Now most young parents are dual workers, which also leads to "who to bring the baby" has become a big problem, this responsibility naturally falls to the in-laws, but not all in-laws are willing to help with the baby, because they also have their own lives, plus the current in-laws are tending to be younger, only forty or fifty years old, life may be richer than young people, naturally unwilling to tie children to their side.
"I am not obliged to take the baby, you have the responsibility to retire", the mother-in-law was punched in the face after ten years of righteousness
Some time ago and a friend chatted, when talking about her mother-in-law's question, she directly answered to send the old man to the nursing home, but also rarely to visit, really did not have this time, at first I could not understand, after all, no matter how to say that it is their mother-in-law, the child's grandmother, how can it be so stiff, the ugly point is not filial piety, but after listening to what she said later, I can understand.
Friends said that more than ten years ago she and her husband did business to the foundation, the family debt hundreds of thousands, husband and wife in order to repay the debt have worked two or three jobs, every day early and greedy, at that time the two children in the family were only three or four years old, in order to make more money, can only ask the mother-in-law to help with the baby, but the mother-in-law is not happy, because she wants to help the little son with the baby, she has always preferred the younger son, and the mother-in-law also said with a straight face, "I am not obliged to take the baby, but you have the responsibility to retire, who let me give birth to you to raise you." ”
Later, the couple could only let the child's grandmother help with the baby, so they stayed up for ten years, and the living conditions at home slowly improved, and the children grew up. At this time, the mother-in-law's health has become worse, when she asked for the two children to retire, the younger son has been spoiled, so he has not been doing the right thing, and he is not concerned about the elderly, and the eldest son directly chooses to send the old man to the nursing home, the old man feels extremely regretful, he already knows that he was treated equally, and now this situation is also self-inflicted.
Should the elderly help with the baby?
On this question, in fact, everyone's answer is different, some people say yes, some people think it should not. Personally, I think it is still necessary to consider it from several aspects. First of all, if the old man lives with his son, and the son and daughter-in-law go out to work, and the old man's physical condition allows, then it is still necessary to help with the baby.
Because everyone in the family is a member, it means taking on some responsibilities and helping to reduce the pressure on the son, otherwise if you hire a nanny at home, or send your child to a care center, it is a big expense, and the life of the family will become more tight, and there is no benefit to the elderly.
Secondly, we must also look at how the son and daughter-in-law are, if they are not good, and they are not filial to the old people, then do not help with the baby, because in the end it will only be an empty, and even their own help may be criticized, to put it bluntly, it is a thankless thing. But if the son and daughter-in-law are very filial piety, then now the old man helps to bring the baby, and in the old age, the children will be more filial to the old man and know how to thank the old man for his original efforts.
Finally, you can also see if the son's economic conditions are good or not, if the son is more rich, then you can let the son hire a nanny, so that the old man can also properly help take care of the child, but it is not so tired, killing two birds with one stone. But if the son's economic conditions are poor, then there is no need to hire a nanny, and the old man himself can help with the baby.
Please help the elderly with the baby, what problems should you pay attention to?
Young parents and the elderly have different concepts of baby-bearing, and many family conflicts are disputes caused by different opinions on raising children. Therefore, if you really want to ask the elderly to help with the baby, you must communicate with the elderly in many aspects in advance, explain what problems need to be paid attention to, and at the same time, it must be clear that the elderly will not necessarily meet your expectations, and may do a lot of things wrong, but learn to be considerate of the elderly, more patience for the elderly, and teach them a few times to remember.
In particular, disputes between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are easy to arise, communication is the key to solving problems, and at the same time, as sons and husbands, fathers must also play an important role, playing a good medium of communication between mothers and wives. Only family harmony, the child's growth is more secure, after all, only the love of the environment is more conducive to the growth of children.
Bao Dad and Mother should also pay attention to the body of the elderly, ask the elderly what trouble they have in the process of taking the baby, but also educate the child, for the older child, let the child add less trouble to the grandparents, but also help the grandparents to do things, teach the child to learn to be grateful, and also be a role model for the child, and then the child can learn to be filial piety to himself, otherwise if he leaves the child with an image of not knowing gratitude now, it is still difficult to let the child be filial to himself in the future.