn Festival and the other is the Spring Festival.
The gifts of the two festivals add up, which is also a big expense.
This custom can be understood from another perspective:
There is the first person to take the lead, they have a daughter married in the family, and the man also bought gifts to come to your house;
Now that you are married, it is equivalent to returning the favor to the lover's family.
But for young people, sending a boxing gift costs tens of thousands of dollars, and the pressure is indeed not small.
I saw a set of data on the Internet: Chinese netizens gave gifts on holidays.
The top few are: Spring Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, Valentine's Day.
It can be seen that the Spring Festival is the biggest expense for people to give gifts.
Chinese has always paid attention to human feelings, after all, many people are busy working outside all year round and rarely return home.
And it is not easy to take a holiday during the Spring Festival, so I can walk around.
Relatives and friends, the elders of both sides after marriage, these have to buy some gifts and drinks to sit down.
However, the matter of gift-giving should be based on its own economic foundation.
If you're not financially fit to support such a high gift, it's simpler.
After all, when giving gifts between relatives and friends, it is important to move around feelings, not the value of gifts.
Back to the "gift giving in the first year of marriage".
In my hometown, there are similar customs.
In the first year of marriage, in order to express his gratitude, the man married such a virtuous and sensible wife, so he had to buy gifts to sit with relatives on the side of his wife's mother's house.
However, the gift is not so heavy, and the family spends about 1,000 yuan.
But everything should come and go.
The most important thing is to be able to level a bowl of water between husband and wife.
What is the attitude of men to their fathers-in-law and mother-in-law, and the attitude of girls to their in-laws cannot be bad.
Only when a bowl of water is flat can the feelings of two people be stable and there will be no contradictions.
However, if every time you give a Gift, you often have to spend tens of thousands of dollars, which is a great pressure for young people.
You can't do something you can't afford for the sake of so-called face.
After all, a lot of times face is given by money.
Today's Topic:
In your hometown, do newlyweds have to give gifts in their first year?
(Article with picture source network)