People are anxious and like they are acting in their own TV series "Dear Child", finally the finale, Hehe's illness is cured, the relationship between Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu is also reconciled, and it is a happy ending.
When I watched this drama, I always had a question, why did Fang Yinuo live his marriage to the point where it is now? She and Xiao Lu's work is good, her mother-in-law can also be, and her family is also a well-off life, because after giving birth to a child, her life is "thin" by Fang Yinuo, in reality, many people's conditions are not as good as her, and they are also living well.
This inevitably makes people feel that married life is not good or not, although it is related to material conditions, but more importantly, it is related to people, fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu's marriage failure, is the real married life, but also to the audience to wake up, the second half of the marriage, many people see through these truths.
First, the marriage is not happy, first reflect on yourself
Fang Yinuo is really too sharp, her personality has obvious flaws, strong and sensitive, what she looks for, others don't think about changing.
Xiao Lu and Zhu Zhu's matter can completely give Xiao Lu a chance, if Xiao Lu's guarantee is a lie, and there is still a disconnect between Xiao Lu and Zhu Zhu, It is not too late for Fang Yinuo to cut the mess quickly. Fang Yinuo did not listen to Xiao Lu's explanation, and decided never to let Xiao Lu see Hehe, and could not let Hehe know that there was such a father as Xiao Lu.
On the other hand, Xiao Lu is also at fault, in addition to Zhu Zhu's matter, his sense of participation in raising children and family life is too weak, and people look at him as very careless, that is, Fang Yinuo's mouth does not love children and does not love this family.
When there is a problem in the marriage, both husband and wife are blaming each other for not understanding themselves, feeling that they are wronged, but never reflecting on their mistakes.
When you feel that your marriage is not happy, the most important thing to do is not to find faults in the other party, but to reflect on yourself, because it is more than ten times harder to change others than to change yourself.
When you are making changes, the family atmosphere will also change, and the other half will perceive that sometimes you don't need you to change him directly, and he himself will be influenced by you and taken by you to a positive and positive life direction.
After experiencing so many things, Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu were willing to admit their mistakes and bravely apologize to each other.
Xiao Lu said: "Today's situation is all because of me, it is because I have made mistakes for many years, so that everyone is so embarrassed now, I apologize to everyone." ”
If he had realized this in the first place and saved Fang Yinuo with more effort, he and Fang Yinuo would not have divorced.
Similarly, Fang Yinuo finally admitted that he was at fault in marriage: "I am a person, I have to be unreasonable, I can't rub sand in my eyes, all these years, what I have been thinking in my heart is that I absolutely have no contact with you, what can I do, there is no problem, I just think so, to this day I think I am not right... I'm sorry for you, Shaw. ”
Marriage failure, most of them are the reasons for two people, when you feel that the marriage is not happy, first find the reason from yourself, first change your own faults, and then think about asking each other to make changes
Second, children, always implicated
Hehe's conversation with Lao Su made a lot of people cry, Hehe said that she had two fathers, some children would never wake up again when they fell asleep, and their mothers didn't like Uncle Xiao... When the adults all felt that Hehe was in the dark, she had actually seen through everything long ago, but she chose to listen to the adults, because she loved the adults more than the adults loved her.
Fang Yinuo did not let Hehe know who her biological father was, she did so, saying that it was for Hehe's good, but in fact she only satisfied her self-esteem, and wanted to retaliate against Xiao Lu's "cheating" through Hehe.
After the divorce, do not let the other party see the child, the most hurt is the child, such a practice, just to make themselves feel refreshed, not good for everyone.
Fang Yinuo should tell Hehe the truth, the enmity between adults should not involve children, after divorce, as long as the two people have common children, don't want to do old and dead without contact.
When a child grows up, instinctive blood kinship will make you long for your own biological parents. When Hehe grows up, she will definitely go to her biological father, and if Fang Yinuo tells her the truth generously, I think it is better for her children.
Fang Yinuo later truly realized that it was a good thing to have one more person to love children, even if it was divorced, Xiao Lu's kindness to Hehe was true, and Gao Caiping's miss for his granddaughter was also true. Husband and wife divorce, even if they can't be friends, but for the sake of children, don't say bad things about each other, and don't make too ugly.
Because in the child's heart, the unhappiness of the family is self-inflicted.
Third and second marriages are hardly better than one
The first marriage failed, and the second marriage was better than the first marriage, which was more difficult.
"If I divorce you, I will definitely be able to find someone better than you, and I will be better than you." Many people leave with such fantasies when they divorce, and some people will choose a person who looks better than their ex to marry in order to prove this, in fact, the married life is often not as good as before.
If a marriage fails, it means that you personally have problems in running a marriage, otherwise you will not divorce. If you take the child, or give the child to the other party, the child will always become your concern, in the second marriage, there are many contradictions because of the protection of the child, so the second marriage will be more difficult.
After Xie Tianhua learned that Fang Yinuo was pregnant, he personally ran to the doctor to report in order to keep his child. This matter was known to Hehe, she said that after having a brother, Xie Tianhua was no longer so happy to see her, she did not understand why she knew that she would die after reporting, Xie Tianhua still had to report?
I think this matter will always be hidden in Hehe's heart, she should start to understand the biological and non-biological children, after all, it is not the same, Xie Tianhua still loves her own children more.
The second marriage is difficult, the difficulty lies in the children. Many people divorce and stop getting married for the sake of their children. Some people still choose to get married for the sake of their children, because they do not have the ability to support their children, when you do not have the ability to support yourself and your children, remarrying with children is a two-person sender fence.
Fourth, the marriage experience of parents is sometimes a "pit"
Fang Yinuo's personality has become so strong, and the reason for her mother is very large, and the marriage guidance given to her by her mother has no effect and has a counterproductive effect.
When the divorce occurred, Fang Yinuo's mother did not adjust in time, Gao Caiping took Xiao Lu to apologize, and Fang Yinuo's parents did not let their daughter come out to talk, which was to add fuel to the fire. In addition, Fang Yinuo's mother did not let Xiao Lu see Hehe, and during Hehe's hospitalization, she was still prejudiced against the Xiao family, and when she saw them coming, her face was full of disgust.
When the marriage encounters problems, the old man helps to reconcile is right, some of the old man's marriage experience is a "pit", Fang Yinuo is pit by her mother, let her with hatred, complained about Xiao Lu for so long.
Dong Fan's parents are obviously much better than Fang Yinuo's parents, when Dong Fan encountered marriage problems, her parents were very rational to help analyze and solve the puzzle, and finally Dong Fan truly understood Xiao Lu, Xiao Lu's feelings for Dong Fan were further deepened, and the feelings of the two people not only did not break, but became better.
When you feel that your parents' advice is wrong, don't listen to them, because some marriages are mixed up and scattered by the elderly.
A perfect marriage is only a symptom
Today's young people attach great importance to self-feelings, they feel comfortable, it does not matter whether others are comfortable or not, and some marriages of "poisonous chicken soup" can really stop.
Fang Yinuo's expectation of marriage is a perfect state, she thinks that she does not need to point it out by herself, Xiao Lu can understand her, things can be done in her heart, in reality, how many people can do it?
Perfect marriages, rarely, most marriages, are in the middle of the chicken, find the most harmonious way for both parties to get along.
Every time I see the internet celebrity model husband on the Internet, and then look at the one next to me, I can't wait to change it immediately, and I deserve better; and I see the Internet celebrity mother-in-law, and I start to chagrin at how I put on such a superb mother-in-law; I see other people's wives, who can make money to support their families, but also look beautiful, see their wives only with children, and jump all day long.
What I want to tell my friends is that there is a difficult scripture in the family, everyone will want face, have a heart to compare, not to mention the model couple on the Internet, have a goal, and should accept the reality.
When you encounter some misfortune in your marriage, you should find a way to solve it, not think that it is because of your bad luck that you have not met a good person.
Marriages are mostly similar, because when they get married, both parties feel satisfied before they get married, and as for what it is like, it is really a matter of personal ability.
Sixth, to run a married life is to reconcile with yourself
Fang Yinuo's first marriage was not happy because she twisted in her own heart and competed with herself, so she did not look at anyone well. When she was married for the second time, she was no longer so stubborn, Xie Dan's repeated provocations, she would laugh over, Xie Tianhua reported herself, she would look at it differently, knowing that it was because he cared about his children.
Many things, originally not black and white, marriage is the same, you can not ask your husband to love you wholeheartedly, you should also allow him to love himself, he can fight for himself, argue with you, does not mean that he does not love you now.
Learn to tolerate others, but also tolerate yourself, when your own heart is not so screwed, many things will not be done.
Actor Haiqing said: "Loving yourself is not good for yourself, but accepting yourself from the bottom of your heart." "I think marriage is the same, accepting the imperfection of married life is really good for marriage." If you've always felt that this marriage is not good, then you will never find its advantages, only its shortcomings.
Fang Yinuo is like this, when she really loves herself, it is she who learns to accept herself, she admits her mistake, dares to face the truest self, she apologizes to Xiao Lu, in fact, she is reconciling with herself.
At last:
After watching this drama, many people say that they will be afraid of marriage, and I think on the contrary, marriage is not terrible, because this is the most real married life.
Many people's marriage is from high expectations to low requirements of the process, the beginning of the marriage expectations are too high, after marriage will make you feel disappointed, when you recognize the essence of marriage, you will no longer be bothered by those small things.
In the past, the divorce rate was low because they felt that things were broken and could be repaired, but now the divorce rate is high, because many people think that things should be changed if they are broken.
If you can't recognize the truth of marriage and have always had the illusion of a perfect marriage, then who you marry will be very tired.
Author: Muzi