1. After work, the female colleague wanted to rub the car and asked me to take her home. To take her to the door, I had intended to leave, but she repeatedly invited me in for tea. I was stunned when I walked in the door, the female colleague's house

1. After work, the female colleague wanted to rub the car and asked me to take her home. To take her to the door, I had intended to leave, but she repeatedly invited me in for tea. When I entered the door, I was stunned, the female colleague's house was really too messy, I had a slight cleaning habit, so I did not plan to go, helped her clean up the house, busy for several hours, the sky was full of stars, which made the house clean. As soon as I looked at my phone, it was already eleven o'clock in the evening, and I offered to say goodbye. The female colleague stopped me and asked angrily, "Brother, after cleaning the housework, you will leave?" So why have you been busy for so long? "I said to keep your house clean and tidy." The female colleague asked, "And then?" "I said I was tired from work and wanted to go home and rest. The female colleague became more and more angry: "What? I can't rest you in such a big house? I suddenly had a stroke of genius and asked, "Do you rent this house?" Rent me one, I take care of cleaning the house and cooking. Then you count me cheaper! The female colleague readily agreed. After moving in, I diligently did housework and cooked every day, but the female colleague was quite critical and talked to me, she said: "Brother, I thought you were enlightened, I didn't expect you.... I ask you again, you have done so much, what is it for?" "The market price of her house is 1600, now count me 500, you say I am for what, less than 1100 rent."

2. My ex-husband won 12 million lottery tickets and gave me 600 choices to divorce me. After getting the money, I married the boss of the state-owned enterprise, and after the marriage, my husband took me to Sanya for a honeymoon and a walk by the beach at night. Suddenly, the wind was blowing, and my husband took me in his arms and said in his mouth: This is going to wrap you up! I listened, was moved to tears, ah, instantly felt that this life is him! I looked up and asked my husband affectionately: Am I so important? Husband: Yes heavy! Wrap me up and I'll be safe!"

3. Working in an electronics factory, with a monthly salary of 12,000, not much to earn, not eaten meat for a long time, paid a salary last month, bought two pounds of beef on the table, and then went to the supermarket to buy a package of salt, and the beef on the table was gone. Angry, I took the rolling pin and asked the two golden retrievers in the house who had eaten them, and both of them looked innocent. Just when I was worried about how to catch the culprit, my husband took the dog food, and the smaller golden retriever rushed over to eat, and the big one didn't even look at it. The husband drew a rolling pin on the big golden retriever's ass and said angrily: You are full, right? You're stealing food, right?

4. In music class, the teacher sang a song called "I'm Ugly But I'm Gentle", which won a round of applause from everyone. Xiaoming looked at the teacher affectionately, and the teacher asked Xiaoming: Was he moved? Xiaoming said: That's not true. Teacher: Oh? Why? Bob: I just don't understand why women nowadays always like to tell half the truth and half lie.

5. I've been lazy since I started working, so I cut my long hair short to make it easier to wash my hair. Meet your girlfriends in the bar, come early, and wait for them at the bar. Seeing two boys who should not be frequenting the bar are also discussing. A boy asked curiously: How to talk to a beautiful woman in a while? Another boy disdainfully returned: We rookies, still talk to beautiful women? If it is a woman, practice your hands first. I saw them walking toward me, and then slowly walking past me.

6. Fa Xiao bought a car, in order to prevent other cars from rear-ending, posted a "Don't Kiss Me" sign behind the new car. Unexpectedly, as soon as I got on the road, I was hit by another car! A little angry to ask the other party for 500 yuan repair fee, the other party said: "Just wipe off a piece of paint, you want 500 pieces, too cruel, right?"

7. He was fired by the president because he discovered the secret of the president and the female assistant. In order to support my family, I went to work for a real estate company. I got up late today, and my boss's female secretary and I were late. When the boss disciplined her, she spat out her tongue at the boss. The boss instantly softened his heart and said, "Forget it this time, not for example." "When the boss disciplined me, I learned that she also threw up her tongue. As a result, the boss yelled, "Are you a dog?" Go find the financial settlement salary, tomorrow will not be used!

8. What a coincidence. A good buddy of mine, a few years ago, got off work and had a lot of drinking and drinking with colleagues. Then charge up the phone bill 00 and rush to someone else's mobile phone card. The next day, after sobering up, I called someone to ask for money, and the real girl said that she couldn't refund it without money. In order to get the money back, the buddies invited guests to dinner... Then the date again. And then four months to get married?

9. When dating male netizens, I bumped into my husband in the hotel. My husband was furious and scolded me, and I went back to my mother's house in a huff. After dinner in the evening, our family watched the phone together. Suddenly, there was a thunderclap, which frightened the mother into screaming. Dad rushed forward to take his mother in his arms, a wave of comfort: "Wife, don't be afraid, I will protect you!" I sat down and said to my dad, "Dad, I need protection too!" Dad listened, did not turn his head back, and said: "Other people's wives are not in my control!"

10. The first time my girlfriend came home with me, she slept in my bedroom and I slept on the couch. Dad came over and wondered, "Why is it here?" I said, "My girlfriend is in it, and I'll sleep on the couch!" So he spilled a glass of water in his hand on the couch where I slept! Then I ignored my dad for a week because I slept on the cold floor!

11. After graduating from graduate school, I didn't find a suitable job and squatted at home all the time. My mother didn't want me to let myself degenerate, so she introduced me to work at the company she first loved. Now I have been working for more than half a month, and today I was called to the office by the manager. He said: "You have been coming to the company for half a month, and your performance is OK, but many colleagues have reflected to me that there is a problem with your tone of voice, and I hope you will correct it." I nodded and went back to my workstation, thinking that I had always been cautious in the company, which would offend people, is this the workplace? The post-90s generation is so unpopular? Thinking about it, I felt aggrieved, and I picked up the coriander on the table and chewed it up... #Funny Moment #Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #