Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty, I said, ".

Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty I said: "Is it your mobile phone, I have been waiting for an hour, now people love to lose mobile phones!" Then his husband weakly replied, "Oh thank you." "Give me a thumbs up for my wit."

2. Yesterday my sister went online to buy LV bags. The sister saw a good pair and sent a picture to the brother-in-law to ask for his brother-in-law's opinion. After a few minutes, the brother-in-law replied: "This woman's facial features are quite good-looking, and her figure can be said to be good, but there are too many deliberate traces..." The sister was immediately angry: "What I let you see is a bag!" After a few minutes, the brother-in-law replied: "I also commented on her shoulder bag!" The sister said, "..."

3. The mother-in-law has cancer and needs 1 million! Ask all relatives and friends to borrow money to make up 450,000! Yesterday, the old man walked down the street in a daze and actually picked up a bank card. There is also a sentence written on the back of the glance: "Having money is willful, and the password is 594188!" The old man was ecstatic and hurried to find the nearest bank to withdraw money! The teller asked, "How much to take?" The old man had the courage to say, "50,000!" The teller took out 50,000 and handed it to the old man: "Take 50,000, sir, you still have 950,000 left in your card!" "I went, it turned out that Kari really had money, or a whole 1 million!"

4. The university dormitory sits on the 6th floor, there is no elevator, today I just arrived at the first floor, my roommate called me. She said anxiously: Tingting, there is something I forgot to tell you, it is very important, I want to tell you in person. I rushed back to my dorm room and asked breathlessly: What happened? She said: The water dispenser is out of water, the bucket is too heavy, I can't move it, I can't change the water.

5. After lunch, the wife did not say a word, and went straight to sleep without cleaning up. Looking at my wife who slept like a dead pig on the bed, thinking about her torture of me every day, my brain was hot, and when I went to work, I adjusted the air conditioning mode to heating! When I came home from work, as soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife sitting alone on the couch looking at the door, still holding a baseball bat in her hand. I instantly stiffened and quickly apologized: Wife, I...

6. At the end of the month, it is time to send pocket money, the husband flattered and said: This month, give more pocket money, wife! The wife glanced at him: Give me a reason, husband: all the employees in the country have increased their wages. Wife: What does the national employee salary increase have to do with you? My husband is not willing to shout: I work for you every day, isn't it your employee!

7. Today I paid 2w salary, so I went to the market to buy two pounds of beef and went home. When I got home, I stewed it, and when I was about to come out of the pot, my wife came over and tasted a small piece. Tell me it's a little salty, so he asked me to go downstairs to buy steamed buns and kissed me before leaving. I went to the topsy, and after buying the steamed buns, I knew that this loser had eaten all the beef! At that time, my daughter-in-law still said this: Today 520, what happened to me eating some beef? And I know you don't have enough soup to eat, so I asked you to buy some steamed buns! Not considerate enough?

8. Before the blind date to the cousin to learn from him to tell me about the blind date experience, cousin: now a lot of girls cosmetics left layer right layer of paint can be called a change of face, remove the makeup to scare people to death, you can open your eyes to avoid future regrets! I nodded solemnly after listening. Seeing the blind date brother at a glance I was fascinated, fresh and unworldly eyes and teeth, chatting will see that the sister is also quite satisfied with me, suddenly remembered my cousin's words, I decided to try it. I didn't expect the sister to leave without saying a word, and there was not much to introduce the person Liu Dajie called and shouted: If you are not satisfied, pull down, take the water to splash other people's girls What is the girl doing?

9. Last year, my mother gave me an order not to let me enter the house if I did not bring the object home. So I spent 500 on the "refill" to rent a girlfriend to go home and cope with my family. After the family saw this fake girlfriend, they were very happy and gave her various gifts. After sending her away at the end of the year, she said to me: Or let's make it up! Me: You were moved? She said: No, I can't give back these gifts!

10. Last week, I drove my Maybach during the holidays to take my girlfriend, who I had just known for a few days, to play at a friend's farm in the countryside. Halfway down the road and saw that the car was immediately out of gas, I found a nearby gas station to refuel. The staff of the gas station said: We do not support WeChat Alipay, if you do not have cash, there is an Industrial and Commercial Bank of China 100 meters in front. I turned to my girlfriend and said, "You're here to cheer me up first, and I'll go get the money." The girlfriend nodded and said: Okay, no problem. When I walked to the door of the bank, there was a cash truck parked at the entrance of the bank, and two security guards looked at me very seriously. And the girlfriend actually yelled in the back: come on, come on!

11. My cousin moved his family next to a beautiful colleague's house last week, and the boss laughed at the two of them after he knew: Oh, moving so close, do you have any ideas about our big beautiful woman? The cousin said triumphantly: That is, I am not a pig, I must have had an idea to move! Beautiful colleague - shyly bowed her head, only to listen to her cousin continue: her family has wireless broadband, play games are not stuck at all, too good I don't have to pull the network cable myself! Beauty looked up sharply, her face fierce, and scolded: Roll me!

12. The brother-in-law died many years after ligature surgery, but the mother-in-law suddenly became pregnant. The brother-in-law's mother-in-law did not want the child to have no father, so she gave the child to her brother to raise. This kid, who has a bad brain and is very stupid, is now in elementary school. The exam failed, the brother was angry, and said to the little nephew: "You can't do such a simple question, tell me what you think?" Before the little nephew could open his mouth, his brother said again: "Forget it, it doesn't matter what you think," and then rolled up his sleeve: "Now tell you what I think!" "#Funny#Funny Humor Anecdote##人的生命只有一次 why some people are willing to be mediocre #