Finding someone you love, falling in love with, getting married, and starting a family is the desire of most people.
However, in a relationship, if we are not sure whether we love each other, we may have hesitation in our hearts about whether to continue with the other person.
◎ Interpretation of emotional psychological counseling: I got married soon, and I still don't know if I love him.
I am 28 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for more than 1 year. I met him on a blind date. He met my expectations in every way, and my parents suggested that I get along with him first.
He is not handsome, but he is clean, down-to-earth, and his family conditions are good. Although he doesn't know much sweet talk, he is very good to me, he is very comfortable in his words, and he will accompany me to do what I like...
I feel that my boyfriend is a man who can be trusted for life, and he is very suitable for being a husband. We have met our parents, our families are optimistic about us, and if there are no special circumstances, maybe we will get married at the end of the year or next year.
However, I don't know why, although I like to be with him, I find that I don't have much passion, nor the excitement I imagined.
I'm not sure if I really love him. After all, I am with him because he has good conditions and is good to me.
I was confused, how could I be sure I loved him? If we don't love, can we really be happy when we get married like this?
Analysis of emotional psychological counseling:
You're going to marry your boyfriend, but you're not sure if you love each other, which makes you feel confused, hesitant, and a little worried about the future, not knowing whether each other is suitable for marriage.
1. What does it mean to love someone?
Some people say that liking is a faint feeling and cannot mobilize too much life energy; And love, which mobilizes sexual desire, and the passion of life, will stimulate some of the deepest things in your life.
You feel like you kind of like him, so do you love him?
◎ To deal with this problem, we must first understand, what is it to really love him?
You can't tell what you like about Ta, but you still love Ta.
You spend a lot of time just staying together and not having sex.
You have endless words and often forget the passage of time.
You can talk about everything about yourself, even if the experiences aren't honorable, and you know the other person won't mind. At the same time, you are willing to know everything about Ta.
You are willing to listen to each other's feelings sincerely and want to make each other happy.
You feel safe: at all times, you are willing to be each other's support.
Whether good or bad things happen in your work/life, or hold opinions about some events, you want to share them with them first.
You know clearly what the disadvantages of Ta are, but still want to be with Ta.
You are willing to ride out the difficult times with Ta.
They make you a better person.
You want to see your family and friends.
You are happy to think about your future.
Second, have you ever experienced the feeling of being in love?
You and your boyfriend have a good feeling for each other from the beginning of meeting, and you get along harmoniously in love, but you feel that you lack passion.
So, when will your passion be ignited?
If it has never been ignited, you may need to reflect on yourself and make some changes; If it's just for him, maybe it's that the patterns of getting along with each other need to be adjusted.
Since both of you like each other, you can use your creativity, stimulate each other's feelings, and make the relationship more passionate.
Generally speaking, men and women in the love stage feel happy, passionate, and full of ideas about love.
However, it must be pointed out that men and women at this stage are not sufficiently considered and mature in many factors of their own reality outside the world of two. Occasional rationality is also put aside by the sweetness of love, and in summary, it is a stage where there are more illusions than rationality.
When the passion fades, the fanaticism fades, and the return of reason will appropriately guide the relationship to the next stage.
3. If you don't love, is it suitable to enter marriage?
Do you feel happy with someone you love, or happy with someone you love? In fact, everyone has their own choices, and they can find many reasons for their choices.
◎ Maybe these two short stories will inspire you.
The first is Alice's story. Alice's family conditions are good, and her boyfriend's family is poor, but the two are very in love.
After Alice took her boyfriend to meet her parents, the parents raised a very strong objection, the only reason being that the boy's family was too poor.
Alice thought this reason was ridiculous, but she didn't expect it to become her biggest obstacle to being with him.
No matter how much her boyfriend said that she would make Alice happy, no matter how Alice showed her determination to spend her life with her boyfriend, her parents always refused to nod and did everything possible to prevent them from meeting.
However, Alice did not give up and did not waver in the face of the choice to cut off her parents.
In the midst of many unblessed voices, she married her boyfriend. At the beginning of the marriage, the two had a hard time, and they could only snuggle up to each other and move forward slowly.
Her husband has never forgotten his commitment, and Alice has always been determined to fight with her husband.
The days slowly came out, and the income of the two gradually became solid. Seeing that Alice is living happily, the attitude of parents, relatives and friends has slowly changed.
Next is Cici's story. Cici's family is also very good, and he also has a relationship with a boy who is not very well-off. This relationship was also denied by Cici's parents.
Cici was very sad and did some resistance, but in the face of her parents' expectations and concerns, the meek Cici still chose to end this relationship in the era of pure love.
Later, she obeyed her parents and married their chosen blind date. Her husband is very good, gentle and considerate to her.
She decided that since she chose to be with him, she should try to love him and give for this family. Then, she gradually fell in love with her husband, and they loved each other very much and lived happily.
Life is a choice, and no matter what choice you make, you are responsible for it.
Sometimes, if you always assume that other choices will not be better, you may miss the opportunity to be happy on the choices you have already made.
You can ask yourself, do I enjoy being with him? If you want to be happy, are you willing to work hard for it? Sometimes the important thing is not what to choose, but to believe in yourself and work hard after choosing.