1, noon work, see the female boss lying on the table in the morning, the air conditioner is still on, worried that she is cold, put my coat on her body, and then I will go back to my office area. After a few minutes, one

1, noon work, see the female boss lying on the table in the morning, the air conditioner is still on, worried that she is cold, put my coat on her body, and then I will go back to my office area. A few minutes later, a hysterical voice shouted, "Who, who, is trying to stink me to death!" Whose clothes is this? I weakly raised my hand: "Mine! "The landlady saw that the clothes were mine, and suddenly it was quiet, and she went into the office with the clothes and then took a lunch break. I suddenly remembered Liu Yuxi's words, the mountain is not high, there are immortals and spirits. In the same way, it doesn't matter if the clothes have a sweaty smell, the key depends on whether the person is handsome or not, and the handsome is manly. I'm too handsome, handsome to make the female boss's taste deaf...

2. Once upon a time, there was a stupid son, married a good daughter-in-law, and entered the cave room after visiting the church. Dumb Er felt strange, so he asked his daughter-in-law, "Hey hey, what name did I call you?" The daughter-in-law was angry and funny, so she replied to him: "Shout to Prince Yan." On the wedding night, the husband and wife slept one head at a time, and the wife used her feet to hook her husband, and after the idiot was woken up, she didn't know what to do, so she called out to his father: "Father, you come to see, Yama Wang ye is hooking me." As soon as his father heard this, he was shocked, and he loudly told Yama Wangye: "Yama Wangye, my son is still young, I am already old, if you want to hook me, you can hook me." ”~~

3. The sister-in-law is a college student, and after graduation, she did not find a job to live the life of a rent collector. On the weekend, the sister-in-law couldn't hold back at home and asked me to go to the bar for a drink. After drinking and coming out, we saw a foreigner asking passers-by for directions. Out of enthusiasm, the sister-in-law went to chat with the foreigner in English for half a day, but she did not understand. Finally, the foreigner was anxious and said in a standard Mandarin: You Chinese, I can understand!

4. After going to college, I didn't expect that our school was not allowed to fall in love. The dean called a meeting and explained why he was not allowed to fall in love. The dean said, "Once I caught a couple in the garden, do you know what they are doing?" Some of the students below said kissing, and some said they were talking about love. The dean said: No, I tell you, your sister took two apples, a pair of red candles, and a blazing incense in the small pavilion in the middle of the night, and was worshipping the heavens and the earth, which scared me to death! ”

5, on weekend breaks, I went to the rich woman's house to help dredge the sewers, which really made me sweat profusely. I was smoking a cigarette and resting, and the rich woman's young son handed me a coupon of 100 yuan printed in a hot pot restaurant and asked me: "Uncle, can you buy anything from this?" I was about to tease him, so I said, "Yes! Supermarket downstairs is available. Then he waved his small hand and said, "Then you take it and buy me some snacks, and the rest you buy a pack of cigarettes!" ”?

6. The father-in-law made more than 6 million yuan selling egg cakes at a stall in Dubai, and married a young wife after returning to China. One day, her father-in-law asked her, "I'm so much older than you, what will you do if I die?" She said indifferently: "Eat with your girlfriend and continue to shop." Then she asked her father-in-law, "If I die, what will you do?" The father-in-law smiled and said, "Eat with your girlfriend and go shopping all kinds of hi." ”

7, dad sent a message: "Girl, the money transferred to you last time, turn it over to me, I am useful." I was stunned, because Dad was very slow to type, usually it was voice, so this was definitely not Dad, so I turned five blocks over, and then said, "That's it?" Me: "Dad, you forgot, you didn't give me money at all, you didn't have money to spend it, you told me, I gave it to you." At this time, there was a voice sent over there, clicked to listen, and my mother's voice came from inside: "Girl, come home early from work today, have a big dinner with your father, I pay...

8, my father is very tall, the day before yesterday we sat together as a family eating hot pot. Dad looked at me and my brother and brother short three people, sighed and boasted: Daddy is tall, Mom is short! My mother reacted very big when she heard it and jumped up and tapped a chopstick on his head, and my father was scared not to squeak. The old mother was stunned and also began to boast: The mother is fierce, and the father is instigated by a nest!?

9. When I took the bus today, there was a man of about 190 standing in front of me. Then I just went over and said, "Hey, big brother, you're going to play basketball, aren't you?" He said, "I can't fight!" I asked strangely, "You can't play basketball when you're so tall?" Then he looked at me condescendingly and said, "Then will you sell burnt bread?" "Is he cursing me?"

10. The brother-in-law failed to get into one and planned to go to an art school. But the old man resolutely disagreed, and said: You don't have a foundation in art, you can't go. The brother-in-law begged for all kinds, and the old man was a sentence: you can't go without an art foundation. Finally, the brother-in-law was forced to be anxious, pointing to the award on the wall and saying: Who said I had no foundation? Since the third grade, the award certificates have all been drawn by myself, do you see that they are fake?

11, last month, a new flight attendant moved next door, often came to me to borrow some small things, and it was familiar with it when I came and went. Last night she knocked on my door after drinking too much and said to me, "I like you, are you my boyfriend?" I said, "I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend." The stewardess cried and said to me, "I don't believe it, you must have lied to me." "I pulled out my phone and asked her to look at my girlfriend's picture. The girl looked at her face reflected in the dark mobile phone screen and laughed. I took a look at my phone and said, "I'm sorry, it's a black screen!!!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #