1, the landlord went to the nightclub for the first time, met a super beautiful and good girl. Slowly, I talked to her more and more happily, and then she said to me in a seductive voice, "Can you take me there?"

1, the landlord went to the nightclub for the first time, met a super beautiful and good girl. Slowly, I talked to her more and more happily, and then she said to me in a seductive voice, "Can you take me to a quiet place...?" "Half an hour later, I was sitting alone in the library, and my sister had left me behind.

2, some time ago, I and my friends took the train to the northeast to play, and there was a girl sitting next to me. She asked me: Brother, where are you? I replied: I am from Hebei, what about you? The sister said that she was from Anhui, who knew that the old sister asked again: Brother, then you are from Hebei, will you sing and comment? I replied: Then you are Anhui, will you sing Huangmei opera? She actually sang a bit and said, "Okay, it's your turn!" So, I bowed my head and shrugged my eyes and said: I will pull the saw...

3, funny love affairs, when I was in college, my father strongly opposed me to fall in love, and once my father came to see me. In the afternoon, my father accompanied me to the pedestrian street shopping, who knew that in the clothing store met the senior I had always had a crush on, I peeked at him and found that the senior was also secretly looking at me! Dad seemed to be aware of it, and suddenly hugged my shoulder and said loudly: "Baby, I rarely hide from my daughter-in-law to see you once, you can buy whatever you like...!"

4、Blue. After Xiang graduated, his brother-in-law became Kyo. East courier guy. This afternoon to deliver the courier, he knocked people. Today I went to my husband's house and asked my brother-in-law what was going on. He said with a look of chagrin: Don't mention, yesterday I went to send a piece, the electric tricycle did not pull out the key and put it downstairs in the community, I don't know where the car broke and directly moved, and then I hit a girl who was riding a bicycle. The point is that the girl got up and slowly said that she had not ridden a bicycle for several months, and she would soon arrive home, and she was actually hit by an unmanned electric car! Haha, forgive me for not being able to stop laughing!

5, just visited the park, the inner emergency went to the public toilet, solved the problem in the hand washing, a childish voice behind the sound: "Brother, give a few tissues okay?" "I looked back at a seven- or eight-year-old kid. I asked, "Why did you come to the bathroom without paper?" He said with tears in his eyes: "I brought it, just let the uncle who squatted next door to me borrow it, he said let him see what brand it was..." I went.

6. After a brother won the lottery for 10 million, he called us out to eat eggs. The brother smoked a cigarette and said sadly: The wife takes care of everything, what kind of cigarette is the wife's decision, and the most expensive one only lets you smoke eight yuan. In the middle, everyone is all kinds of complaints, usually a brother who hurts his wife the most said: Smoking this kind of thing my wife does not care about me. Everyone didn't believe it. Then the brother said, "I don't have a fixed brand for smoking, and I pick up whatever cigarette butts people throw." So the brother who won the lottery gave 5 million to the brother who picked up cigarettes!

7, take the train hard seat, the girl next to me brought a large bag of fruit on the luggage rack, I was looking down at the mobile phone, suddenly a grapefruit hit my head, followed by apples, duck pears... Smashing me with all kinds of meat, my sister said to me while picking up fruit: "Brother! This grapefruit is so bad, actually took the lead in escaping, and then we will eat it and get angry for you! ”

8. When I was a senior, I went downstairs after a self-study, thinking that my roommate who was walking in front of me secretly ran up and kicked him hard, shouting: "You actually ran to study for yourself." As a result, the man looked at me pitifully and said, "Big brother, I am a freshman, and I will not dare to do so in the future... ”

9, my son secretly took the money from my wallet today and was beaten by his wife. The wife asked her son, "What are you doing with your father's money?" Don't tell the truth and hit you again. I saw my son pitiful, crying and saying to us, "There is an ice cream that tells me that it wants a warm home, and I want to help it!" ”

10, I remember the first time I went to my girlfriend's house, her 6-year-old little sister opened the door for me, and after entering the door, she has been praising me: Future brother-in-law, you look so handsome! Good figure, like a big star, Barabala's various exaggerations. Emma! The first time I was praised, I was happy to die, and this little girl's mouth was so sweet! When I took out two pieces of Grandpa Mao and gave them to her, I asked her to buy delicious ones. She smiled and took it, muttered a small face and asked me: Future brother-in-law, please tell me, what delicious food can be bought for two dollars?

11. Netizen: I work at a convenience store. Two girls came to buy water, one of which I have been paying attention to for a long time, and I want to know, but I always have no chance. The girl took the water and gritted her teeth for half a day without unscrewing, and looked at me pitifully and said, "I can't twist it, can you help me open it?" I hadn't taken the water yet, and I was snatched away by the girl who was with her! Hao Shuang smiled: "Look at me!" Look at your sister!

12, my sister bought a dress, and my mother said, "Take it and let me try to see if I can wear it." "As a result, the waist was too tight, and it took half a day to barely put it on." My sister said bitterly on the side, "Mom, you have made my new dress bigger!" Mom: "Isn't it the skirt, you made my stomach bigger back then?" ”

13, Dad's baby is not me, but his little potted plant! Dad carefully takes care of Dali every day, afraid of being spoiled! Just now, he drove my car out fishing, and when he came back, he reversed the car and crushed his precious potted plant into flower mud... Then he looked at the shattered potted plant for a while, picked up a shovel for the flowers and loosened the soil, and tied the rear tire of my car...

14, more than one o'clock in the morning, the daughter-in-law has to go out to get dressed, how to say it can not be said. So, I snatched her key fiercely, and there was no car to see how you walked? The wife still went outside, so I snatched her wallet again, and I didn't have the money to see how you went? My wife was still like this, I was angry, slammed the door out, knocked on the door of the old Zhang family, and beat the old Zhang unable to move. Then, the wife honestly didn't want to go out anymore...