When you are young, you are always nagged by the elders: to find a partner, you must find a "door to the door", don't climb high, don't go low.
But there are a few people who can listen to this kind of nagging, and have long been brainwashed by the cross-class love of slum girls marrying rich second generations and falling talents marrying thousands of gold in TV dramas.
Such love is either nothing, or too little, and the world's hard-to-find love will make you tear up!
In recent years, more and more screenwriters have begun to engage in realistic themes, and the chickens and dogs in life, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, like peeled onion heads, are so hot that I cry.
It is no longer touching and envious, but finding empathy in a chicken feather.
Most elders want their children to be right because they don't want to cause trouble and get along with their families.
An asymmetrical marriage is really hard.
But it's not impossible.
In marriages where women are strong and men are weak, the key to happiness lies in men
Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei of "In the World", the love that Gou Fugui did not forget, still suffered from the gap from the class, and the father-in-law and mother-in-law avoided suspicion and did not interact with the family, which made Zhou Father sad.
Fortunately, the two sons can understand each other, and they benefit from the open-mindedness of the Zhou family and the high emotional intelligence of Zhou Bingyi.
Looking at "Heart Residence" again, Gu Xin married the only daughter of a high-ranking family, which should have been a high-climbing family affair, Gu Xin did not know how to cherish, and Gu Mother did not know how to measure up.
Later, when he encountered the difficulties of his relatives, he had to make even more progress, and his son was accustomed to not speaking, only when the daughter-in-law was a grass, and he attached himself to the family.
A good marriage, in the end to divorce, is the woman's family too arrogant and domineering?
Yes and no.
In both cases, the woman's family is very high and looks down on the man's family.
But since the marriage of the two sons was approved, it was natural for the sake of the daughter, and the material conditions would be given the best.
The parents of the people the daughter likes are not easy to block, as long as the son-in-law is self-motivated and caring, the elders will not be too demanding.
Why do the two examples have different results, and it is actually men who play a key role.
If Gu Xin reconciled the contradictions between the two families from it, and let his mother not be too targeted at his daughter-in-law, his father-in-law and mother-in-law would naturally have more trust and tolerance for him.
But every time a mother belittled her daughter-in-law and her parents, he mostly ignored them.
Ge Yue complained once, Gu Xin replied negatively: Then she is an elder, she is my mother, what she says, what can I do.
Thanks to the father-in-law's big pattern, he taught his daughter to say this: Others are good to you, you can get by, others are not good for you, you can also get by, this is the skill.
The more people in the family understand, the fewer worries.
As the male master of the new family, he cannot rely entirely on the elders to mediate conflicts, and his daughter-in-law hurts herself, and the elders cannot find too many mistakes.
What's more, fathers-in-law and mother-in-law treat their son-in-law as half a son. On the contrary, many in-laws always regard their daughters-in-law as outsiders (refer to Feng Xiaoqin's marriage in the play).
Then again, Gu Xin did not really like Ge Yue, from beginning to end he was an egoist, on the one hand, with the help of his father-in-law's identity to mix in the unit to a good position, on the other hand, he allowed his mother to target Ge Yue.
Ge Yue was just a tool man on his road to fame and fortune.
Once his father-in-law fell into trouble, his cold and selfish nature was revealed, and he even wanted to file for divorce during his wife's pregnancy!
It was hard to resist the idea of divorce, the child was born, and he had a non-divided thought about Feng Xiaoqin's sister.
Deliberately creating a solitary environment, lonely men and widows drinking and chatting, what will happen later, it is self-evident.
Scumbags and scumbags get together, it's really amazing.
In the drama "Heart Residence", it is not only Gu Xin and Ge Yue, a couple with unequal family circumstances.
Gu Qingyu's poverty alleviation marriage is also a sight to behold.
Why true love can't be worth an unequal marriage
If Gu Xin will have the end of marriage breakdown because he does not love Ge Yue enough, then Shi Yuan is sincere enough with Gu Qingyu.
He secretly worked part-time to earn money, worked day and night, and just wanted to catch up with Gu Qingyu's footsteps.
At work, he really works hard, emotional intelligence, and also cares about Gu Qingyu's feelings. They share common interests and appreciate each other.
It is also the hazy feelings that I had had when I was young, and I am like white moonlight in each other.
Such love should be enviable.
But...... Feng Shaofeng and Tong Yao acted so well that I couldn't see a little love in them.
All that is felt is the oppressive atmosphere everywhere.
Obviously, the two people are truly in love with each other, and every word they say must be careful, for fear of stepping on each other's self-esteem bottom line. Can't be honest, can't be one with each other, this is the source of repression.
Originally, the starting line of the two people was similar, and Shi Yuan had better conditions than hers. Dragged down by the family, only one step wrong step at a time, the former high-quality students failed in the college entrance examination, fell into being a tour guide, and also part-time fake marriage this kind of business.
After a few decades of absence, when goodbye, one is Bai Fumei, a female elite with an annual salary of several millions, and the other is an ordinary citizen who can only earn a fraction of her from multiple part-time jobs.
With the filter of the white moonlight when he was a teenager, Gu Qingyu's head fainted, and he and Shi Yuan flashed marriage. He persuaded the man to move into his newly purchased luxury mansion and began a happy life after marriage.
However, their love may only touch themselves, and the audience in front of the screen feels that there is something wrong everywhere: he has obviously worked so hard, why does he still feel that he is eating soft rice?
If you feel that you are eating soft rice, then eat it well, and Zhi En Tu will double down on pity.
You have to separate you and me, and make a fuss like the partner AA system.
In order to take care of his self-esteem, Gu Qingyu secretly entrusted someone to buy the antique piano he sold, almost causing a conflict;
Knowing that the mother-in-law needs to change the kidney, contacting the kidney source does not say that he colluded with the doctor to say that all the expenses are sponsored by the charity, and as a result, Shi Yuan knew the truth, not gratitude, but anger.
The mother-in-law, who has just changed her kidney to live for many more years, even shouted angrily: I want to know that the money for the kidney replacement is given by her, I would rather wait for death!
You see, is this old woman still speaking human language?
Where does anger come from? Mother and son are in the same line of purity and poor self-esteem.
The mother-in-law used to be the thousands of gold of a large family, no matter how difficult the days were, she also insisted on keeping her big bridesmaids.
Gu Qingyu went to her house for the first time, and her mother-in-law used the old tea set to come to a set of skillful tea cooking skills, but unfortunately the object was too stingy and shabby, and she barely retained qinggao and pride, in the eyes of others, like a joke.
The new daughter-in-law had to laugh and praise in embarrassment, she was already very restrained and decent.
After all, life is their own life, do not live with the mother-in-law, these embarrassments can be a little less, so the harmony or not lies in the man.
Who expected that the two-person world in the mansion still could not escape the curse of money.
Shi Yuan is negative and inferior, while being instilled by his mother that the children of large families must be tough, while facing the current poverty and hardship, and the huge gap with their partners.
If he is willing to really calm his mind and not dwell on that little bit of self-esteem, he will not have these many troubles.
The money to treat his mother can give Gu Qingyu an IOU. Work hard and pay it off slowly, isn't everyone happy? Why should someone save your mother be like killing your mother?
As for the huge amount of money owed more than 1 million, it is not good to borrow from Gu Qingyu, and you have to repay it yourself. Otherwise, it is really a pro-poor marriage.
The light and the heavy are not clear, and the pattern of this man is like this, it is obvious that the two of them cannot go to the end.
No matter how deeply you love, the prejudice against the portal is the crux of the failure of the marriage.
Gu Qingyu is not completely without mistakes, self-righteous, and refusing to consult with his partner on everything is committing a marriage taboo. She felt that she was secretly helping, but in the eyes of the man, she was a charity from above.
In addition, the man's self-esteem is particularly strong, and it is not clear which is lighter and which is heavier... The white moonlight of each other will eventually become the white rice grains hanging on the lips.
Live your own life and care what others say
If you do not marry equally, the mental effort must be several times that of the doorman for marriage.
But what we say is not equal, it seems that it is a situation where women are strong and men are weak, you rarely see Cinderella marrying a rich person will produce irreconcilable contradictions, and even many civilian girls dream of marrying Prince Charming and working in this direction.
The reason why strong men and weak women can be accepted by everyone is because in traditional Chinese thought, this model has long been tacitly acquiesced - male protagonist outside female protagonist.
Women can take their babies at home to do housework, settle in the big rear, and give men a stable and warm home. There was a popular saying on the Internet: "I am responsible for beautiful flowers, you are responsible for making money for me to spend", and both sides are happy.
Conversely, strong women and weak men are less well received.
How many men are willing to do housework at home and serve the elderly to take care of their children? Taking a step back, how many men can accept that their wives earn more than themselves and have a higher social status than themselves?
The traditional ideas rooted in the bones will make men feel that this is not out of breath and eating soft rice.
Even if you don't feel it, others will gossip.
It is not easy to change this situation, but it is slowly improving. The asymmetrical marriage model mentioned in the film and television works is not to make you afraid of marriage and deepen the view of the portal, but to get understanding from it and see clearly where the crux of the problem is.
Inferiority makes Gu Xin gradually perverted, attributing all the faults to the strength of the woman's parents. So he let go of his mother's meanness and wanted to override the woman in marriage, and cold violence occurred frequently.
The reason why Ge Yue messed with his ex was because he was too insecure and could not feel the care of her husband.
But if Gu Xin loves and cares more about Ge Yue and dissolves his mother's mean nagging at the right time, he will not suffer from the cold eyes of his father-in-law and mother-in-law.
But fan Shiyuan put away his stubborn self-esteem and inferiority, and treated his wife as an equal to his own family, Gu Qingyu did not need to secretly help him, deepening the rift between the two in disguise.
Women are willing to "marry" because men have the charm she appreciates, so why should men look down on themselves.
The two men in the play are poisoned by "inferiority and conceit".
Husbands and wives are not competitors, there is no need to suppress each other for the sake of face, live your own life, you don't care what others say. Working hard for a common little family, working together in the same boat, mutual understanding, and frank communication is the guarantee of a happy marriage.
The last person to accompany you is not the parents who are not children, but the person who sleeps with you.
Cherish the people in front of you and encourage them with the king.