Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is a social relationship.
Get along well, the feelings are harmonious, the family is happy and harmonious, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, not only is the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law stiff, but also affects the feelings of the husband and wife.
The day after tomorrow, a fan left a message, asking: "My daughter-in-law is 7 months pregnant, my son proposed to let me take my grandson, I have high blood sugar, irritability, and I don't know how to cook, I am very worried that I will not handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, do you think I should agree?" ”
To tell you the truth, there is really no standard answer to this question, I specifically asked a few aunts around me, their experiences may be of reference to you.
1, Grandma Liu, with 2 grandchildren, sons filial piety
Grandma Liu said: "It's really tiring to take the child, but fortunately, my son and daughter-in-law are considerate, and I don't have any regrets." ”
After the son got married, he lived in the provincial city, both of whom had jobs, and after his daughter-in-law became pregnant, he offered to let me help.
Grandma Liu directly agreed, she and her wife and children have retired, feel that idle at home is also idle, so they meet together to take the baby. And in the neighborhood where my son lived, I rented a suite.
Although it costs more money, but Grandma Liu considers the distance to produce beauty, if you live with your son and daughter-in-law every day, there will inevitably be contradictions, and then the son is sandwiched between the two ends of the embarrassment, and this also has an advantage, that is, the old two are not separated.
Before the birth of her grandson, Grandma Liu also learned to make confinement meals, she pays attention to nutritional balance for three meals a day, and she has patience with her children, she takes care of her daughter-in-law and grandchildren during the day, and returns to her home at night.
After the daughter-in-law goes to work, she will take the child to her own house, when the sun is good, she will take the child downstairs to bask in the sun and play games, because Grandma Liu loves to read, she also pays attention to the education of the child, usually tells stories to the child, and will also teach the child how to be polite.
The grandson is more than 3 years old, the daughter-in-law is pregnant with the second child, still let Grandma Liu help take care of the child, she has to take care of 2 children at once, really tired, with the old partner and children clear division of labor, one person cleaning, one person to take care of the little granddaughter throughout the process.
In those months, Grandma Liu did not rest well, her white hair grew a lot, and people were also emaciated, but fortunately, her daughter-in-law was sensible, and she took care of her children at home as soon as she had time, and the family worked together, and her grandchildren had already studied.
Liu mother-in-law found tumors during physical examination, during hospitalization and surgery, the daughter-in-law deliberately took a week off, accompanied by the bedside care, so that people in the same ward were envious, Liu mother-in-law did not regret to take the child, felt that the relationship is mutual, you need to do your best when the daughter-in-law needs, in order to get the approval of the other party.
2, Wang's mother-in-law, with the eldest granddaughter, the son and daughter-in-law did not return home for 2 years
Grandma Wang said: "My granddaughter was brought up by me, and she has a good feeling for me, but my son and daughter-in-law are not grateful and say that I am unfair to them." ”
Grandma Wang has a son and a daughter, both of whom are married, and the daughter is now having a child, and because she is sick, she calls me to help take care of the confinement, and I pack up my things.
Lived there for half a year, the daughter-in-law is also pregnant, the son called me to let me go, the daughter means to let me live for another 3 months, anyway, the daughter-in-law's child has not been born, she can not affect the work, but the son lost his temper and felt that I should put the daughter-in-law first.
In order to avoid contradictions, I left my daughter's house to take care of my pregnant daughter-in-law, since I went to my son's house, I took money to buy vegetables and daily necessities, my son and daughter-in-law were only responsible for eating, and also required me to wash my clothes by hand, vegetables to buy organic, I had to spend more than 3,000 a month pension, but also to take out the savings to subsidize.
Originally thought that after the birth of the grandson, you can take a year, I will not say anything, after all, is my own child, but after the birth of the grandson, the son let me buy a crib, gold peanuts, silver collar, these are also counted, as well as the child's milk powder and diapers have to have me to buy.
In this way, my money is spent like water, there is really not much, once I told my son that my money is not much, the child's cost let him take some money, I can help with the child, but not all inclusive.
As a result, my son lost his temper and scolded me: "Who are you going to leave your money to?" Isn't it all mine? If I ran out of savings, I would sell my old house, and I wouldn't go back to my hometown anyway. ”
Listening to his words, I felt cold, for the ungrateful person, your efforts are taken for granted, if one day does not meet his expectations, then even if it offends him, he may find a reason not to support you.
After thinking about it, Grandma Wang said that she would find an opportunity to return to her hometown, she had fulfilled her responsibility, and she also wanted to live for herself once, and the road ahead, she would be happy to live every day.
3, the grandmother-in-law, to the money without grandchildren, and daughter-in-law respect as a guest
The grandmother-in-law said: "I did not bring my grandson, but I found a sister-in-law and a nanny for my daughter-in-law, the cost is all out of me, and the family relationship is still harmonious." ”
Grandma Sun is a technician of the unit, after she retired, she received re-employment from the unit, considering that she did not like to be idle, she agreed.
When the embarrassing thing comes, the daughter-in-law gives birth to a child, is it her own resignation or the daughter-in-law's abandonment of her job? In terms of income, her salary is higher, but the young people's careers are longer-term, and if they only think about themselves, they are too selfish.
Thinking about it, she found a way to have the best of both worlds, that is, to find a sister-in-law for her daughter-in-law, she asked someone in advance to inquire, found a sister-in-law with a good reputation, and after work, she would also run to see her daughter-in-law.
Of course, all the expenses are covered by the grandmother-in-law, and she also told her daughter-in-law that as long as she wants to go to work, she can go, find a good nanny after the full moon, and then let the child's grandfather watch at home, you can ensure that the child is well taken care of.
Because the grandmother-in-law encounters things, she will consult with the daughter-in-law in advance, and arrange things well, the daughter-in-law has nothing to say, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also very good.
When the child is older, the grandmother-in-law did not urge the daughter-in-law to have a second child, but respected her ideas, if the daughter-in-law wants, she will fully support, if not and do not ask, there is time, she and her wife to the suburbs to play, looking at her dashing circle of friends, even the daughter-in-law sighed: "My mother-in-law's life, is what I dream of." ”
Write at the back:
In fact, bringing grandchildren and not having grandchildren has no essential relationship with whether children will be filial piety or not.
The relationship between the son and the parents is also related to the usual getting along, parents should have a sense of proportion to their children, teach the son to support himself, and learn to quit each other's life a little bit after the son grows up.
Go to your son's home, don't point fingers, but respect the daughter-in-law's thinking, after all, the daughter-in-law of a small family is the hostess.
Young people's life is stressful, it is not easy to balance work and family, personally believe that the mother-in-law still has to try to help, of course, your efforts are from the heart, rather than asking each other to reciprocate.
When the sons and daughters-in-law have a stable small family, they will also know how to repay their parents, because people's hearts are mutual, and their efforts are also in their eyes.
Give it a thumbs up and go! I wonder if my mother-in-law should help with her grandchildren? Welcome to share your opinion~