Text/Hui's Road
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Some time ago, several middle-aged and elderly blind date programs from the northeast were out of the circle. For example, "The Fate Is Not Too Late", "The Choice of Love", "Blind Love" and so on.
Northeast grandpa and aunt looking for an object, after 00 looked at it, they all called straight up.
It turned out that the uncles and aunts did not bend in the show, went straight to the theme, and showed a strong hardcore blind date.
They talk about money without hesitation:
"I have a pension of 3,000 yuan a month, and I am willing to spend it with my wife and children."
"After we are both treated, can you hand me the pay card?"
There are also aunts who confess their time freedom: "My daughter is married, and my granddaughter is in kindergarten." ”
These weathered uncles and aunts, in front of the blind date, do not have the romantic modifications and aesthetic pursuits in young people's love, and abandon the desire to say hugh and various temptations.
They do not shy away from talking about money and conditions, in order to find a shoulder that can be relied on in the face of the ruthless years.
These uncles and aunts have experienced decades of polishing, and their attitude towards marriage is naturally realistic, transparent and grounded.
They know that marriage is not easy, that it is not only two people holding hands, but also the collision of the concepts of two original families.
They know that happiness is hard to find, not only to have the romance of the wind and snow, but also to implement it in the trivialities of a lifetime such as eating and dressing.
Carefully taking stock of their mate selection conditions, we found that the happy marriage in their eyes is only these three things:
There is money in the pocket, there are people around, and there is love in the heart.
There is money in the pocket, and there is no panic in case of trouble
Although there is enough to drink water, "poor and lowly couples are sad" is also a hard truth that has been verified by countless facts since ancient times.
There was a hot topic on Zhihu: "In marriage, is money important?" ”
One netizen answered the question with the inner monologue of a couple.
The wife writes:
"I sat on the back of your motorcycle, the child was held in front of you, and the family of three in the big winter was about to be paralyzed." Suddenly there was a sharp brake, and our baby flew out like a badminton ball. ”
The husband writes:
"Don't dare to get sick, the child's milk powder money and kindergarten tuition alone account for more than half of the two people's salaries." As a man, looking at the haggard child lying on the bed, looking at the wife who was helpless because she didn't have money to pay for the hospital, I heard the sound of my own heart cracking. ”
In just two short sentences, it depicts the truth of the world.
If you want to be happy in marriage, you really can't do without the escort of money.
Sanmao said: "Marriage cannot be implemented in the small things of dressing, eating, and counting money, it cannot last long. ”
Turning to the Marriage Law, the full text of 4313 words, none of which talk about "love" to "love", all revolve around one word: money.
When a husband and wife divorce, how is the joint property of the husband and wife divided?
If one of the spouses cheats, how is the joint property distributed?
Husband and wife are separated, how is the joint debt distributed?
As Zhou Guoping said: "Love is a spiritual life, following the ideal principle; marriage is a social life, following the principle of reality." ”
Of course, there are also many obsessive women in life who "marry love", such as my girlfriend.
She is an only child, from a well-to-do family, held in the palm of her hand by her parents since childhood, and has a kind and sunny personality.
When looking for a partner, she chose a thousand choices, and finally chose her current husband Xiao Zhao. Xiao Zhao is a "phoenix man" in many people, with excellent personal conditions and extremely poor family conditions.
The girlfriend's parents are firmly opposed, and even threaten to break off the relationship, but the girlfriend naively thinks that as long as the other person is good and the two have feelings, there is no need to consider each other's family conditions.
Life at the beginning of marriage was relatively happy, but from the beginning of her pregnancy, the marriage fell to the bottom.
The husband's salary is low, and he also has to subsidize the in-laws, and all the examination costs and expenses from pregnancy to childbirth are borne by the girlfriend herself.
After the birth of the child, the husband is busy with work, and can not afford to hire a nanny, the girlfriend can only take the child by herself, often tired to collapse.
The mother-in-law not only did not help, but also often ridiculed, saying that she was arrogant and opened her mouth and closed her mouth: "The women on our side, while taking the children, go to the field to work, and do not delay anything!" ”
She bought necessities for her children frugally, and her husband and mother-in-law complained that she spent money indiscriminately.
When the girlfriend felt that she really couldn't go on, when she thought of divorce, she couldn't bear to let the child have no mother, in the repeated torment of the heart, she was forced to become "Xianglin Sister-in-law", speaking of herself, when she opened her mouth, she always said: "I didn't expect to get married like this, really..."
What happened to the girlfriend, as written in Pride and Prejudice:
"Marriages that only consider money are ridiculous, marriages that don't consider money are stupid."
There are people around, hugging each other for warmth
In the Six Records of Fusheng, it is written:
"No one stood with me at dusk, and no one asked me if the porridge was warm. No one turned off the lights with me, and no one shared my book for half a lifetime. No one accompanied me late at night, and no one shared the wine with me. ”
Reading tears, this is the ultimate in loneliness.
The poet John Dorne said that no one is an island.
Man is a social animal, but whoever can choose is willing to live in isolation.
"If you are lonely and drunk on the yellow flowers, you are afraid of the yellow flowers, and you also laugh at the silence of people."
It is human nature to be afraid of loneliness and coldness, and to pursue warm companionship.
There is a friend next to her who is an unmarried person, she is fierce at work, her life is colorful, and she especially likes all kinds of parties and parties.
After a party, it was already midnight, and she was drunk and had to ask everyone to sing.
I advised her, "It's too late, so go home and rest!" ”
She suddenly broke down and cried: "Home? Where do I have a home? Where is my home alone? ”
Luo Zhenyu once said such a thing.
At the age of 30, he felt that getting married was very boring, and he was very resistant to marriage, and even planned not to marry for the rest of his life.
However, an old man he met by chance at the beach made him completely change his mind.
At that time, the old man was newly cured of a serious illness, and when talking about marriage, the old man said that when people are old, marriage is not noisy and noisy, nor does it have anything to do with conditions and wealth.
"Marriage, just for me to wake up at three o'clock in the middle of the night, I am thirsty, my wounds hurt, I just need to poke the side, the old lady knows, I have to drink water at this time." 」 On this sip of water, if there is no marriage that has been operated for decades, there is no person around, at this time, where do I want this saliva? ”
As for why you should get married, the old man said this:
"To get married is to find someone, to accompany you, like two small trees, twisted together to grow, and then the fruit you bear is the most precious." 」
A happy marriage is when someone stands with you at dusk and someone asks you if the porridge is warm.
There is love in the heart that illuminates the rest of your life
Some people say that the ideal state of marriage is not to "fall in love", but to "walk in love".
Marriages with only love are not good, and marriages without love "do not live long".
To a certain extent, love is the fuse and lifesaver of marriage.
There are frictions, contradictions, fierce disputes in ordinary people's marriages, and divorce thoughts that arise from time to time.
However, two people who come together because of love will not be easily defeated by the trivialities of marriage, and they have the ability to grow together.
When Qian Xuesen and Jiang Ying were married, the two read such vows.
Qian Xuesen said that in his lifetime, he shared happiness and hardship with Ms. Jiang Ying.
Jiang Ying responded that no matter what twists and turns she encountered, her love for Mr. Qian Xuesen would never change.
When Qian Xuesen was placed under house arrest in the United States for 5 years, Jiang Ying did not abandon it, accompanied him around, and finally looked forward to returning home safely.
Qian Xuesen won the award, and he said interesting love words: "Jiang" belongs to me.
Qian Xuesen died, and Jiang Ying dreamed back at night, nagging that he was leaving and going to accompany Xuesen.
Because of the love in their hearts, they have been together for 62 years.
They warmed each other, grew together, walked through the trough side by side, and greeted fate hand in hand.
It is like two trees, as if they are separated forever, but they are dependent on each other for life.
Mao Buyi sang in "There is Meat and Vegetarian":
Sunrise and sunset, deep and deep
A small square table with meat and vegetables
A figure was calmly busy
A pair of hands gives the time a temperature.
There is no sea oath mountain alliance, no flower before the moon, but you can feel the warm love.
Writer Mader said: What really promotes love is not strong love, but trivial time.
True love is very real, all in a porridge and a meal, in the trivial days of chicken feathers.
With the love of fireworks, the days are finely polished and smooth, and it is a good marriage.
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Writer Su Qian has this sentence:
"Marriage is to have a person to discuss things, to talk nonsense together when bored, and to be able to squeeze into a table for a meal after a tired day." Life is too long, there must always be someone to accompany, maybe this is the case. ”
In marriage, there is a little money, someone to accompany, with love, walking through the years together, this is probably what a happy life looks like.