Text/Zhiheng
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Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how should we get along to reduce contradictions?
Some people say that the mother-in-law should take care of the daughter-in-law meticulously, and only after the old age can there be hope, after all, it is impossible to let her son serve, and the daughter-in-law is the future "nurse".
Some people also say that when the mother-in-law was tired for half a lifetime when she was young, she should take care of the flowers and plants after retirement, travel out, and enjoy life. Even if you do not serve your daughter-in-law's confinement, do not help your daughter-in-law's son with your children, after all, after the old age, your daughter-in-law should also do filial piety, after all, whether the mother-in-law raises a daughter-in-law or not, she is the mother-in-law of the daughter-in-law, and she is the elder, and she needs the filial piety and service of the younger generation.
In comparison, in my opinion, the former is more reasonable and fairer, after all, there is a reward for paying.
The latter is somewhat selfish, such a mother-in-law does not want to help her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law to reduce the pressure of life in time as much as she can, but also wants to be taken care of in her old age, and all the pressure is concentrated on the younger generation, which is somewhat unreasonable.
Most of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradictions that occur around us are also unreasonable phenomena caused by the latter's thinking. There is an old saying: Filial piety comes first. But before "filial piety", young people also need to see whether their own efforts and filial piety are worth it, rather than blindly obeying, acting as an old good person, beautifying others, and harming themselves.
The mother-in-law was seriously ill and did not want to ask for a nurse, and asked her daughter-in-law to serve her
Tian Rong, 42 years old, fell ill because she did not sit well when she gave birth to twins in her early years. But in order to reduce the pressure on the family, shouldering some of the responsibilities of the husband, he still works hard in his forties to supplement the family.
Fortunately, after the hard work of the husband and wife, the living conditions have gradually improved. Although it is not rich and expensive, it also has small savings.
The days went on like this, and Clinker's mother-in-law was seriously ill and hospitalized. Tian Rong and her husband discussed that they wanted to ask for a nurse for their mother-in-law, but when the mother-in-law heard that the nurse wanted six or seven thousand a month, she insisted on not letting her son ask for a nurse, and shouted to the heavens that she hoped to let Tian Rong take care of her.
The daughter-in-law resigned and served for a year, and the mother-in-law was well and fell ill herself
Tian Rong looked at her embarrassed husband, and then looked at her stubborn mother-in-law, and she resigned her job first and took care of her mother-in-law wholeheartedly. Her mother-in-law's illness would not get better for a while and a half, so Tian Rong had to keep running between home and the hospital.
Tian Rong's health was not good, and now coupled with taking care of her mother-in-law's two ends, she was under the dual pressure of body and spirit, which further collapsed her body.
More importantly, the sick old man has a fluctuating temper and is very difficult to serve, especially Tian Rong's mother-in-law was famous for her stinky temper when she was young, which made Tian Rong very depressed during this time.
She often felt headaches, dizziness, and felt that she had no strength. I thought I was tired and was discussing going to the hospital to check my body, but before I could go, I fainted on the way to deliver food to my mother-in-law.
The daughter-in-law died, and the mother-in-law's willfulness ruined the happiness of the son
Tian Rong was taken to the hospital by passers-by, and after examination, a thunderbolt on a sunny day reached Tian Rong's ear, and she actually suffered from cancer. Originally the body was not good, the immunity was low, this nearly a year of hard work, so that her body was completely overdrawn, the disease quietly sneaked into her body.
From the time the cancer is detected to the time of death, it is not long. And Tian Rong's sudden death has left this family without the main heart. On weekdays, from eating to dressing to maintaining the hygiene of the family, Tian Rong was alone, and after she left, her husband was completely panicked.
From the birth of the child to the age of teenage, Tian Rong was also the main caretaker, and after she left, her husband was all in the clouds on the affairs of the child.
It can be said that after Tian Rong left, her husband's sky collapsed. And Tian Rong's mother-in-law also ruined her daughter-in-law and ruined her son's happiness because of her own willfulness.
Supporting the elderly is not the responsibility of the daughter-in-law alone
In my opinion, while Blaming this mother-in-law, there is another person who is ridiculously wrong, that is, Tian Rong's husband. As a man, you can't help your wife when your mother is lying, and you can't share the pressure of your wife when she is tired, such a man is not worthy of being a father and a husband. Such a foolish and filial mother and irresponsible man can only make a harmonious and happy family go downhill.
Yet all around us, such men abound. In front of their own mothers and wives, they always let their wives bear more responsibilities, always let their wives seek perfection, ignore their wives' feelings, but feel that their mothers are bigger than the sky.
When they sacrificed everything from their wives to fulfill their filial piety, they seemed to forget that the person who spent this life with them and supported them until the old man was not his mother, but his wife.
Supporting the elderly, especially the mother-in-law, is not the responsibility of a woman alone. Indeed, women do better than men when it comes to caring for the sick and supporting the elderly.
But this does not put all the responsibility on one person. The so-called husband and wife should be blessed and enjoy the same difficulties, and bear responsibility for each other, rather than blindly squeezing one of the parties.
When men understand this truth, it is possible to feel the tenderness of their wives and the warmth of their families. Otherwise, how can a wife who is overwhelmed by the pressure of a mountain be gentle as water?
Sometimes, many women's bad tempers are forced out by men, and I hope all men can understand this.
Don't drag yourself down by serving the elderly
In the case of Tian Rong, Tian Rong as a victim is not without her own problems. Her biggest problem was being too weak, too kind, too good at talking.
The daughter-in-law should be filial to the mother-in-law, but this does not mean that the daughter-in-law should satisfy all the ideas of the mother-in-law. Tian Rongming knew her physical condition, but she still did not pay attention to it, and still overdrawn her physical health, which was her biggest mistake.
Women must not drag down their bodies because they serve the elderly. In this world, if you don't treat yourself well, you don't care for yourself, and others won't cherish you and value you, but they will bully you and squeeze you harder.
There is a saying that all your saddles before and after the horse are sometimes taken for granted by others.
There must be a degree in everything, a degree in caring for the elderly, a degree in connivance with the husband, and a degree in educating children. This degree is your bottom line.
If in marriage a woman has no bottom line, too weak, too kind, too good to talk, in the end can only harm herself.
When everything happens, nothing is wrong. We need to wake ourselves up through this matter, and often reflect on how we should treat life and manage marriage.
May all of us take this as a warning to protect ourselves and live our lives in the face of all kinds of dangers.
END.