If you had to ask yourself, when will you realize that you are middle-aged? My answer is: one day, more and more people around me began to complain about marriage, lamenting that "I really regret marrying him" and "I knew I wouldn't marry her.". Choosing marriage is important, and running a marriage is even more important.
Marriage is the mirror of love, especially lovers who have walked through love together, couples who hold unlimited reverie about marriage, in less than two years, they will be photographed by married life, and then there are all kinds of regrets. So I thought of divorce, thinking that changing a person would have a different world, and even some people felt that changing partners was no different from changing jobs. However, the work is not satisfactory, change an environment to continue to struggle, this is normal, but the change of partner this kind of thing, and the change of work can not be compared.
Divorce means the breakdown of the family, involving the division of property, child support, means that many years of feelings are in vain, not a simple divorce procedure, and then another partner, you can be happy for a lifetime.
When a relationship fails, we are often accustomed to pushing the reason to the other party or even boiling it down to one reason: it is that the person is not good, the person is not right.
Then use "if it was" as the ending, to give yourself unlimited imagination space, as if another choice, is the correct answer, at least not worse than now. When I was chatting with my girlfriend a while ago, my girlfriend told me about yu Qian, a college roommate. Yu Qian got married after graduating from college, and after marriage, she had two children, a son and a daughter, which sounded very enviable. She and her husband went out to work, so they left their children at home to live with her in-laws.
The in-laws brought the children well, but she and her husband did not live a good life, quarreled at both ends for three days, brought emotions to the company, and even the unit leaders sometimes had to help regulate. Yu Qian and her husband were in love in their freshman year, her husband's family was not so good, yu Qian's parents did not agree to their marriage, but it was not enough for Yu Qian.
Well, after a few years of marriage, the children have two, and the two people are divorcing. Yu Qian insisted that after the divorce, she would find a good marriage, and no matter how bad it was, it would be stronger than this. In the end, the two divorced in anger, and the child followed her ex-husband. In less than half a year, Yu Qian found a man who was also divorced, and the two people looked at each other and got married hastily. However, Yu Qian, who was married in the second marriage, was not happy. The in-laws are strong, and the housework is left to Yu Qian alone, and even says that Yu Qian is not filial to them. Her husband, on the other hand, was partial to her parents, quarreled at both ends for three days, and even beat her. In the first marriage, the in-laws were very good to Akane, although they often quarreled with their ex-husbands, but they never did anything.
Yu Qian regretted it, but everything could not go back.
Marriage problems, in fact, is not terrible, the terrible thing is to accuse and complain, wait until you can't insist on divorce, only to find that you have changed someone to get married, enter the second marriage, and find that it is not the kind you want. Then regret, want to go back to the original life, but find that everything can not go back. One of the biggest weaknesses of people is that they will always feel that the new must be better than the old! But it turns out that marriage is not, marriage is like wine, the older the more fragrant the more flavorful.
In fact, whether marriage can be happy or not depends on how you look at and manage it. No one is perfect, more or less flawed, and it's hard to find someone who fits your ideals perfectly. Even if there is, you will argue because of differences in personality, habits, three views, and so on.
When Clinton was president, once, taking his wife Hillary to the countryside, the car broke down, found a nearby repair point, the owner of the repair shop happened to be Hillary's ex-boyfriend, on the way back, Clinton joked: "If you don't marry me, you are now the repairman's wife." Hillary said, "If I marry him, now he's president." ”
It can be seen from this story that the happiness of marriage never comes from others, but from ourselves.
If you're a woman who has the ability to make yourself happy, then you'll be happy no matter who you marry; if you're a woman who doesn't have the ability to make yourself happy, then whoever you marry won't be happy. In other words: happiness is not a feeling, but an ability; happiness comes not from others, but from oneself.
Only by changing your own behavior patterns and thought patterns can you manage a good relationship. Otherwise, even if you change more partners, you can't really feel happy. A good marriage needs to cultivate the responsibility and ability of both parties to face problems together. Marriage problems, not terrible, terrible is to accuse, complain, arbitrarily vent emotions, wait until you can't hold on to divorce, only to find that you changed a partner, into the second marriage, in fact, not the kind you think, and then regret want to return to the original life, but the other half does not dare to re-accept. A truly happy marriage is not that no matter how rich and powerful, but that they appreciate each other, stand side by side, and look at the vicissitudes of the sea together. Therefore, do not give up your family and lover easily, and do not hold the psychology of luck and start a second marriage casually.
If you can, my dear, cherish the lovers around you.