1, the husband returned early from a business trip, just arrived at the door, heard the voice of a man in the bedroom, very angry, and rushed into the bedroom in a panic. I saw my wife sitting on the bed alone in sweat

1, the husband returned early from a business trip, just arrived at the door, heard the voice of a man in the bedroom, very angry, and rushed into the bedroom in a panic. Seeing his wife sitting on the bed alone in sweat, the husband asked angrily: What about people! The wife replied breathlessly: Say... Say what, how can there be other people in this room. The husband's bedroom, living room, kitchen, under the bed, wardrobe are all looked for again, and sure enough, a figure was found on the bed table, the husband kicked down, and the wife came in later and said, "Hey, where did the master who repaired the air conditioner go?"

2. Playing games in the dormitory to brush the abyss, the school flower who has been in love for a long time suddenly sent me a red envelope. I nodded curiously, it was: 520, and after another minute, she sent me another voice: I like you. I was so excited that I didn't have the heart to play the game. When I went to work the next day, I brought her breakfast. When she saw me, she ran up to me and said, "That, I'm so sorry about yesterday's events!" Curious, I asked, "Why do you say that?" She said, "I sent the wrong person last night, can you give me back the 520 yuan?" ”

3. It was difficult to squeeze on the last bus, and many people on the bus could only stand. I stood next to a beautiful woman holding a Huawei phone playing chicken. Playing and suddenly putting away the phone, I saw the rhythm of getting off the bus, and immediately leaned in front of her. As a result, after waiting for several stops, the beauty had no intention of getting up. I couldn't help but ask: Beauty, you don't get out of the car, why put away the phone? Beauty looked at me blankly: I'm sorry, my phone is out of battery!

4, take your son to Bali fishing, from 8 am to 7 pm, stunned that a fish was not caught. My son couldn't help but laugh at me, and I explained: The little fish meet underwater, and the mother fish tells their children not to be deceived, otherwise they will die. As soon as the result was finished, a big brother next to him caught a fish, and the son shouted: Daddy look, that uncle caught a disobedient child! After another hour, when not a single fish had been caught, my son smiled and said to me, "Daddy, now the water is full of obedient children."

5. The brother-in-law and the female manager of the workshop actually fell in love, and the two people interacted for 3 years. That time, the female manager told him that his parents did not agree with them, thinking that he was a poor worker and did not show up. The brother-in-law started his own business in a huff and tossed for 3 years to become a multi-millionaire. He drove a luxury car to his former girlfriend's house, and after some courtesy, he began to brag to her parents about how decent and how rich he was, and finally said in a mean tone: "If the second elder had agreed to our marriage, maybe now I am still a poor egg, and today I come to thank you." The brother-in-law was secretly proud of himself, but the two old men were stunned: "Have you ever been in love?" She never told us! ”

6. After graduating from college, I went to a company for an internship, and there was another girl who interned with me, who may have been in love for a long time, so the two of us became boyfriend and girlfriend. The two of us rented a small apartment together, which is not enough, which was not the day before the salary was paid today's off-duty girlfriend said to me: "Go to the mall!" Me: "Just go by yourself, tell me what to do!" Girlfriend: "Today all 50% off, limited time rush ah!" Me: "What's the matter with me?" Girlfriend: "Why is it not your business, I have taken so much alone?" ”

7, buddy helped a beautiful woman to repay 58,000 yuan of online loans, and the beautiful woman became his girlfriend. Not long after the two people interacted, the brothers dumped the family. Curious, I asked my buddies: People look so beautiful, how did you break up with them? Dude: I was dating my girlfriend at home that day, watching a very touching movie together, she cried from the beginning to the end, and when the movie was over, my mom, almost didn't scare me out of shit! Me: What's so scary about that? Dude: Can you imagine that she originally looked like a heavenly immortal, but she became an ugly girl because she cried because of her makeup? A comedy goes too far into a horror movie!?

8. In the past few days, the company has arranged to go on a business trip to other places, and I am the only one. After getting on the train today, I found that there was a couple opposite, and it was crazy to show love, so I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. Later, the man went to the toilet, and the woman rubbed her eyes and broke the hawthorn to eat. Suddenly, he took sprite on the table, unscrewed the lid, and forced two hawthorns into it. She was still very happy herself, winked at me, and covered her mouth and smiled playfully. You're shy, your boyfriend's bottle is in his own bag, the bottle on the table is mine!

9. Early in the morning, my brother-in-law called and asked me and my daughter-in-law to take my daughter-in-law and eat radish stewed lamb. This is something that has never happened before, every time I bought a good dish and went to my mother-in-law's house, my brother-in-law only had one mouth. I agreed, and then he said, "I'm in the supermarket, today's radish special price, as long as it is six cents and eight, you don't have to buy radish, just buy five or six pounds of lamb on the line, more we can't finish eating, waste." I......

10. Recently, the company has a new shareholder, and we are asked to arrange an exam. A girl next door asked me: Will you take the exam? Looking at the face of the girl, I: Surely, how simple is this thing? The girl grabbed me by the shoulder and said, "Oh really?" Then I'll rely on you!" Handsome guy! She blocked me after the exam, and we were both fired because I was the penultimate brother.....

11. Just talked about a large project of 1 billion yuan, and convened subordinates to meet in the conference room. At this time, a strange phone call came, and I answered without saying a word. A male voice came from the other end of the phone: "Hey! Are you finished? Your snail powder has arrived, please go downstairs to get it. I immediately got angry: "You're finished!" The aggrieved voice of the delivery man came: "But the name you left behind is that you are finished!" ”

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