1, female colleagues asked me to go to her house for tea, the result was to the door to forget to bring the key, I said wait for your husband to come back, ah, she said that it was a mistake. We called the master who unlocked the lock, and the master came to stir up the tricks

1, female colleagues asked me to go to her house for tea, the result was to the door to forget to bring the key, I said wait for your husband to come back, ah, she said that it was a mistake. We called the master who unlocked the lock, and the master came to drum for a few seconds and then opened it, saying that it was 100 yuan. Female colleagues let me pay, I think it is expensive, not to mention that it is not my home, I said to the master 50 lines no, the master said that the market price is 100. I said that your 100 yuan was too easy to earn, and the master couldn't lock the door again, saying that he didn't want the door-to-door fee. My female colleague and I were dumbfounded, she offered to go to the hotel, I refused, I really just paid 50 bucks. So, remind everyone, go out with more money, the opportunity is only for those who are prepared.??

2, at night with good sisters sharing the funny things about their boyfriends, they are a group of people who love to play games. I hate and hate: This goods, the family unplugs the power, he will go to a friend's house to play. After my friend's house was known, he ran to the Internet café to play, and every day I carried it back. The sister gave up and looked at it: You are all fine, oh, my boyfriend is now running to the company to play. He lied to me and told me to work overtime every day, and he also told the doorman downstairs not to let in.

3. When I was going to college outside, I returned to my hometown in the countryside during a summer vacation. Just walked to the mouth of the village to see that there were several arches in the field, and when I approached to see what was planted, I found that there were several locusts lying on the skeleton of the plastic film shed. I asked the old man who worked next to the shed: What crops do you grow in this shed? There are locusts, why don't you cure them? The old man said slowly: There are no crops in the shed, I professionally raise grasshoppers, can't I?

4, last night the rich man and a few friends invited to KTV, shouted a few accompanying princesses. The one sitting next to the rich man was quite beautiful, and in the middle she took the rich man's hand and sang a few songs. At the end, she said to the rich man: "It is not easy to make some money, don't come to this kind of place in the future, look at the cocoon on your hand, save some money for your sister-in-law and children!" At that moment, the rich man's heart was full of mixed feelings, but he couldn't say the words to his mouth, and he choked in his throat like a fish thorn! How the rich man wanted to tell her: "That's what I rubbed out of playing mahjong!" ”?

5. The boyfriend is an Amazon China executive, who was recently laid off by the company, and he stayed at home all day playing games. Recently, he was particularly addicted to the dream of traveling to the west, and secretly charged me with more than 2 million flowers. I knew that I was particularly angry later, and I had a big fight with him, and I made a lot of trouble, and no one would let anyone. My temper came up, and I scratched several bloody wounds on his arm with my hand. My boyfriend immediately became anxious, grabbed my hand and pressed it on the table. I panicked, only to see him pick up a nail clipper and cut my nails for me.

6. Go to the restaurant with your husband to eat. I went to a bathroom in the restaurant, came out to see my husband talking to a woman, and when I passed the woman left. I asked my husband who the woman was, and answered: My old wife. I was immediately anxious and yelled: You still have an old one? No matter how he explains it, he doesn't care. Suddenly the woman turned back to me and felt very familiar, it turned out to be my aunt, and I suddenly realized. Yelled at her husband: You said that your aunt can't do it, but your uncle's wife!

7, colleague Lao Liu is a wine worm, the meal can not be separated from the wine, but the company does not let the wine into, so I found a mineral water bottle to pour some wine with him at noon, there are some leftovers. On the way back, walking in front of me was a small couple, only to see the man slowly fall down, "faint" on the ground The girl grabbed the "water" in my hand and unscrewed the lid and poured it on the man's face. The boy "rubbed" and jumped up: Don't give me artificial respiration, even if you pour alcohol on me, how many meanings do you pour alcohol on me?

8. During the New Year, my relatives arranged for me to go on a blind date, but I did not expect that the place where the other party made an appointment was actually the café where I worked. I took a day off and put on my clothes to meet the guy. After I went, I smiled politely and said: Hello. The guy looked at me, handed me the menu, pointed to it, and said: All of this, serve quickly, and wait for my blind date to come! I......

9. When I worked at Wanda Group, I got along with a handsome executive, and it wasn't long before we both got married. At dinner last night, I asked curiously: Husband, how did you look at me back then? Then looked at her husband with very expectant eyes, only to see him take a small sip of Maotai Flying, sandwiching two peanuts and rice, and said slightly sadly: Alas, I didn't know what I liked about you at that time, I just thought this girl was 26, it is estimated that no one wants it, I should do good. My face changed, and without saying a word, I went to the bedroom and took out the keyboard and threw it at him.

10, my family is very poor, I became an orphan when I was three years old, I came alone for so many years, and I never had a birthday. Today I stood in the cake shop for an hour, and the waiter in the shop thought I was rubbing the air conditioner to drive me away, but I didn't leave. Then she got angry, grabbed a piece of cake and smacked it in my face, shouting to hurry up. I smiled awkwardly and wiped the cake from my face, silently saying in my heart, "Happy birthday to myself." ”?

11, the wife is a woman, bolder than my man. Today at Shanghai Disneyland, I propose to play a roller coaster. The wife said indifferently: "Just go up and see the scenery." When I was ready to start, I took out the screw prop and shouted to my wife: "How did the screws in your seat fall off?" "As a result, the wife was really scared to pee, hahahahaha...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #