A list of taboo behaviors in adult male and female love.

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@Mingming

I took my boyfriend's shoes and did an intimacy test, and the test result was: extremely harmful.

Only then did I realize what a terrible person I was.

I've never chosen the right guy or run a normal relationship.

I thought I had an objective and clear understanding of myself.

Now I find that those "acquaintances" are just excuses for myself.

According to what this test said, many of them matched me.

In particular, being extremely emotional makes me not have the confidence to experience love or marriage.

What should I do? Is the intimacy test really credible?

Cheng Yi answered

The intimacy test can only be used as a reference.

It doesn't have accurate data and scientific evidence like a physical report to prove your physical condition.

You can use this test result to discover your own problems and find problems with each other between the two of you.

To change some of your bad habits and strive for a positive healthy love between two people.

That's where you should go after you've done this kind of test.

Like you've done so many tests right now.

You find yourself extremely emotional, too egotistical, and unable to deal with the contradictions encountered in your relationship.

Then that's the problem you two are facing right now.

You have to prescribe the right medicine one by one and find a way to solve it.

Don't worry about others, and don't scare yourself.

Who doesn't have problems when it comes to falling in love?

As the old man often said: which pots and pans will not bump into each other?

The key is that when you find that these problems are in yourself, you have to face them more.

I suggest you take a good look at these test results first, and pay more attention to those that match your own.

After that, you need to have a good chat with your boyfriend.

Because only the parties are most aware of the contradictions and problems in this relationship, they jointly find some solutions.

No one is born to run all relationships.

Especially in terms of feelings, it cannot be measured by rational and objective benchmarks.

What you're going to do isn't being hit by the results of an intimacy test.

Instead, it is to see the substantive problems reflected behind the results, so as to manage the relationship well.

@Summer

I've been with my boyfriend for over two years, and lately I've always felt like he's talking weirdly.

Sometimes when you share some Weibo couple conversations, he will ask, are you the same with your ex? I was dumbfounded.

He said he couldn't fully trust me and felt like there was nothing I liked.

So think I won't like him all the time.

After being together for so long, we've only been holding hands and hugging until now.

He'll resent our relationship for moving too fast.

Can't talk to him all the time, he'll find it scary.

I like him a lot, but in the long run, no amount of enthusiasm will be extinguished, right?

What should I do?

Listening to your situation, it can be roughly considered that he has had a bad emotional experience before, and I don't know how many paragraphs it is.

At this time, I don't recommend that you be more enthusiastic, which may scare him.

You can do small things that start by slowly strengthening his confidence and letting him know your feelings.

However, feelings are not accurate.

You do like him now, but no one can guarantee that later.

While neither person can guarantee 10 years, they will be together in 20 years.

But at this moment, we should still be fully committed.

This is the greatest respect for this relationship.

It cannot be said that because of the harm that has been done, another person is required to take this new risk.

It's not you who hurt him, so you don't have to pay for it.

There is a need for feedback in the relationship.

The passion you put in needs him to give you back, and if he doesn't have it you bring it up with him.

Suppose you have made it clear, but he still prevaricates you with words like "I dare not invest" and "I still need to consider it.".

There's a good chance that this person is just giving you a preventive shot.

Facing every relationship sincerely is the attitude that an adult should have.

Using the previous thing as a shield is actually an act of cowardice.

@Yang Fan

I met a very nice guy before, but separated by some contradictions.

Later, I have been upset.

Although each other have a new object.

But he seemed to have completely let go, and I kept wandering.

I'd love to talk to him, though not to salvage it, but I just feel sorry for it.

But afraid to disturb the other party.

I wonder if I'd be better off telling him how I felt, so I wouldn't be so sorry.

Is this state of mind normal? Should I go to him?

Some regrets can be filled by human efforts.

But some regrets are more memorable because they cannot be repaired.

Like you said, he has always been a difficult intention in your heart.

Although now they have new objects for each other.

But you can't let go of him, you ask me if I can go to him?

What I want to tell you is not only to look at your own thoughts, but also to pay attention to the other person's feelings.

If he's very happy right now, then I suggest you don't bother the other person.

It's easy to understand from another angle.

If you're having a very good relationship with your boyfriend right now, but his ex-girlfriend keeps looking for some memories of the past, you're not feeling good, right?

Think more from the other person's point of view, and you can make a more correct judgment.

Don't just want to find a cathartic opening just because you are unhappy in your heart, and then pull someone else to use it as a stepping stone for you.

By then you are comfortable, but it may destroy the harmonious life of many people.

Besides, you're still in a state of not letting go.

Even if you go to the other party, it contains a lot of selfishness.

Although you say that it is not for redemption, there are still some obstacles in your heart that cannot be overcome.

In this emotional state, there's no way you can have a good chat with him.

I think you can wait until you actually let go of this past.

When you can face it lightly, then consider whether to look for him.

Now that you have your own love, he has a new object, and he belongs to an unrelated state.

I don't want you to break everyone's life on impulse.

Whether it is regret or unwillingness, you know best in your heart.

But the other person has a new life, and not disturbing is the best goodbye.

This issue ends here