1. A female thief came to my house in the middle of the night last night to steal, and I caught her squarely. I was going to hit 110, and she asked me without hurrying, "Did you lose anything?" I replied, "No." "She

1. A female thief came to my house in the middle of the night last night to steal, and I caught her squarely. I was going to hit 110, and she asked me without hurrying, "Did you lose anything?" I replied, "No." She immediately showed a fierce light, "You hurry up, you didn't lose, but I lost." My 7-figure diamond was dropped, just so the police could help me see it. "My brain cramped and I immediately threw her out of my house. Poor me, I searched at home for three days and three nights, but I didn't even see a shadow. Thinking back to the strange smile on the corner of her mouth, I finally knew that I was deeply tricked by her!

2. Today my dad was knitting a sweater on the couch, and I came over at the right moment. I said, "Dad, am I your and my mom's biological baby?" Dad nodded, and I smiled, "Then I want to get a new laptop." Dad's face changed, and he recalled: "It was snowing heavily that year, and you and your mother heard movement in the garbage can on the side of the road..." I said busily: "Dad, I have my own money!" Dad: "I went over with your mother, it turned out to be a dog..." I continued, "But there is still 2500 left!" Dad: "The dog is holding you in the mouth..."?

3. The cousin is a spiritual boy who has learned to smoke from others, and has been for more than ten years now.

Last month, he worked as a driver for a landlady at a company. On this day, the cousin's smoking addict smoked in the stairwell and was seen by the landlady,

She said: "Smoke is good, be careful of lung cancer." The cousin played the soot and said, "I am waiting for someone who told me to quit smoking, would you like to be that person?" ”

4. The landlady blushed and said, "Nasty." "The next day he was fired by the boss because the boss was allergic to the smell of smoke!

I remember when I was young, when I came home from school, I suddenly saw a small golden retriever on the side of the street, and it was frozen and shivering in the winter, so I decided to adopt it when I was so soft-hearted!

Pick it up, put it in your arms to warm it, and then go all the way back.

When I was waiting for the traffic light at a road junction, I suddenly felt that someone was patting me on the back, and I looked back at Uncle, who pointed at me breathlessly and scolded: "Dare to steal my dog, I chased you three streets!" ”

5. Where are the greens you burn? Sallow sallow. The wife immediately replied: "You come home so late every day, of course, you will not know that they have also been 'youth' on my spatula." "Our own opinion: When we begin to pay attention to the handsome and beautiful women around us, and feel that the person next to our pillow is no longer the glory of the past, please do not forget that the most beautiful years of his (her) life are with us.

6, you have to believe that there must be your lover in the world, he will definitely cross the surging crowds in this world, he walks through them one by one, towards you. He will surely come to your side with full of enthusiasm and heavy love, and grasp you tightly. Then see you in front of you who have not washed your hair, full of acne, dark circles, and double chin, politely let go of your hand, and say the next sentence: "I'm sorry, I recognized the wrong person."

7. A friend introduced me to a girl, and the girl had already thrown up three times. I looked at her so uncomfortable and asked, "Are you unwell?" Or is the dish unappetizing? The girl said calmly: "I will confirm with you again, is the Rolls-Royce at the door yours?" I nodded! Girl: "Well, this dish is very suitable for my appetite, so let's continue eating!" "It feels like this girl is inexplicable...

8. The prince and princess have been living happily in the castle since their marriage. One day the dwarf came to the castle and asked the prince, "Tell me how you saved the princess after she fell ill after eating a poisoned apple." The prince looked fondly into the distance and recalled: "That day, I gently called the name of the princess, and she did not wake up; I wrapped her tightly in my arms, and she did not wake; then, I kissed her lips, and she still did not wake up..." "Later, I slapped her hard, and the princess was sick."

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #