★ My eldest sister-in-law is divorced and lives in my house temporarily. It happened that my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law! We were watching TV at home, the eldest sister-in-law said with a sigh. This treasure jade is true

★ My eldest sister-in-law is divorced and lives in my house temporarily. It happened that my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law! We were watching TV at home, the eldest sister-in-law said with a sigh. This Baoyu is really not a thing, Lin Daiyu is so good to him, but he still has an eyebrow with Baochao, and finally married Baochao. I cried and laughed and said that Bao Yu was only good to Lin Daiyu, he and Bao Chao were only brother and sister feelings, and in the end, they were only kept in the dark when they got married. Both he and Daiyu are just victims of the tragedy of love. The eldest sister-in-law said in surprise, is this so? I nodded. The eldest sister-in-law angrily turned off the TV, saying that this kind of broken TV should not be watched. It makes me laugh.

★ When I was unwell, I went to the hospital to see a doctor, and an uncle followed me, and when I entered the office, the doctor said to me, "Little friend, what's wrong with your father?" I said, "He's not my dad." The doctor said, "It's not your father, you're still coming together." I said again, "He's not my dad." The doctor said, "Children should listen to adults." I saw the nurse next to me and I said, "The three of us came in together, is she my mother?" ”

★ Spent 80,000 yuan to buy an ix35 that ran three thousand kilometers. Driving out today, after parking in the parking lot, I saw an old man dressed in shabby clothes. He was carrying a bag in his hand, and I visually saw that it was bottles and cans, and I handed him the bottle of the drink I had just finished. The old man smiled at me and put it in the bag, and I had a special sense of accomplishment. However, the old man turned and took out his key to open the car door and drove the Cadillac CT5 gorgeous past me.

★ On weekends the female colleague asked me to go hiking, I was on and she was down. When I climbed to the upper waist, I saw that the female colleague's cheeks were slightly flushed! Red, small mouth exhale. It's like being tired. I looked at her and said, "If I don't go up, you'll wait down, and I'll go up for a while and then I'll come down, what's the matter?" Unexpectedly, she suddenly listened to the drums and went down the mountain with an unhappy face. I was stunned and wondered, how did I mess with her?

★ Secretly bought a Chanel shawl from her husband's flower shell. My husband was very angry when he found out, and after counting me down, I cried and packed up my things and prepared to go back to my mother's house. While taking the elevator, I saw a grandfather wearing sunglasses. Seeing that he didn't press the elevator floor, he pressed it himself, and he asked me: How many floors are you going to? I was surprised: can you see me? Uncle was very frightened and took a few steps back, and I was messy. Co-authoring is that I treat him as blind, and he doesn't treat me like a human being!

★ Last night, Fa Xiao didn't come home all night. He Asked Sissi angrily: Where did you go to Gems! Did you deliberately not want to see me! Fa Xiao nodded and said: Yes, I just don't want to see you tigress. So, the next day, Fa Xiao didn't see him Sissi. I didn't see it on the third day. I haven't seen her again in my life, because his eyes are blind!

★ This morning, I took the bus to work, and the car was so packed that it was impossible to even turn around. At this time, there was another stop, and a big fat man was squeezed in. As soon as the car started, he found himself stepping on someone else's foot, so he yelled: "Am I stepping on the right foot?" I forced myself to endure the pain and responded: I'm sorry! If that foot is not socks, it is my foot!

★ After the female colleague divorced, rented the door across from my house, and became a female neighbor, she was the wrong party, almost out of the house, life was a little difficult, always eat instant noodles, I looked at Yu Xin can't bear it, I asked her to come over to dinner. After a few days, she wanted to stop talking, but still said: "Brother, otherwise, I will come directly to you as a girlfriend, so that I can eat conveniently!" "I didn't say yes or no, it was a bit embarrassing, to be honest, I don't like women who are married twice, after all, I am not yet married." The female colleague saw me a little hesitant, and immediately got angry, said: "Brother, you are crossing the river and demolishing the bridge, last time if you did not say that you first experience the feeling of love, can my husband divorce me?" I justified, "I just said I wanted to experience what it's like to be in love, and who knows you're going to have to mess with me!" The female colleague sneered: "Isn't that the thing about love?" She said: "The past seven love experiences have taught me that when I am in love, I want to be noisy!" I said helplessly: "Anyway, that's my first love, I don't understand, I listen to you, so you can't blame me for the accident!" "In order for her to give up that non-divided thought, I started not cooking since the afternoon and ate instant noodles like her. I thought to myself that there was no food, and she probably gave up. As a result, she became more and more happy and said, "Brother, I didn't expect us to have a common hobby!" "Why don't you do it, is this guy lying on me?" I really don't know that when I am in love, I am going to make a fuss, and I didn't expect her husband to be so careful, so he made a fuss and was going to divorce.

★ In the evening, I came back from shopping with my girlfriend and saw that the family was particularly messed up by my husband and son. I put down my stuff and yelled angrily, "You two are so bad at talking, you're mad at me!" The husband was full of smiles: "It's good to be angry, it's good to be angry!" Me: "Are you looking for a draw?" Husband: "Honey, remember, the old Chinese medicine doctor said that you have a weak spleen and need to replenish your qi, and now you have qi, right?" ”

★ When I went out for a run in the afternoon, I suddenly got upset and I saw the public toilet and went in. When I wanted to wipe my ass when I was done, there was no paper!!!!!!。 At this time, he heard movement next door, so he knocked on the toilet next door and asked: "Sister, forgot to bring some paper??? As a result, a big brother's rough voice said: "That, little sister, take the liberty of asking, who of us is in the wrong ??? "#Funny# #幽默搞笑段子 #