Text: Zheng Shaoyuan May my words warm you
-01-
Teacher Tu Lei, an emotional expert, once said such a sentence in a column:
In married life, neither person can fully dominate their own life, so they interfere with each other's life. In the end, both men had nowhere to go and were caught in a whirlpool of conflict.
This sentence reveals why many people are not happy in their married lives. Marriage is like a shackle, firmly locking the lives of two couples, and the cost of wanting to have freedom is too great, so many people are entangled in marriage. Over time, married life will become boring.
For everyone, marriage is not only because of love, or for other reasons; the only thing that can determine the happiness of marriage is the sense of responsibility of both husband and wife.
Only being responsible for the other half in the marriage will make the other half feel that the marriage is safe and happy, and the relationship between the husband and wife will be very good.
In marriage, almost all people will fall into such a wrong psychology, thinking that since they are already married, they must not lose each other. So in the long married life, gradually become picky, become selfish.
Marriage is gradually decaying in this endless overdraft.
-02-
Zhang Heng did not expect in any way that after leaving his ex-wife, he actually lived better and better, and seemed to be several years younger. Looking at my own life, it is getting worse and worse. This strong contrast made him a little sleepy.
In fact, a year ago, the married life between Zhang Heng and his ex-wife had already had problems, but he turned a blind eye, always felt that since he was married, his ex-wife did not dare to do anything with him, so he was even more unscrupulous, and he did not expect to eventually anger his ex-wife, resulting in the breakdown of the marriage.
And Zhang Heng's ex-wife Xiaomei, after divorcing him, once said such a sentence: Once I was also a woman who longed for love and marriage, and felt that marrying someone she liked should be the happiest thing. But it is precisely because of my naïve thinking that some people with ulterior motives take the opportunity to approach me. My ex-husband, he was the kind of scumbag who married me not because he loved me at all, but just used me as a stepping stone to change his destiny!
The reason why Xiaomei's last marriage broke down is because she has always played the role of a giver, and her ex-husband Zhang Heng has always been asking for it and has been calculating. Such feelings are destined not to last long, and may be able to be overcome with a passion at the beginning, but marriage is a long stream, and it is impossible to obtain happiness by passion.
And because he did not fulfill his responsibilities in the marriage, and calculated his wife everywhere, Zhang Heng was punished by marriage. Today, he has not only lost his marriage, but also lost his wife, but has also fallen into the state of homelessness. This made him regret what he had done.
-03-
The appearance of Zhang Heng, the ex-husband whom Xiaomei met four years ago, satisfies all of Xiaomei's fantasies about her boyfriend. It is undeniable that Xiaomei likes Zhang Heng because of her appearance. Zhang Hengren is tall and handsome, very pleasing to women.
After several contacts with Zhang Heng, Xiaomei found that Zhang Heng was not only handsome, but also very smart and capable, and a particularly self-motivated man who could bear hardships. This kind of man is simply perfect in Xiaomei's heart, so she is more convinced that Zhang Heng is the person she wants to find.
But a man with conditions like Zhang Heng must have no shortage of suitors around him. Xiao Mei had seen several girls pursuing Zhang Heng, but somehow, it didn't take long for these girls to give up.
This gave Xiaomei a great encouragement, and she began to pursue Zhang Heng. Zhang Heng's pursuit of her is also not strange, neither expressing his position nor rejecting it. Later, Zhang Heng always inquired about the situation of Xiaomei's family, and Xiaomei also told the truth.
In fact, Xiaomei's family is quite well-off, her parents are both employees of state-owned enterprises, and they are also natives. Zhang Heng is a foreigner, and Xiaomei also heard that his family is poor.
After knowing how Xiaomei's family was, Zhang Heng's attitude was much better than before. The simple Xiaomei also felt that she had impressed Zhang Heng, so she doubled her kindness to Zhang Heng. It didn't take long for the two to be together.
-04-
In fact, Zhang Heng was born in a rural family with many children, he is the eldest and the eldest. His family was poor, his parents were farmers, and he supported his family on the meager income from farming. Zhang Heng is a smart child in the village, learning very well, from a young age determined to change his fate, do not want to continue to be poor.
In this way, Zhang Heng's academic performance from childhood to adulthood was very good, and he was admitted to the university, becoming the only college student in the village at that time. His parents and siblings joined forces to send him to college.
After graduation, Zhang Heng chose to stay in the city, he found a job, and he worked very hard to do it. The boss appreciated him and gave him a promotion and a raise.
In fact, in this way, Zhang Heng is what people call the phoenix man, the type of man who makes the vast majority of women feel frightened. But it doesn't apply here. Instead, Xiaomei liked zhang Heng like this, thinking that he was self-motivated, very smart, and had a great sense of security with him, and baoqi would be a potential stock in the future!
When he married Xiaomei, Zhang Heng couldn't even come up with a dowry of 20,000 yuan, let alone buy a house in a city with little land.
-05-
Xiaomei's father did not agree to his daughter marrying this phoenix man at all, so he insisted on opposing it. But Xiaomei has always insisted. Because the father and daughter were very unhappy, Xiaomei's father even said, If you marry this phoenix man, I will break off relations with you. But at that time, Xiaomei preferred to sever ties with her parents and marry Zhang Heng.
At that time, Xiaomei still foolishly believed that with the ability of the two of them, they would definitely stand out and become famous, and Zhang Heng also showed a scrappy look, saying that he would definitely not live up to Xiaomei's expectations.
But Xiaomei realized that she had thought too simply. Because after getting married, Zhang Heng had no time to take care of this small family, and he still had a family waiting for him to raise it. And Xiaomei also had to participate in the "poverty alleviation".
Xiaomei finally knows what it's like to be a poverty alleviation marriage, and she feels that such a married life will never come out, because it is too difficult to support Zhang Heng's family, and there is no end.
The couple began to quarrel because of the money, the so-called poor couple Pepsi mourned, And Xiaomei finally understood the truth of this sentence.
What she couldn't accept most was that Zhang Heng actually started the idea of her parents' property. This made her doubt for the first time about Zhang Heng's purpose in marrying herself. Later, step by step, she finally determined that Zhang Heng did not marry her at all because he loved her, but because he was interested in her family property!
-06-
There were serious problems in the married life of the two people, but Zhang Heng felt that it was not a big deal, he felt that he had eaten Xiaomei, and he was not worried at all that she would file for divorce.
But unexpectedly, Xiaomei actually proposed a divorce to him under the pain of painful thoughts.
After the divorce, Zhang Heng became the phoenix man who had nothing again, and he also thought about finding another woman to remarry, but found that almost all women like him were afraid to avoid it.
On the other hand, After the divorce, she was indeed a little depressed, but she gradually came out of the haze under the persuasion of her parents and friends. She met a man with good conditions under the introduction of a friend.
The man has also been divorced, but has no children, and he and Xiaomei are the right door, and the two people have been with each other for a while and feel that each other is good, so they began to talk about marriage.
And Xiaomei's parents are very happy to see that their daughter can come out of the shadows. They agreed with the marriage and said that they would marry the house and the car.
-07-
The sharp contrast makes Zhang Heng jealous and hateful, why marry me, your family does not marry anything, but marries someone else to accompany the caravan?
So Zhang Heng went to Xiao Mei to ask for an explanation, but his behavior was undoubtedly self-insulting. Let Xiaomei and her parents have a sarcastic meal, Zhang Heng can only slip away in gray.
If a man is irresponsible in marriage, it is a disaster for a woman. The responsibility that should have been taken on by him was left to the woman. This married life is very painful.
The phoenix man has such a problem, not taking responsibility, selfish, and calculating his wife. All kinds of shortcomings will cause the relationship between husband and wife to break down, and the marriage will also go to ruin.
-END-