With colleagues in Japan on business trips, the hotel waiter led us to the room, the eldest brother said all the way to see people Japanese girls are all kinds of good-looking, you see this thigh, this big chest, this big hip, a look at it to think

With colleagues in Japan on business trip, the hotel waiter led us to the room, the big brother said all the way to see people Japanese girls are all kinds of good-looking, you see this thigh, this big chest, this big hip, a look at the cloud rain a bit, the waiter suddenly said a word, two big brothers, I am also Chinese ...

2, yesterday my son asked me to help him clean up the room, and it turned out that I found his diary. I teased: "Yo yo yo, I haven't seen it yet, it turns out that you are still a poet, and the wind in July and the rain in August, with whom?" The son said angrily: "You peek at my diary, this is my privacy." I said dismissively, "Just you? privacy? I'm Mom you still have privacy? Why don't you wear pants when you were born with privacy? ”

3, the college entrance examination, I and a few students who are also in difficulty at home plan to work to earn some pocket money. During the interview, he asked me, "What do you know?" I replied, "I can play basketball, English level 4 or 6, math, physics and chemistry, composition first place!" The foreman interrupted me and said, "There will be a lot of them, go and move the bricks." ”

4, just in this month, in Beijing to work rest home on the first day was forced to go on a blind date, the other party is to learn English major in Shanghai development, quite dragged, a come to say that he English level six, Japanese level one, German level two, ask me how many levels? I told him QQ60 level, yellow diamond level 7, Weibo level 3, temper explosive power level 100, before he finished speaking, the other party went away...

5, high school roommate, once in physical education class, the dormitory third because of late arrival by the physical education teacher punished dozens of squats, after the physical education class, the third elder's legs have been shaking. As soon as I arrived at the door of the class, the English teacher called the third elder to the office. The English teacher said angrily: You look at your test paper, how did you make it like this? The third elder took a step forward, trying to see more clearly, but the leg was soft and did not stand steady, "snapping" to the teacher's knees, the action was coherent and natural, even the third elder himself did not react. The teacher was confused at that time, quickly supported the third elder, and said solemnly: I really didn't expect that you were so strict with yourself!

6. A student meets his English teacher at the door of the toilet. The schoolgirl shouted, "Teacher! Just now I saw a lot of ants in the toilet, so disgusting! Because the word ant was taught not long ago, the English teacher asked in passing, "What do ants say?" The female student looked at the teacher in surprise and said, "The ants didn't say anything." ”

7. The brother-in-law who has just interned accidentally bumped into the secret of the boss lady and the male assistant, and was expelled by the boss lady on the spot. In order to repay the mortgage, the brother-in-law immediately went to the new company for an interview. The interviewer asked him: Have you ever taken the English Level 4 exam? Brother-in-law: I have passed the exam. The interviewer asked: Why didn't you bring your certificate? He said: I haven't taken the exam. The interviewer is impatient: have you ever taken the test? The brother-in-law said awkwardly: I have taken the exam, but I have not taken the exam.

8, when I was a child, I went to play in other people's homes, and the neighbors knew that I knew a lot, so they asked me the question: "What does the UK say?" I replied, "English." The neighbor asked, "What about the French ones?" I replied, "French!" Then the neighbor: "What about China?" Without thinking, I blurted out: "Of course it is Chinese"! The neighbor cried and laughed: "Why don't you say that it rains rain and heavy rain?" ”

9, "My dad asked me today what kind of man I want to look for in the future, I said it is best to be Chinese 187 height, model figure, 8 abs, family bank, best to have a private yacht, can speak 5 languages, best know French italian, accompany me to Switzerland skiing, see beautiful women do not like, only like me." 」 My dad only told me one sentence, delete all the Korean dramas you downloaded.

10, our English teacher is young and beautiful, we all call her 19 sisters in private. She found me one day and called me to the office and asked me why I called her Sister 19? I asked her: How to read 19 in English? Then she was stunned, and then blushed and asked me to go back to the classroom...

1 Yesterday I had a drink with my friends, hanging out at the mouth of the new street, in front of an unknown woman in white squatted down to tie her shoelaces, my classmate bit his teeth and stomped his feet, came a goat jump, we were speechless around. The woman was stunned... We kept apologizing to people before we passed. It's crazy to think about this wine!

12, and a beautiful female colleague in our department has a good relationship, often playing, sometimes making a joke. We worked overtime this weekend, and I wanted to tease her again, and said to her: Let me give you a riddle, right? The female colleague said happily: Good, good. I asked: Long-legged Oba, hit a piece of food. The female colleague thought about it for half a day and asked me: I can't guess, you say. I smiled and said to her: Cake. The female colleague immediately reacted and said to me: You old driver!

13, the teacher drove my son back, I asked the teacher why. The teacher said angrily: "Your son is not good at listening to the lectures in English class, the English teacher educates him, let him listen to the lectures carefully, otherwise what to do if the English is not good in the future, it will be too late at that time!" Who knows, your son actually said, Teacher, my father is rich, I am the second generation of the rich, I have enough money to ask for a translator! After listening to it, I was very excited, pulled my son over, gave a thumbs up and praised: "Good son, really give Dad a long face!" ”

14, the Chinese teacher who gave us the online lesson is a new teacher, more than fifty years old, as soon as the class starts to roll call (according to the student number): No. 1, what is the name I: Jiang Yinyu. Teacher: The teacher doesn't speak English, and the teacher asks what your name is. Me: Jiang Yinyu!