At that time, I did not pay attention to being photographed by the rich man, and the rich man threatened me to marry him, and I agreed to buy the method. After getting married, it didn't take long for me to have a daughter. Now my daughter is in kindergarten, mother-in-law

At that time, I did not pay attention to being photographed by the rich man, and the rich man threatened me to marry him, and I agreed to buy the method. After getting married, it didn't take long for me to have a daughter. Now that my daughter is in kindergarten, my mother-in-law cut her long hair without my consent. A little xian girl with long flowing hair became a tomboy with a watermelon peel on her head. The next day when my daughter came home from kindergarten, I asked, "Have you asked you how you cut it so short?" The daughter said, "No, everyone thinks I'm new here." ”

2, dad paid a down payment of 200,000 yuan to buy me a house, let me pay the mortgage myself. I quit my white-collar job and went to work at a more paid construction site. At that time, I lived in a work shed, slept in a porch, some places called Chase bunks, thirty or forty people slept together, you squeezed me, I rubbed your kind. One night, when I came back from dinner, I saw my co-workers pulling up mosquito nets. I didn't buy it at the time, I didn't hang it, and that night, I couldn't sleep all night, and I couldn't stand the bite of mosquitoes! When I got up in the morning, I didn't shoot a few mosquitoes, and my face had been swollen by myself...

3, the girl is, small fresh in front of relatives, Wen Jingdi in front of outsiders, neuropathy in front of acquaintances, female hooligans in front of girlfriends, passers-by are simply a group of neuropaths in the eyes of passers-by, anyway, there are two kinds of people who can play with me, one is a person who can endure my neuropathy, and the other is a person with the same neuropathy as me. Whether it is fun or smelly, it must be fortunate to meet someone who can accompany him to go crazy at any time.

4, on the eve of the college entrance examination riding grandpa's bicycle through most of the townships, turning to the suburbs to enjoy the flowers for a ride, the evening sunset obliquely through the window sill, the back shadow was pulled to the old, the fat cat nest whispered in a corner, there was happy dust in the air, the music in the neighbor's room on the opposite third floor came to the maximum, I called my girlfriends three or five groups to gather on the top floor to play fifty K, has been nervous and crazy review until the eve of the college entrance examination holiday that the mood was instantly relaxed to the extreme. That year, I finally got my wish and entered the university campus of my dreams! Come on, candidates! Hard work pays off!

5, TV reality show is too hot ~ what "where did Daddy go", "Daddy is back", "Mom listens to me", according to this trend, programs about aunts and uncles will soon be released. At present, I have several program ideas, namely "Run Bar Second Uncle", "Sister-in-law My Brother" and "Brother-in-law Don't Be Like This", "Come On Little Sister-in-law", and now I am seeking strategic cooperation extensively!

6, not long ago, my performance in the company is very outstanding, for the company to bring a big customer. The boss had a meeting and said to give me 2,000 yuan. It's been more than half a month, but the money hasn't arrived. I wondered, did the boss forget and want to remind him? Whenever he got out of the patrol car, I took the voice calculator and kept pressing 2. I was fired by the boss today. Every time I saw him, he said he was going to scold him with a calculator!

7, a few days ago I made an appointment with a friend to go to the buffet today, we were hungry for three days. We went straight to the cafeteria, the owner stopped us, carefully observed us, and then took out three hundred dollars and a coupon for us, saying: Give me a face, go to the next house to eat! We obediently took the money and coupons to the opposite side, only to come back, with a thousand dollars and three coupons in our hands to return to the first store.

8. When I was just in my freshman year, the weather was very hot, and I had to go to the sun for military training. Towards the end of the day, the instructor asked us to train for 20 minutes, and to add 10 minutes to the move. Coincidentally, two mosquitoes flew down on the face of a classmate. "Report that there are enemy troops occupying our airspace and forcibly occupying our territory, whether they can be annihilated, please instruct!!" The classmate angrily asked the instructor for instructions. "Of course annihilate!!" The instructor had a resolute look on his face. As a result, only a "snap" was heard, and he slapped the nasty mosquito in the face.

9. Some time ago, Xiao Wang was seriously ill, and everyone broke off contact with him, and Xiao Wang was discouraged. Today, Xiao Wang lay on the bed and said to the nurse: "I have no love, no family affection, no friendship, no money, now am I really nothing?" The nurse replied with loving words: "Look at what you said, how can you be so unconfident in yourself!" Aren't you still sick? Come, take the medicine! ”

10, a buddy let me introduce him to a girlfriend, ask for more than 160cm, cute, don't be too careful. Just a qualified girl single, I asked, the result of the girl's requirements is to have a house and a car, monthly income of more than 10,000, height of more than 175cm, the appearance is attractive. I went to ask the boy who met the conditions, and his requirement for girls was that he was above 168cm tall, had to be beautiful and sweet, and was very good at housework and could make money. I went to find a girl who met the conditions, and her requirement was that the man should have a villa, a Mercedes-Benz, a company, and a height of more than 180cm... Let's all be single with TMD!

1 and divorced landlady for half a year, and finally the landlady saw that I was yellow and thin, and gave me a house as a breakup fee. Recently the house was renovated and I moved into a new home. I found an old lady in the neighborhood who picked up rags, drink bottles every day all day. I saw her pitifully, and saved a lot of bottles for her every time. Once she picked up a lot of bottles and couldn't move, so she called her son and asked him to drive to pull them. After a while, I saw his son driving the Maybach bottle into the car.

12, after a long ten hours of flight, I finally arrived as I wished, Los Angeles, USA, ah! The United States, the air they said, I smelled, it was extremely sweet, there was no smog at all, so I took off the thick mask I wore in China and changed into thick body armor!

13, "You must firmly believe that one day you will become a noble white swan!" "The ugly duckling firmly remembered his mother's words, it passed through the mountains, passed the lakes, passed the forest, passed the desert... Although he did not turn into a beautiful white swan, he trained his body to be great, and he has always been recognized by everyone - this roast duck, the meat is great.