Cheng Yi Radio X Cool Me Music
Jointly built
『Cheng Yi's Spiritual Clinic」
Dr. Cheng's Great Spiritual Health Care
You deserve it
Vol.77
Listeners leave a message
@White White
Because of family reasons, there is no way to get married with his girlfriend.
When it comes to this problem, the girlfriend is very mad.
I can't talk about breaking up, otherwise my girlfriend will have an attitude of sacrificing her because I don't love enough, which makes it difficult for me to accept.
Why can't people who love each other get together and disperse?
Don't use feelings to coerce each other, cherish the time they once had together, and separate peacefully.
Wouldn't it be better to go from lover to enemy in an instant?
Cheng Yi answered
People who have really loved, it is difficult to get together and disperse at the moment of breakup.
The so-called lightness of all clouds and breezes is achieved after a long period of healing and self-persuasion.
After all, there are many memories and experiences between you, whether good or bad, it is two people who have walked hand in hand.
In this case, as you said, there is no way to get married with your girlfriend, nor do you dare to talk to her about breaking up.
Sandwiched between the two, there is no way to get a result, and there is no way to end the relationship.
So hopefully not to argue or break up smoothly, which is unlikely or unrealistic.
Why are you still so calm now?
It is because you have made plans to break up with her in your heart, but for various reasons, you dare not express it to her, and you have been suppressing it.
So your timeline is not equal.
I hope you can have a good talk with her sincerely and express your thoughts.
Don't get emotional and seriously explore the future of two people.
If there is really no way to get married, stop the loss in time.
Otherwise, the two people will sink deeper and deeper, and when they break up, they will only superimpose the pain.
I hope you can give her more tolerance and care, and calm the pain and sadness in her heart.
Like you said, love each other, don't want everyone to end up ripping their faces and leaving.
It's always hoped that both people would be happy, wouldn't it?
@ Sleepy
I've been with my boyfriend for seven or eight years, and it's time to talk about marriage.
Our love process has also experienced many difficulties and obstacles, and finally came together.
Life is stable at the moment and we both feel very happy.
But recently we have been unhappy because of trivial matters in life, which in my opinion is a relatively common contradiction.
But the boyfriend takes it very seriously.
Then conclude: he doesn't love me anymore and wants to break up.
Ever since he had this plan, he had never wavered.
From a good boyfriend to an indifferent person.
Because such a change is so sudden, it makes me very miserable, and even makes very irrational words and deeds.
I really can't control myself, what should I do?
Everyone is definitely different from others due to various reasons such as family environment, temperament and personality.
So it's easy to feel differently about the same thing.
Like you said, there are some things you feel are just ordinary contradictions.
But in the boyfriend's view, it may be violating the bottom line.
So much so that now that the contradiction has broken out, you will feel incomprehensible.
At this stage, it is recommended that you first give each other some time to be calm and calm, and think about these contradictions you encounter in your relationship.
What exactly does it mean to the other person? See if there is a chance of remediation?
After calming down, the two people can talk.
If something is your problem, you can apologize to him.
Although there are some late times, it is important to express your own attitude.
Similarly, if it's his problem, hopefully he'll apologize to you too.
In the process of communication, look at these contradictory problems, can the two of you make some changes?
You have been in love for such a long time, then I think the feelings must be very deep.
Serious communication and gentle thoughtfulness must have worked.
I hope you will be able to achieve success after the communication.
After all, such a long relationship deserves a good result.
@Worry-free
I take great care of the people I like in every relationship, even obediently.
Even if it's a date, almost all the expenses are out of me.
I was able to meet almost all the demands made by the other party.
We rarely quarrel, but every time we quarrel, I bow my head and admit my mistake first.
Even if it's not my problem, I will still take the initiative to take all the faults and responsibilities.
On the other hand, my friends around me are cold and violent and lose their temper with their girlfriends.
Some friends are right to spend their girlfriends' money, but their relationship is still very good.
What went wrong?
Being obedient to the person you like is not a love behavior worth affirming.
You think, if you are obedient to others, it proves that you are at a disadvantage in the relationship and are susceptible to the influence of the other party.
Or rather, the other person is all your code of conduct.
As you say, whether it is an expense or a requirement, you try your best to bear and meet.
Even two people quarreling is that you first bow your head and admit your mistake.
So I want to ask, in this relationship, what does the other party need to pay?
You have to know that feelings are talked about by two people, not by one person who lowers his posture to flatter.
It's a very deformed love.
Two people must love each other in an equal position.
This is love.
When you find yourself in a low-profile position all the time, you see your friends around you again.
Although it is a natural thing, it can still maintain feelings.
Every couple has their own way of getting along, but it's not right to say what you're doing now.
Two people together must have their own part of the responsibility.
For example, if the other party pays the bill, then you can watch the movie, she is responsible for doing the strategy, then you can book a ticket.
There must always be a part of mutual giving, so that the other party can be nourished in loving and being loved.
Your problem is that you don't know how to love yourself.
In fact, in romantic relationships, we all emphasize:
I want to be the one who is valued and loved, but how can I do it?
That is to love yourself first, how to love yourself is to teach others how to love you.
If you can't love yourself, accept yourself, and tolerate yourself, then others won't know how to value you.
This is not a business relationship, there is no such thing as A and B.
You can make your appeal, or you can do it your way, with your feelings as the mainstay.
I want you to reap the love, not an incomplete self.
This issue ends here