This article is dedicated to all the bare-knuckle commander bosses like me, who are conscientious and personally present, and who want to take a break from work but cannot take a break in order to survive

      This article is dedicated to all the unused bare-knuckle commander bosses like me, who work hard and do it themselves, and who want to take a break from work but can't take a break in order to survive.  

                            Complexes and entanglements

                                    Zang Xueni

     Wind and rain, ups and downs, peace and security, smooth and smooth, Tianyi Shun for more than ten years is how to come all the way.

       For nearly ten years when I first opened the store, I worked until the end of the year, taking a break from noon on August 15 every year, going to my mother-in-law's house, and continuing to operate in the evening. Most of the things I went to participate alone, my husband was busy in the shop, fortunately, the people who came to me were regular customers, when my husband was busy, the guests were all hands-on, tableware, pour water to drink, thank God for their care, my guests here are very good! 🙏 🙏 I remember the most touching time was in March 2019, when my father was seriously ill in the Development Zone Yeda Hospital hospital hospital, our sisters waited in shifts, when it was my turn, I could only keep the store by my husband, and the helpers every time they caught up with me to wait for my father when they came, to see my husband busy with his own tableware to pour water, so that when I was in the store, they came, the dean still took the tableware himself, I said: "Dean, I don't need you to take it, I am not very embarrassed to put the tableware by yourself." As a result, the dean said, "It's okay, you can rest for a while, it's enough for you!" "I was so moved to tears that I almost rolled down! 😭 😭 Long live understanding!

       After saying that for half a day, some people may not understand that their business wants to rest on which day to rest, so tired is not self-seeking? In fact, it is really not like that, unless there is a ability and economic backing, it does not matter if it is closed like this, but we can't. One has no other skills, and the other has no economic backing, so as long as you work, you can't fish for three days and dry nets for two days.

        2014 was the most emaciated year since I opened the store, first the second uncle had necrosis of the femoral head, and then I didn't know whether it was hormone beating too much or occupational disease pneumoconiosis, anyway, severe allergy asthma began to intermittently live in Yuhuangding Hospital, I came back and forth to deliver food. In the same year, my father also underwent major surgery in Yuhuangding Hospital, the 70-year-old mother guarded my father in the hospital every day, I took the bus to the hospital every day to deliver food to my mother, after arriving at the ward, I let my mother sleep on the bench for a while, I looked at my father, the father after the operation was not very conscious, afraid that the sleeping father would move his dripping hands. On July 6, 2014, the second uncle was diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer, that day was also the day when the son received the college admission letter, that day really experienced what it was like to be sad and happy, anyway, I didn't see my husband show a smile. One afternoon, because the husband saw the painful scene of the little uncle in the heavy custody, sat on the bed at night and did not sleep, cried all night, the next day the voice was dumb, five months later the little uncle died, the husband lost 10 pounds a month, (the husband was not fat, decades have been like that, so I say thin) The voice is also completely out of voice, not as dumb as a dumb. (Later, the neighbor's old Chinese medicine doctor gave a home remedy to cure it.) During that time, I delivered food to the slope of the two legs are not good to make, the husband bought vegetables in the morning, back to the store to hurry to make me the food delivered, I took it away and then he prepared the dishes, at noon a person reception. That year, my son volunteered and we both couldn't take care of it, and my son checked the colleges and made phone calls by himself, and there was no need for us to worry about it. Bitter, tired can only resist by themselves, hide by themselves, I hope that what I leave for customers will always be a positive smiley face! After the death of the second uncle, round grave, burning seven and other things my husband and I began to take a break, as a result, there were two times home a bunch of distant customers have caught up, drive to the door of the store to see that there is no door to go, two times the air will not come again, and later encountered in the hospital to say, people so far away taxi to lead friends but pounced twice empty, so dare not come easily! Now you know that trading can't always close your doors, right? 2014 survived in the wind and rain in sorrow and joy!

        My father's serious illness only felt that my parents were old, and my father was no longer the top pillar in my heart when I was a child! Since then, I have begun to take holidays, the Dragon Boat Festival, August 15, New Year's Day, spring festival, all go to my mother's house in the morning, go to my in-laws' house in the afternoon, rush back to Yantai in the evening, and open as usual the next day.

        In the fifteen or six years since we opened the store, we have never closed our business due to a cold and fever, but we have survived! This is what the husband calls dedication! I'm not in favor! But he said: No matter what you do, you must first be dedicated, and dedication is afraid of not doing well, let alone not being dedicated!

         Remember the summer of 2018, the old father is not good, the brother sent the old father to Yuhuangding Hospital for examination, but catching up with the husband is not good, but the two of us still did not rest, I was going to go to the hospital after noon, but the husband was not good, I let him go home and rest I watched in the shop, after the guests left, I was just about to clean up the table, my brother came to the phone, said to take the old father back to Fukuyama, said that I was too busy to come here, back to Fukuyama he took care of it conveniently. I finally couldn't help but burst into tears! One is the father, the other is the husband, and the small shop on which he depends for survival (the son's senior high school for four years of private school, four years of undergraduate college have studied painting, and the economic resources are only small shops), there are more than a dozen large and small restaurants in the community, I remember that one year I counted 17, and now it has closed a lot. Since ancient times, loyalty and filial piety cannot be complete, but my filial piety and family are also so difficult, I would like to be able to split the body! At that time, the heart was really a pain that tore at the heart and lungs! Others can't feel the pain of this complex and entanglement!

        On August 15 this year, New Year's Day, there were guests who had set tables in advance, and I was embarrassed to refuse, because the old woman who was almost eighty was at home waiting for her children to come home, and the in-laws in their eighties were also looking forward to their children and grandchildren coming home.

        Without a career, there is no financial source to survive, and freelancers I think I can best appreciate this entanglement, not what office workers say: you can take a break whenever you want.

        The new year is on the way again, and I wish freelancers a year of peace and prosperity! Go with the flow and make money! 🙏 🙏