1, go to the dental office to wash your teeth, help me to wash my teeth is a young woman, fiercely a little posture. Her gloves were put on, the tools were ready, I was lying down, my mouth was open, but she ran away, and when she came back, I teased her: "Holding back urine, rushing to the toilet?" She was stunned, rolled her good-looking white eyes and replied: "Your bad breath is very big, I went to change a thick mask!" ”
2, the old mother entrusted the matchmaker to introduce me to a girlfriend, I looked very pretty, I agreed to go on a blind date, the matchmaker patted me on the shoulder and smiled and said: "You married her, absolutely worth it!" Me: "It's good to be able to get married and live a life, but why do you think it's absolutely worth it?" The matchmaker said, "Not only can she be your wife, but she can also be your bodyguard because she is a martial artist." My face is black when I hear it, and such a wife still dares to either...?
3. After graduating from high school, I worked as the general manager of my father's company. Every day in the company is to chase the drama, it is really boring, I drive Toyota out to carry passengers to pass the time. Picked up a couple at the entrance of the cinema. The man said, "Honey, you go back first, I'm going to go dark with my friends all night tonight." The girl didn't speak, a look of resentment. After arriving at the destination, the man got out of the car. The woman shouted at me, "Driver, go to the nearest hotel, and then you can collect the car." I'm just a warm-hearted guy who kicks the throttle and runs out. The man chased me for five whole streets!
4. The cousin died during the caesarean section, and the cousin immediately got along with her girlfriend. Today is my cousin's big day, and my mother took me to the wedding banquet. Looking at her cousin's chapel, the old mother immediately showed a look of envy. My lips were a little chapped, and my mother took a lip balm and handed it to me: Son, you should also find a girlfriend, see what your lips are cracked! Curiously, I asked: What does it have to do with this? Mom: Of course, there are objects that kiss several times a day, and the lips will certainly not crack!
5. As a handsome guy, he has been a gentleman since high school. I once agreed with several sisters that if I didn't marry you after ten years, we would make it up. Time has passed, ten years is in sight, and the former female students are married one by one. Very helpless, wrapped in hope, called the last female classmate and asked her how she was doing? The phone rang, and she said: "Very bad, marry fiercely, the bride price banquet has not been done, just get married!" I suddenly felt some pity and asked, "How can you marry yourself so casually!" She said helplessly, "Isn't this the end of ten years coming soon?" ”
6. After school, I went to my neighbor's grandfather Liu's house to play. I asked Grandpa Liu, "You are almost old, have you fulfilled your wishes when you were young?" He replied, "When I was young, your grandmother always liked to pull my hair, and I thought, if only I didn't have hair." Now my wish has finally come true. But..." "But what? I asked nervously. Grandpa Liu sighed and said, "But now your grandmother has changed to prick my ears again." ”
7, a brother personality is to love to brag, usually in front of friends to pretend. Drinking on this day, this buddy and we talked about what kind of wine they usually feel comfortable drinking. He listened for a moment and came to the spirit and said, "Old wight fuck! We listened, looked at him in surprise, oops! Foreign wine, I was immediately impressed. But I still came home at night and thought, "I'll go!" Isn't it just plain bullshit! ”
8. Recently, my daughter-in-law's company arranged to send a foreign mission, and I and my sister-in-law were left at home. Fortunately, I was still a decent gentleman, and I was at peace for a few days. However, my sister-in-law has a problem, eating braised meat at every meal, which has led to my recent pocket money being almost gone. I really can't stand it, so I said: You've eaten too much meat these days, and you see you're fat! The sister-in-law listened unhappily and said: How do you know, I don't think I am fat, or you pick me up and sweep me up! I refused at the time, a big girl with a water spirit was facing me all day, and I went to the hotel that night!?
9. Yesterday, my father-in-law told us that my 44-year-old mother-in-law was pregnant. Since my mother-in-law became pregnant, I was no longer addicted to games. The father-in-law is worried that the mother-in-law sits in front of the computer all day, and the computer radiation is not good for the child's development. So before going to work today, my father-in-law unplugged the main computer socket. When my father-in-law came home from work, I saw my mother-in-law playing in front of the computer! The father-in-law asked, puzzled, "How did you turn on the computer?" The mother-in-law said: "The computer is broken, I had to hire a master to repair it, and it cost 500 yuan!" ”
10. Last month, a new batch of post-00 interns came to the factory, and after today's salary, they went to the boss to ask for explanations. One of them said: "The original recruitment notice clearly promised us a monthly salary of 3,000-9,000 yuan, but the actual salary we received every month was 3,000 yuan, not 6,000 yuan, let alone 9,000 yuan!" The boss laughed: "Young man, you are so funny, do you really think the number after the dash is a salary?" The interns said, "Isn't it the salary?" Boss: "That's imagination space!"
11. After her girlfriend resigned from Foxconn, she became a primary school teacher. Later, when my son was older, I sent him to my girlfriend's class. Yesterday my son just finished the midterm exam, and this evening I called my girlfriend and said to my son: It is good to have a girlfriend as a teacher, and you can immediately know the child's grades! The son snorted disdainfully: Where is good, the beating will be advanced in the future.
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