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Mencius said: The car cannot be done without a rudder, and a person cannot stand without faith.
Integrity is the most basic moral code of being a person, and it is also the foundation of an individual's standing in the world.
Nowadays, integrity is a person's second "identity card", and it is difficult for people to walk without faith.
Franklin once said: If you lose your footing, you can immediately resume standing, but if you lose your faith, you may never be able to get it back.
The importance of integrity is reflected in many corners of life, including marriage.
Professor Xue Zhaofeng once said in "Strange Story":
To get married is to run a business, to sign a contract, to run a family business, and to sign a futures contract for lifelong wholesale.
Marriage is essentially a contractual relationship, and good faith is the basis of all contractual relationships.
Writer Nina O'Neill said:
Trust is the most important trait shared by two people in a marriage relationship, and it is also indispensable for building a pleasant and growing relationship.
In marriage, the most important thing is to build a relationship of trust with each other. Integrity is the foundation of building a relationship of trust.
Marriages that lack a foundation of integrity simply cannot withstand the storm.
01. The marriage is ruined by the dishonesty of the Phoenix man
The marriage of netizen Tang Ru (pseudonym) was ruined by the words of the phoenix male husband and the in-laws.
Tang Ru was born in a third-tier city on the southeast coast.
The local concept of raising children to prevent the elderly and raising children to continue the incense is still prevalent, especially in the hearts of the older generation, which can be described as deeply rooted.
However, Tang Ru's parents have formal jobs, and for well-known reasons, they cannot have a second child. Therefore, Tang Ru after the 90s has no brothers and sisters, she is the only daughter in the family.
After graduating from Tang Ru University, he successfully passed the examination, entered a good local unit to work, and under the introduction of enthusiastic colleagues, he met his current husband Ye Ze (pseudonym).
Ye Ze is a phoenix man from the townships around the city, who also works within the system and also holds a small position.
When Tang Ru first started, there were still some doubts, Ye Ze, whose height, appearance, and education were not bad, was a proper potential stock in the marriage market, why was he about to run three, or single?
After a period of interaction, Tang Ru understood.
Ye Ze's family is generally poor, he is the second eldest in the family, the eldest brother got married a few years ago, has hollowed out the family foundation, and there is no extra money in the family to support him to buy a house in the city and get married.
In the eyes of the local woman's family, a marriage room is a necessary condition for marriage. Not having a marriage room is Ye Ze's hard wound, plus Ye Ze's own vision is not low, he wants to find a city girl with a formal job.
Therefore, he is not high or low, and he has only been single so far.
02. As long as the second child follows the mother's surname, you can carry a bag to stay
Tang Ru's family is well-off, his job is good, and he meets Ye Ze's criteria for choosing a mate.
Ye Ze's impression of Tang Ru was also good, and the two hit it off and talked about love. Since Ye Ze did not have a marriage room, when talking about marriage, Tang Ru's parents made a request.
Parents hope that after the two get married, they will have two children, the first child with the mother's surname, and the second child with the father's surname.
In exchange, the woman's family is willing to pay a down payment to purchase a marriage house, which is registered in the name of the younger two. Moreover, the decoration of the marriage room and home appliances are also responsible for the woman, and the man can carry a bag to move in.
At that time, Ye Ze agreed.
However, after a few months, at the instigation of the mother-in-law,Ye Ze changed his mind. The mother-in-law also personally came to the door to talk to Tang Ru's parents about the child's surname.
The mother-in-law said that the son is not a son-in-law, and the first child will follow the mother's surname, not only will they be laughed at as parents, but Ye Ze will also be looked down upon.
The mother-to-be proposed that the second child could be given the mother's surname.
When the parents saw ye Ze reneging on his promise, they were a little unhappy, after all, the wedding room had begun to be renovated. But in order to take into account the overall situation, the parents chose to give in and agreed that the second child would follow the mother's surname.
Eat a trench, grow a wisdom. Parents are worried that the man will renege on his promise again in the future, and directly pull the introducer to witness and agree on the surname of the child in the future.
Later, Tang Ru and Ye Ze successfully consummated their marriage. More than a year after the marriage, she gave birth to her daughter safely. According to the agreement, the daughter follows the father's surname.
After the birth of the daughter, the mother-in-law came to help with the child.
The two generations of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, whether it is the three views of personality, or ideological concepts and living habits, are very different, especially in the concept of parenting, the two have great differences.
Therefore, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is constant conflict.
03. The phoenix man promises that the second child will follow the mother's surname, but he does not keep the integrity
The mother-in-law is stubborn in her thinking, believing that her granddaughter follows the man's surname, that is, the man's family, and as a grandmother, she has the right to be responsible for her granddaughter.
Tang Ru was angry, whether the child followed the father's surname or the mother's surname, she was the child's biological mother, and the mother-in-law's behavior was to cross the line.
What made Tang Ru even more angry was Ye Ze's attitude, and at this time she discovered the essence of Ye Ze's foolish filial piety.
Although life is not smooth, the days will go on. When her daughter was 3 years old, Tang Ru gave birth to her second child, a boy. It was also this boy that made Tang Ru's marriage collapse.
According to the agreement, the second child follows the mother's surname.
However, when the mother-in-law saw that the second child was a boy, she immediately moved her mind.
They took advantage of Tang Ru's confinement at home, let Ye Ze take her power of attorney, and changed the second child's surname to his father's surname when applying for a medical certificate.
Ye Ze's blatant violation of his promise and rebellion immediately annoyed Tang Ru's parents. Tang Ru even proposed on the spot that if he did not change the child's surname back, he would end the marriage immediately.
Ye Ze shirked all kinds of things, that is, he refused to change his surname, and his in-laws saw that things were out of control, so they proposed to let their granddaughter follow their mother's surname.
Integrity is the external embodiment of a person's inner qualities.
Tang Ru was completely angered by the inferior conduct of her in-laws, and as soon as she was born, she took her children back to her mother's house, and the husband and wife began to live apart.
Tang Ru's parents, who were also angry, came to introduce people to confront.
However, at this time, Ye Ze developed well in his career, and the introducer did not dare to offend, and after some persuasion, he could only give up.
This matter has been dragging on for more than half a year, and both sides have refused to compromise. Parents think that the Ye Ze family, the character is so poor, leaving is definitely not a bad thing.
Therefore, while they reported to Ye Ze's superiors through their personal connections, they also let the female relatives of the family go to Ye Ze's work place to surround and make a big fuss.
04. The phoenix man finally tasted the bitter fruit, and the people who broke their promises were empty of money
Ye Ze was stunned, his career was in the ascendant period, the wind evaluation was very critical, and his future was worrying when Tang Runiang's family made such a fuss.
After weighing it up again, he began to soften, apologized to Tang Ru, and redeemed himself, and the child's surname was also willing to change back when he went to the household registration.
However, the foundation of trust in marriage has been exhausted. Although the surname problem was solved, Tang Ru had no confidence and continued the marriage.
Later, in order to end the marriage, the two began a "tug-of-war".
As the incident unfolded, Ye Ze found himself about to run out of money. The ownership of the house and the custody of the son who was still breastfeeding had to be taken away by Tang Ru.
At this time, the mother-in-law also began to panic, personally came to the door to apologize: "They are all family, why should they do this, you don't think about yourself, you also have to consider for your children." ”
In the end, Tang Ru still left Ye Ze. Ye Ze also tasted the bitter fruit for his own dishonesty.
Guan Zhong's "Guan Zi Shu Yan" says: "Honest people, the knot of the world."
People who talk about integrity are worth interacting with.
The same is true in marriage, once the foundation of trust between husband and wife collapses, it is difficult for intimate relationships to return to the past.
Life is not easy, two people come together, it is not easy.
Don't overdraft your credit, don't live up to the trust of the people around you, it's hard to find, cherish it.
Well, today is here, LeLe hopes that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Lele please pay attention to me, to the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~