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『Cheng Yi's Spiritual Clinic」
Dr. Cheng's Great Spiritual Health Care
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Vol.86
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@Glass
I'm currently in my sophomore year, he just graduated and worked for more than half a year, and we talked for more than a year.
Recently he said because I'm currently in school.
He felt that there were more possibilities in my university and wanted me to give up on him for a while.
And he felt that I had no way of understanding the pressures of the workplace and society.
A bit of a struggle between the workplace and love, and I want to return to single life.
But we still get along as friends.
Wait until I graduate two years later to discuss the relationship.
I agreed.
But I have been reluctant to cut it off, and I want to cut it twice but I can't bear it.
I wondered, would I continue to have this relationship with him, or would I cut it off at once?
I think the two of us still like each other, it just becomes a reality.
Cheng Yi answered
I'm more able to understand your boyfriend's thoughts.
He has just graduated from work, and he faces a more complex social environment.
So he needs more time and energy to deal with.
You're still in school, and the two of you will have different lives and schedules.
So he felt that he could not do both.
He offered to return to single life.
I also hope to put more energy into my work and give myself enough ability to cope with the current environment.
But based on what he said to you, I think the two of you still have feelings.
Although you are separated, I hope that the two people can continue to get along as friends.
You can even wait until you graduate to talk about marriage and love.
Let me give you an analysis of what he thinks.
He feels that his current job makes him feel overwhelmed, unable to fully devote his energy to work and spend time on you.
So his situation is clearer.
Now it's your own emotional state to consider.
If you feel that there will be all kinds of changes in two years, you can't promise the future.
Then you are like he said, after separation, you will continue to live your own life.
If there is a chance to continue the leading edge in two years, it would be great.
If you meet someone better, you can also bless each other.
If you can't understand it, then you can choose to cut it in two.
If you are reluctant to do so, then you have always maintained a friend relationship.
But it's self-deception.
Because you don't think in your heart that the two of you are over.
The choice in this matter is in your hands.
If you really can't give up, you can try to communicate with him.
Then you have to be mentally prepared that he can't spend too much time and energy on you.
Feelings sometimes change rapidly, and sometimes they last forever.
There is no way to say a lot of things now.
I just hope you don't get knocked out by three words and cut off other possibilities.
@ Sixteen
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and now I'm feeling more and more tired.
Because he didn't have a very stable job, he did some part-time work.
Let him look for a job and don't listen, he said he could make money anywhere.
I thought about saving some money in a stable job first and then taking it slowly.
For my own words, I can afford my own life on my own, and two people I feel a little difficult.
Because my own salary is not high.
I think life is two people together, and it is okay to be bitter and then sweet.
But he gave me a very unstable feeling and made me feel that the future was very confused.
His parents were divorced, had no house, had a car, and had no savings.
My family is not particularly rich but very happy.
I wonder if I should still go ahead?
You're more worried about whether there will be a future with a boyfriend who doesn't have a stable job.
I would like to ask you first, do you have any time now?
You yourself said that you are feeling more and more tired now.
But whatever you say with your boyfriend, you can't listen to it.
Your own salary is not enough to cover the expenses of two people.
You feel tired and bitter now, but you are still worried about the future.
I'd rather have a good look at the moment.
There's nothing wrong with your idea, two people can work together and find a stable job first.
Take your time, the car house will have.
But apparently he's completely different from what you think.
He was so confused that he didn't want a job and couldn't hear what you were saying.
Whether it is family reasons or his own problems, it is difficult for a boy like this not to be misunderstood.
He is in such a state of non-self-improvement now, don't say the future, you two are not living well in your current lives.
You have also said that many times communication has been fruitless, so I suggest that you can do some tough measures.
For example, tell him that if you continue to lie in front of your home like this, it will be difficult for the two of you to continue to develop.
You see what he's going to do next.
If he doesn't care about the present, then I don't think you need to have any nostalgia for the relationship.
If he can work hard from now on, then you may have a good direction of development.
Don't make excuses for him now.
He is not willing to fight and is not willing to take responsibility for the future of the two of you.
So I don't know what you can get out of this relationship?
@Tong Tong
I've been with my boyfriend for three years and have been engaged some time ago.
But until now he hadn't proposed to me.
He once asked me if I needed to buy a diamond ring and announce our engagement.
Because I considered the pressure of my boyfriend's work, I said not to use it for the time being.
I really just want a marriage proposal.
Not for the circle of friends, nor for anything else.
I just want to commemorate this important day.
I also tentatively asked him, do you want to propose before you get married?
As a result, he said that the engagement ceremony was equivalent to a marriage proposal.
I really don't understand what he thinks.
Is he too lazy to propose, or does he not love me enough?
I think it could be that the two of you have different views on the same thing.
He thinks that buying you a diamond ring and announcing your divorce is already a successful marriage proposal.
But you are more valued, and you hope to have such a complete ceremony that will be commemorated later.
You can communicate this question first.
You tell him what you're thinking.
Now that the two of you have come to the point of talking about marriage.
I don't think there are some things that need to be too hidden.
What you want and what you want, you can be open and honest with him directly.
And to test him like this, he may not understand what you really mean.
If you think about it, you can figure out the boy's attitude towards you.
At that time, whether he is serious about preparing the marriage proposal you want.
Or have you ever recognized what kind of person this is, and it is only good for you.
Just talk to him about what you want.
If he's not able to give you the answer you want, then he's not the right person for you.
This issue ends here