1, a person took a plane, asked the flight attendant for a bottle of water, how can not wait, is angry, heard someone behind him shouting: "Lao Tzu wants XO?" Why don't you come yet, find a draw on you guys! ”

1, a person took a plane, asked the flight attendant for a bottle of water, how can not wait, is angry, heard someone behind him shouting: "Lao Tzu wants XO?" Why don't you come yet, find a draw on you guys! He thought to himself, "Who's so good?" "Looking back, it turned out to be a parrot. I saw the flight attendant running over and saying, "I'm sorry, I'll come right away." The man thought to himself, "It turns out that the flight attendant is afraid of yokozuna." So he stood up and shouted at the flight attendant, "You don't want to live, when will you bring the mineral water I want?" The flight attendant said, "Please wait." After a while, the flight attendant walked over with a big man, and the flight attendant pointed out: "That's him!" Without saying a word, the big man threw this man out of the plane. This person is a little regretful, while falling down and thinking, I am a big master, not only the parrot face is big... The more he thought about it, the more he drew fire. At this time, he suddenly saw that the parrot had also been thrown down, and the parrot passed by him and asked, "Will you fly?" The man said, "How can I fly?" The parrot said, "Since you can't fly, are you still so cattle?"

2. After graduating from work in Yili, the newly divorced female boss began to pursue me at first sight, and I did not insist on agreeing to it for a long time when I first entered the society. But together for more than half a year, she has not taken me to see my parents, and during today's work, some people claim to be the husband of the female boss. I got angry and called on two of my best buddies to beat the man up. In the afternoon, the man came again, accompanied by the female boss, who desperately made a look at me, and I would understand, and it was another beating. The next day, the landlady fired me, meaning I was fighting at the company. I asked her, a few months of feelings are not talked about? She said that she is a person with heavy feelings and she has been with her husband for 5 years. Listening to her explanation, it seems that there is nothing wrong with it, right?

3. When I was studying at a medical university, I raised a turtle in my dormitory, and often put it on the balcony to bask in the sun. I forgot to take it back that night, and the next day the whole pot froze. I thought I was dead, but when I came back at noon, I climbed again! Just happy, the roommate came back and said it was really cold outside! When I saw him come in, I shouted at him excitedly: You see, Wang Ba is frost-resistant!

4, just joined a new company, the boss gave me a box of valuable high-grade tea, my heart warmed. One morning two months later, the boss met me and greeted me warmly: "Do I still have the box of tea leaves I sent you?" I just finished drinking, even I ordered, I drank this tea to get used to. I could only shake my head, the box of tea had been drunk a few days before. In the afternoon, the personnel talked to me: "The boss said that you have too much time to drink tea in the office, and our company is not suitable for you." ”

5. After my cousin quit his job as a takeaway, he worked as a courier in a courier company. Yesterday, when the courier was delivered, this cargo knocked people into it. When he got home from work, his cousin asked him what was going on. He said with a look of chagrin: Alas, don't mention, today I went to send a piece, the electric tricycle did not pull out the key and put it downstairs in the community, the car actually moved itself, knocked a riding girl, the girl got up and slowly said, so long time did not ride, immediately arrived home, was actually hit by a driverless electric car ...?

6. There is a brother in the dormitory who does not like to play computer games, and he bought two goldfish at the market. Later, due to the sudden cooling in winter, both goldfish were frozen to death. The brother held two goldfish and wept bitterly. We let the brothers go into the next burial, into the soil. The brothers were not happy and had to be cremated. Then the more roasted, the more fragrant it became, and finally we were asked to buy a dozen Laoshan beers.

7. When I took the college entrance examination, I was only one point short and could not be admitted to the dream Shenyang Conservatory of Music, so I had to go to college. I remember my brother went to the dormitory one day to report that three roommates had attached fake mosquito bodies to try to scare me. I was particularly calm, silently watching them without saying a word. Then I sat down on the window, took out a straw and tin foil and poured a little lotus root powder and lit it. The three men looked at me dumbfounded, stunned for three seconds and almost brought me to my knees!

8, the girlfriend's home is far from the company, so she is often late. Helplessly, she rented a house near the company and usually only returned home during the holidays. I drank too much last night and went to my girlfriend's house to rest. I got up this morning and found that my girlfriend had washed all my clothes, and then she went to buy vegetables by herself. She was going to lie down at the window and not get up, but her parents came to see her. I could only wear my girlfriend's nightgown and pour tea and water for her parents!

9. The old man promised me to give me a set of Tomson and a pin house when I got married. After a psychological struggle, I gave up the school flower girlfriends and chose the daughter of the old man of two hundred pounds. Some time ago, the old man bought me a set of Tomson Yipin mansion through the chain family, and I was renovating it. I bought a smart music toilet imported from Europe, and as a result, something happened on the way there, the new toilet had not yet arrived, and the renovation workers dismantled the old toilet and put it in the living room. A colleague of mine heard that I had bought a house and wanted to visit it. As soon as she entered my house, she shouted in amazement: Ah! Your toilet is so big!?

10, today is fine, in my son's kindergarten listened to a lesson for a while. In class, the teacher asked his female counterparts: "Xiao Sa, do you know what the motherland is?" Xiao Sa thought for a moment and said, "The motherland is my mother." The teacher said, "Not bad." Then he asked my son, "What is the motherland?" The son TUO mouthed out: "The motherland is Xiao Sa's mother!" ”

11. The cousin is about to get married, and when discussing the bride price, the mother-in-law's family actually asked for 500,000. The cousin was confused and said: I don't have that much money. The mother-in-law smiled and said: "Otherwise, you send a dynamic saying that you are getting married, and we will decide by the number of likes." The cousin agreed, and as a result, he later gave 500,000 and owed 200,000 to his mother-in-law's family...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #