1, the company has a female colleague who owes me ten thousand yuan, every time I look for her, every time I drop a sentence: I don't want money, and I want someone to give it to you. Every time I wonder: You are a big living person, I want you

1, the company has a female colleague who owes me ten thousand yuan, every time I look for her, every time I drop a sentence: I don't want money, and I want someone to give it to you. Every time I wondered: What use do I want you to use you for a big living person? This no, the female colleague came to me again, I thought she figured out the money for me, did not expect the female colleague to say: Brother, discuss with you about a matter of no, you see, I do not have so much money to pay you back for the time being, otherwise, I will give you a girlfriend, and then pay you back the money in installments until it is paid off. I thought to myself: if the money is not returned, I can change my girlfriend and go home, so I agreed. That night she stayed at my house with her luggage. But she didn't break her promise, and every day before I went out, she would throw me a ten-dollar bill, and the condition for receiving this huge amount of money was that she would wash and cook for her every day, and more importantly, the money was still paid from my pay card. Those who owe money are uncles, and I believe this!

2, invite the blind date to Haidilao to eat a meal, after eating shopping, the money on the body is spent, send her away, I go to the bank to withdraw money. At the ATM machine was queuing up to withdraw money, my stomach suddenly felt uncomfortable, and I let out several farts in a row. When I went out, there were three people outside still waiting in line to withdraw money. I went to the supermarket, bought a pack of Chinese cigarettes, and came out to find that the few people at the door of the cash machine were waiting outside. I stepped forward and asked them curiously, "What's going on?" Is the ATM broken? A girl couldn't help but smile and said, "No, we're waiting for the smell to spread!" ”

3. The female boss is only 28 years old, and she has already been divorced 8 times. On Sunday, I attended the landlady's wedding again. After the wedding, I couldn't help but ask the landlady: "You look so beautiful, you can't hurt you too late, how can you get divorced so often?" The landlady sighed deeply: "It's all because of domestic violence." I was shocked after listening to it, and quickly advised: "Then your luck is also too bad, how to meet bad people, away from good, this kind of thing is only 0 times and countless times!" After listening, the landlady said a little embarrassed: "Because I look good, my father sent me to learn martial arts since I was a child, and I said that if I don't win, I like to do it." ”

4. We have a delicious barbecue stall downstairs, and I will go to eat wherever I have time. And the boss pays special attention to hygiene, even in the summer, he always wears a mask. I especially like the boss's personality and hygiene awareness, so I often patronize. I didn't know until one day he was chatting with the people at the stall next door. The reason he wears a mask is because the dust on the side of the road is too big.

5. The cousin and a rich old man eloped, and the cousin lived alone with his little nephew. That time the little nephew was sick, and my cousin was working overtime at the company, so I took my little nephew to the clinic for injections. When I arrived at the clinic, I saw that the new nurse in the clinic was giving injections to a strong man with a wide shoulder and a dragon and a tiger. Supposedly a little frightened, the little nurse didn't get into it several times. Finally, everyone in the clinic looked at the big man and said with a crying voice: Sister, can you give a hard time? Since I was a child, I have been most afraid of needles!?

6, today idle nothing to go to the mall, I saw a woman to buy bags, men are too expensive. Woman: "The old lady told you that there are more people who want to buy me bags!" The man exhaled and said, "What do you look like and don't have points in your heart?" The woman was anxious: "What do I look like, why am I like this?" The man pointed at me and said to the woman, "If you take off your makeup, it's worse than her." ”

7, the husband came home from work and went straight to the washroom to take a shower, returned to the room and lay on the bed and shouted: "Come here, wife." The wife came to the room and asked doubtfully, "Honey, have you been drinking?" The husband said, "No! Then, the wife said calmly, "Are you blind!" You didn't see my parents sitting on the couch! The husband looked confused: "Forehead? When will it come..."

8, not long after I got married, although my wife is 10 years older than me, we are still very much in love, and she also bought me my favorite Maybach. Today I was driving the Maybach for a ride on the street, and I didn't expect to be at a fork in the road, a little distracted and rubbed a big aunt down. Frightened, I quickly got out of the car to check the situation and said: Sister, are you okay? The big aunt climbed up and patted her clothes, smiled and said: The boy's mouth is really sweet, sister is fine, you go!

9, this day I patronized shopping, unconsciously walked a long way, the stomach is particularly hungry, so I ordered a braised beef noodles on the side of the road. I picked up a large piece of beef and began to eat it, but I couldn't bite it, so I asked the waiter to come over and say: Why can't I bite it? The waiter said: Can bite, the beef is like this! I said angrily: Whoever can bite me is called daddy. The waiter may think that the beef really can't bite and go to the boss to talk about it. Who knows when the waiter leads the dog over! "

10, today the fruit family held a collective meeting, mainly to discuss the marriage of apples and oranges, may be the temperature of the air conditioner is too low, so the banana is frozen cold. So Banana went to the doctor. The doctor said: Take off your clothes first! I'll check it out for you. Then the banana undressed. The doctor took a picture after seeing it: what a cold, you are clearly a curved spine, go buy back and back!

11, the boyfriend is busy playing games, ignoring me, I am bored, there is no room to talk. I said, "My girlfriend has been married for a year, I haven't conceived a child yet, and yesterday the results came out, my girlfriend's problem." Alas, the man was about to get a divorce. If it were you, what would you do? My boyfriend looked at me, rubbed my head without speaking, and the gentle look made my heart flutter. At night, "Break up, everything that says friends is myself, and the three generations of my family's single transmission can't be broken in me!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #