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Why are some women looked up to by their in-laws after marriage, while others are only angry? Although this has a certain relationship with the character and family style of the in-laws, in the final analysis, it lies in the woman's management of marriage and your attitude early on.
If you are strong yourself, and your mother's family is also afraid to provoke, then after you get married, there is a high probability that your life will not be bad, after all, they dare not easily bully you.
On the contrary, if your own personality is too weak, and your mother's family may not be able to give you so much support, then your life in your in-laws' family will be passive everywhere, and it is difficult to grasp the real dominance.
Most of the women who are highly regarded by their in-laws, will not be bullied by their in-laws, and will not suffer losses in their in-laws' families have some commonalities. Overall, they did the following three rejections, each of which was critical, especially the last one.
One: Refuse to treat the mother-in-law as a mother, know how to keep a distance, and respect each other
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have no blood relationship, nor do they have any emotional basis, but even so, they will still be forced to become a family because of a man.
In this case, due to the difference in each other's personality, living habits, growth environment and acquired experience, it is easy to have greater contradictions and differences.
If you think of your mother-in-law as a mother, this is undoubtedly not smart, because to her, you may still be an outsider.
Forcibly approaching each other and treating each other as mother and daughter in a situation where the feelings are not yet deep and the relationship is not strong will do anything to promote the relationship between the two sides except to make both parties awkward.
The best way to treat her mother-in-law is not to treat her as a mother, but to treat her as an elder and a relative. Maintain respect and respect, but also maintain a certain distance, and occasionally need to pat yourself on the back and say something nice.
If you are really related, you can get along with your mother-in-law like a mother and daughter, of course, it is a good thing, but if each other's personalities are not so committed, you can maintain due courtesy and respect, and respect her like a boss, which is not a good way to maintain family harmony.
Second: Refuse to centrifuge with her husband, always unite the front, and support each other
Truly intelligent women will not be separated from their husbands at any time, because they understand that marriage is a matter of two people, and since they have married over, they are a family with their husbands, and they are the closest people.
If the relationship with your husband is bad and the relationship is tense, then you will only become isolated.
On the one hand, as a husband, on the other hand, as a son, men must play a role in reconciliation in the middle. If your emotional intelligence is not high enough and you don't know how to maintain interpersonal skills, it can easily backfire and even ruin your marriage.
In the TV series "Double Sided Tape", Yaping, the husband of Shanghai girl Lijuan, did not achieve the role of "double-sided tape".
When his wife had a conflict with her in-laws, he not only failed to reconcile them, but felt that his wife looked down on his parents, helped his parents blame his wife, and even helped his family to coax Li Juan and seek her money in the later stage.
In the end, Li Juan was discouraged and hastily divorced Ya Ping, ending the marriage. Two people who were originally in love with each other, but because of their husband's incompetence, they consumed their love, not to mention, and took their own lives.
If you want to not suffer losses in the in-laws' family, the husband's attitude is the key, the husband and wife should be a consistent external whole, if even the husband does not stand on the side of the wife, then the wife will be completely isolated.
Three: refuse to give up work, always maintain economic independence, and live out of yourself
A woman, whether in her own small family or in the environment of her in-laws' family, can make her voice and speak with confidence, then she must have her own independent economic ability.
The in-laws are a synthesis of all the social relations of all relatives on the husband's side, and the husband is not alone.
Because of love, because of responsibility, the husband is willing to bear the expenses of the whole family, willing to raise you, that is the love and sweetness between the husband and wife.
But such behavior is likely to change in the eyes of the in-laws, becoming that you are just a useless woman who needs to survive a little under the wings of a man.
What's more, some mothers-in-law will also feel sorry for their sons, feel that the daughter-in-law is not considerate enough, every penny you spend must be counted, you are like a beggar who reaches out for money, although you take what you deserve, but it seems to be given charity.
When you do not have your own independent economic ability, it is difficult for you to have a voice in the eyes of others.
Home should be a haven for each of us, whether it is the in-laws, the mother-in-law's family, or our own small home, as long as someone is there, there will be contradictions, disputes, which is not terrible. The most frightening thing is that you use the wrong way of handling it, or be aggressive and do not give in, or only promise to fail.
How many people who love each other, because of family relations, have to go their separate ways in the end. Family relationships also need to be managed, and they also need to have principles, bottom lines, and methods.
At home, everyone is an equal subject, you are not above anyone, but you do not have to bow to anyone. After all, only a family based on equality is a real family.
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