1, a year of business travel, after returning to find that the girlfriend was actually pregnant, I was furious and slapped the table: "Quickly say, who is this child?" The girlfriend said with a look of disdain, "Yes."

1, a year of business travel, after returning to find that the girlfriend was actually pregnant, I was furious and slapped the table: "Quickly say, who is this child?" The girlfriend said with disdain: "Does it matter who it is, who Jesus' father is, do you know, did not become the founder of Christianity; who is Sun Wukong's father, do you know, did not become a fighting Buddha; Liu Bang's father is a big snake or Liu Taigong You know, people do not still become emperors!" Therefore, it doesn't matter who the son says, as long as there is a job, call your father on the line, you don't take advantage of it and sell it! ”

2. There is a girl who is born with a darker skin color, and after graduation, she is still doing geological survey work in the Geological Bureau, often basking in the sun, and her skin color is darker. Every blind date is rejected because of this, so the sister is very inferior. Yesterday, a matchmaker who claimed to be a living moon said that she was going to introduce her to her and asked her what her requirements were? The girl thought for a moment and said, "Just be a little darker than me." The matchmaker looked at her and whispered, "That's not easy to find." ”

3, the female boss cried that the mobile phone was stolen, I said: "You are such a big boss, the mobile phone lost and then buy a Huawei, is not it ok?" Cry! The landlady said: "There are pictures inside!" Out of curiosity, I contacted the thief and texted the landlady's mobile phone: "10,000 redeem the phone!" The thief simply agreed. When I got my phone back, I quickly looked through the photo album, and Mader had nothing but a few plain photos. The landlady took the phone and quickly deleted those plain face photos, as if relieved: "Finally did not flow out..." Then, she looked at me and said: "Well done, add chicken legs tonight!" "Mad, ten thousand dollars for a chicken leg?" Angry!

4. The second generation of the rich does not want to be a moth to society, so he goes to the construction site to apply. Boss: "600 a month, don't eat, don't wrap." Fu Er Dai was angry when he heard it: "I came out at the age of 10 to break into major construction sites, are you a college student?" Saying that he turned his head and left, the boss listened: "Come back and come back, pay ten thousand a month, wrap up food and wrap, do you see it?" ”

5. The father-in-law borrowed 100,000 yuan of mesh bags to set up a stall, and the result was a loss of money. In order to repay the money, the husband quit his job as a white-collar worker in a foreign company and went to the United States to deliver takeaways. Every day, the skin is particularly dry in the wind and sun, so I apply hand cream to my husband. When the mother-in-law saw this, she leaned over and said, "Son, you should apply conditioner to your hand." ”

6. Since I came to Guangdong, I have lost myself in a beautiful voice. After working hard for several years, I gradually found that it was not only me who lost myself, but also my wallet, which was getting worse and worse every month. Today, in order to eat cheap and affordable, I went to eat roast duck rice. At the next table sat a father and daughter. As soon as the roast duck rice came up, the uncle kept putting his roast duck into his daughter's plate, and said in his mouth: Eat more, eat more!!! I was touched, really a good Chinese father!!! The uncle then said: Eat more, eat a big fat man, no one can chase you can study well!!!?

7. A few years ago, my cousin sat in Starbucks resting, and a well-built young man came over and asked: Are you introduced by Aunt Wang to go on a blind date? The cousin looked up at her, it was the type he liked, and thought why not make a mistake. So, Busy promised: Yes, please sit. Later, the two of them were together, and on their birthday, her cousin told her that he was not going on a blind date. My sister-in-law smiled and said, "I'm not going on a blind date either, I'm just looking for an excuse to talk to you."

8, go to a large company for an interview on the weekend, before leaving, the female general manager asked me: "Monthly salary of 12,000, with a car, can you come to work tomorrow?" I was about to agree, when I suddenly felt that the female general manager was a little familiar, so I asked, "Do you know Wang Yue?" "Wang Yue is the name of my ex-girlfriend, and she broke up last month when she found out she split her legs. The woman said: "I am her mother, so I will provide you with another apartment, can you come to work tomorrow?" I refused: "If you think these conditions can make me a father... Then you're thinking wrong about me, I'm not that cheap!"" Wait a minute! The female president stopped me and said: "Yueyue's father died three years ago, and you are a man in the family..." I refused even more, and she still wanted to put all the burden of the family on me.

9, I like the girl's birthday, I spent a month's salary to buy a necklace. The girl looked at it and said: The necklace returns you. My heart was cold and I said, "Don't you like it?" I bought it for a month's salary! Girl: After that, we are a family, I am about to return the necklace, and you are dead. Happiness came so suddenly, and from now on I want to call her a stepmother!

10. My aunt was very envious when she saw that her colleague had bought a villa! Aunt: "Honey, my colleague Meimei's husband just bought her a villa!" Uncle: "What is a 'villa'?" "Auntie: "It's the kind of single-family courtyard, covering a large area, and a large green space..." Uncle: "That's simple!" Let's go back to our rural hometown tomorrow to live in a bungalow! ”

11, I am a fool, often forget to bring the key when I go out, and wait for my husband every time I go home. So I asked my husband: How come you don't forget to bring something? Husband said: It's easy, go out, reach for money. Me: What do you mean? The teacher said: Reaching for money refers to ID cards, mobile phones, keys, and wallets. I've said it a long time ago, don't you listen!!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #