Should I continue to talk to a blind date who can't chat?

Netizens asked:

I met my blind date through a relative's introduction. The man's only son, the family's economic conditions are good, his family is also very sincere to me, the first time to the New Year to give a big red envelope (in ten thousands), and my parents said that the garage has been prepared. Usually, his parents will also send me some couriers to show their concern. Because our hometown is a place, I inquired and learned that the man's family has a good reputation. Now that they have known each other for 8 months, the man's parents want to be engaged this year.

But because of the epidemic and some personal reasons of the man, we are one Suzhou and one Hangzhou, so we rarely see each other, and we have only seen two faces in total.

Usually it is mainly WeChat chat, but the boy's personality is relatively withdrawn, belongs to the very introverted, will not get along with the people. Usually only say good morning and good night. Share a favorite song with him, he will seriously comment on the rhythm of the song, the background tone, and then conclude that the song is not good, such events are more. Not only is it shocking, but the topic cannot be continued. When he knew that what he said made me unhappy, he would not coax me to persuade me, but would only tell me to sleep, and said that letting me sleep was to distract me, and the next day, like no one else, continued to send me good morning.

He always said he had tried his best and asked him how he tried his best. He said that he tried his best to chat with me every day, and usually didn't talk much with others. Sometimes I would try to communicate with him and he told me that he wasn't actively trying to go on a blind date, it was his parents who made him come. The things I said to him, he couldn't change and wasn't used to (what I wasn't used to here was that I let him call me and chat when he was okay). In addition, he also said that he is him, he is originally that kind of person, he is pursuing to be himself (original), please ask me to continue to communicate with him and betrothed?

My answer:

His family's economic conditions are good, the garage is ready, the second old man is reasonable and sincere to the woman, your hometown is in the same place, and his family reputation is good... Such excellent conditions may have already dumped hundreds of potential competitors around you.

However, with such good conditions, why is he still single so far? Why is it your turn?

The problem, of course, is his character. But my advice to you is to accept what you can and try to accept if you can't.

Even if it is free love, the probability of love at first sight is not high, not to mention that it is a blind date, which is so easy to like him, fall in love at a glance, this life and so on is him... Too hard.

Blind date, first look at the conditions, the conditions are similar, feel satisfied, or acceptable, and then look at people; conditions can not enter your eyes, people you are too lazy to look at more.

So congratulations, his first hurdle is over. Let's see what you want.

"Boys have a more withdrawn personality, belong to very introverted people, and can't get along." Good, not good. It is because of his personality that his family's economic conditions are so good that he can still reach today, if he can speak the truth, he will let others snatch away; not good, it may not be able to get your favor.

If you want to find the other half is: chat with you all day long for a few hours without getting tired, saying something flirtatious at any time to coax you, saying what you say, he can all pick up, making you feel that chatting with him is simply happy to the point where you can eat or sleep without eating or sleeping... Then this person you directly refused, hurry to meet the next one.

Because he can never do it, he may not even be able to provide one-tenth of the emotional value you want.

If you are not so good at chatting and need your other half to have a basic level of communication, then you can cultivate this person a little more.

But it may require you to take the initiative to open the topic and try to guide him to make changes, rather than passively waiting for him to find you. But even if you want to develop his basic communication skills, I am afraid it will take a long time, and it may not meet your expectations.

But combined with his family's financial conditions, you can make appropriate concessions. After all, no one is perfect, and the good things in the world cannot be occupied by anyone. You still need to weigh the pros and cons yourself, understanding that you may have to lose some while gaining some.

"Share a favorite song with him, he will seriously comment on the rhythm of the song, the background tone, and then conclude that the song is not good, there are more such incidents, not only hit people, but also the topic can not continue." This sentence I think is quite interesting, what you understand may be: he is different from your hobbies, taste is different, you are worried about the three views are also different; his comments make you feel tasteless, not what you want to hear, and hit you, make you angry and angry and can not find a point to vent, in short, it makes you feel depressed, uncomfortable, not smooth; think that he can always talk about the sky to death, you do not know if you will be driven crazy by him one day.

But I felt it from this sentence: he was really trying to cater to your topic, put in the effort to think about it, and gave his feelings. He did not perfunctoryally say oh very good, but also summarized the specific analysis, which not only showed his sincere attitude, but also expressed his ideas, and he worked hard to learn how to communicate with you. But the effect may not be what you expected.

Of course, many things do not mean that you will definitely be able to do it right if you try to do it. He tried hard and couldn't meet your requirements, which was frustrating on the other hand, and frustrating for both of you.

If you are really married in the future, there may be many problems in life that will face such a situation. There will be all kinds of problems in your communication. Of course, if he is always an indifferent attitude, it is okay for you to decide everything in the family, if you like it.

"When he knew that what he said made me unhappy, he would not coax me to persuade me, but would only tell me to sleep, and the name of letting me sleep was to divert my attention, and the next day he continued to send me good morning like no one else." A lot of men do the same, don't comment. Even a man I know who is excellent in every way is like this, and I often secretly laugh at his low emotional intelligence.

"He always said he had tried his best and asked him how he tried his best? He said that he tried his best to chat with me every day, and usually didn't talk much with others. I believed him. There is a kind of man who is really like this, and may not have to speak for a day. I think he really tried his best for you.

"He told me that he didn't actively want to go on a blind date, it was his parents who let him come. The things I said to him, he couldn't change and wasn't used to (what I wasn't used to here was that I let him call me and chat when he was okay). In addition, he also said that he was him, that he was originally that kind of person, and that he was after being himself. "He is quite realistic, I think many people do not want to go on a blind date, basically forced by reality or the pressure of their parents." Don't mind that. The main thing is that he doesn't like to chat and doesn't want to call you to chat. This is the reason for his personality, it is difficult to change, and the maximum concession he can make may be that you say, he listens, and responds to something that you may not be satisfied with.

Now you may be entangled in the fact that his family conditions are very good and suitable for marriage, but you can't accept that he won't chat, and you don't know if he can be enthusiastic in the future, at least let you feel that he is eager to be with you and actively coax you.

I don't think there is a play, and he will probably be like this in his life. For any girl, I don't think he will have a state of hitting chicken blood, no matter how much he likes it, he will not. Because he's not that kind of person.

In summary, if you regard chatting as an important part of your life, stop the loss in time. If you feel that there is no hard and fast rule, then contact it more, after all, because the actual conditions do not allow it, you can't meet and understand more, don't give up easily.

Maybe after meeting, I found that two people went shopping together, read books, punched in the Internet celebrity shop, took photos, cultivated common interests, and implemented to understand a person, in order to find his shining point.

This has to wait for the opportunity, for now you still have to maintain a chat state on WeChat. You can lower your requirements for him, put your mind at ease, talk more, find more topics, and don't expect too much from a person who is not good at words.

If after a while you weigh the pros and cons and still feel that you don't like this state very much, and how good his family conditions are, you are not rare, then give up.