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Recently, a female friend approached me and told me she was upset.
This friend is married and has her own children, and she and her husband are in the same unit, commuting together every day.
Recently, this friend met a "younger brother" on a social networking app, and she fell in love with this little handsome guy at first sight.
This friend knows that this is not right, the two people are very different in age, it is impossible to be together, and she and her husband are living happily.
However, she had a hard time controlling herself, and her heart was very entangled.
So he told me about it.
In fact, many married people often encounter such things, so in the face of this kind of "true love", how should we solve it?
These four truths must be known, and they cannot be wrong.
1, love at first sight is not love, but face
There is no one in this world who loves at first sight, and it is impossible to love at the first sight.
When we meet a person, we tend to feel good about the person's appearance.
However, this kind of good look is not love, just a simple love for beautiful things.
For example, many people like to appreciate blooming flowers, but people who appreciate flowers do not necessarily like flowers.
What does that mean? If we like flowers, we don't have to raise flowers, we just need to find blooming flowers to appreciate.
The person who really loves flowers is not only admiring flowers, but also a master gardener.
Therefore, we must clearly distinguish between like and love.
Like is our yearning for beautiful things, such as some people like beautiful scenery, some people like food, and some people like handsome men and beautiful women.
What is love, love is the sublimation of liking, loving a person is not only to like the advantages of this person, but also to tolerate the shortcomings of this person.
And like is not as inclusive as love.
Therefore, we must clearly distinguish between like and love, the word love is far heavier than like, love requires more responsibility and pay.
2, we can like flowers, but there is no need to pick them
The flowers in the park, beautiful. We can enjoy it at will, but we can't pick it at will.
Like is not possessive, but blessed; like is not to get, but to help and take care of, to like a person, a thing, or a thing, but there is no need to make them our private.
Just like feelings, marriage is precious and selfish, and if we have already made a choice, we cannot be half-hearted.
Because you like a person, you must respect a person; because you like a person, you must understand your situation better and understand whether two people are suitable.
If it is not appropriate, why hurt a person who has a good feeling for him in the name of love, and it will hurt his other half even more.
3. Learn to divert your attention
The biggest difference between humans and animals is not whether they make tools or not, but that we have higher moral codes.
When we get married, if we meet someone who makes us feel good, then we should restrain ourselves from the moral level, rather than letting our feelings go.
After getting married, this female friend thinks that she has encountered "love at first sight", and she also understands that it is not appropriate, but it is difficult to give up, what to do?
Learn to divert attention.
The first way to do this is to keep yourself busy, to focus on your children and your family, to give yourself no time to think about these things, to keep yourself from paying too much attention to them.
Time is the best doctor, and over time, this feeling will slowly disappear until it is forgotten.
The second way is to turn "love at first sight" into family affection, many people say that marriage is the graveyard of love, why say this, it is precisely because love has become family affection.
For "love at first sight", this can also be the case, and having a younger brother or sister is actually a solution.
And with the in-depth understanding, I believe that this friend will soon find that "love at first sight" is not very reliable.
Why? Because of the beautiful port, there will be harsh noise when it is close.
Strangers who do not have a deep understanding will establish an image that they think they think simply by their looks, but as they understand and contact, they will find that this person is not what they imagined.
"Love at first sight" naturally disintegrated.
4. Learn to think differently
When this female friend confided in me again, I asked a question: If your husband met a young opposite sex and fell in love at first sight, would you accept it?
The female friend replied flatly: No.
Yeah, since we can't accept that our other half likes others, how can we bear to impose the whole thing on our other half?
And being married for many years shows that she and her husband have feelings, and how can she hurt such a person with her hands after so many years of feelings.
Whether it is marriage or family, we need to think differently and do not do to others what we do not want.
Xiaoyuan's message: In the vast sea of people, we will inevitably encounter people who have good feelings, but we must clearly distinguish between likes and loves, we must remember family and responsibility, in marriage changes, the most hurt is often not the husband and wife, but the children.
Topic: What do you think of "true love" outside of marriage?
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