When married, the bride price and dowry are not exactly equal.
I don't know, from when, if two new people want to get married, the man must prepare a bride price, and the amount of the bride price must be at least the same as the local minimum standard, and the more the merrier.
But no matter what the local requirements for the bride price are, there is no standard for the dowry, and even whether there is or not.
My family can't get a dowry!
Xiao Han and Lulu knew each other when they first went to college, and both of them came from a rural area in northern Shaanxi, and they were also hard-won compatriots in foreign universities where they were not familiar with life.
And the two people did not know each other for a long time to determine the relationship, in addition to learning to help each other, in terms of lifestyle and three views can maintain a high degree of consistency, after all, are farmers' children.
After four years of love run in college, the two people decided to go further after graduating from college, and they returned to their respective homes to discuss with their parents, who felt that this was a good thing and began to prepare.
But just before the parents of the two sides officially met, Lulu said to Xiaohan: Our family wants 100,000 dowry money, which is used to renovate the house for my family, and after we get married, this money will not be taken back. Moreover, my family has recently encountered some things that cannot get the dowry.
Hearing such words, Xiao Han naturally did not have any ideas, after all, he felt that marriage was a matter for two people, whether there was a dowry or not did not matter, and later life still needed to work hard for each other.
But when Xiao Han's parents learned of this situation, they became very sad, on the one hand, because the family first gave themselves a dismount to declare their sovereignty. On the other hand, after the two children get married, they will start from scratch and enjoy less than a little family preferential resources.
Alpaca mom has something to say:
For this situation, if you have to seek a fairness, the man can naturally refuse the marriage, after all, the woman's various requests are a bit excessive.
However, most men will choose to endure again and again when they encounter similar situations, after all, no place will stipulate that a woman must provide a dowry when she marries, even if there is no, it is not surprising, if there is, the specific amount is also determined according to the woman's own family situation.
At this point, it really seems a little unfair, is this the biggest difference between boys and girls? Even if you can't accept it, what can you do? This is what the current social norm requires.
The bride price of the married man is natural, why can the woman's dowry be given or not?
The ratio of men to women is unbalanced, and many boys cannot get a daughter-in-law
Today, the norm is the imbalance between men and women, perhaps because of the legacy of the historical background, when most people preferred sons to daughters, resulting in a sharp rise in the number of boys.
In this way, the serious imbalance between men and women leads to a very precious number of girls, which will promote their own sense of superiority, just like the ugly girls can marry out, and the most handsome boys will beat the bare sticks.
So no matter which way, if you get a chance to fall in love, the boys must grasp it well, and they can't fly the cooked duck, especially when the parents of the two parties discuss the bride price before marriage.
Highlight the importance that the in-laws attach to their daughters-in-law
Many women will use the dowry money they receive as a measure to measure the importance that the in-laws attach to themselves, if it is only an average standard, it means that there is no status in the norms. If it is higher than the average standard, it can be judged that the state attaches great importance to and expects the daughter-in-law.
But the dowry money does not have this artificial definition, the amount of money can not represent anything, the amount of money can not represent the woman's emphasis on the son-in-law, and the lack of money can not represent the woman's contempt for the son-in-law.
Marry out the daughter, spill out the water
As the saying goes: the daughter who marries out spills water, and after the daughter gets married, she becomes a family in-law, whether it is enjoying the glory and wealth, or being wronged, the mother's family will not impose interference, so that the parents will give everything to prepare the dowry for the daughter will also be regarded as a loss-making business.
Today's summary:
Do you think there must be a bride price and a dowry to get married? What should I do if I can't talk about it? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!