1, recently, my husband always squeezed me to sleep, this morning I can't help it: Husband, I know you like me, but you always squeeze me to the edge of the bed to sleep, if I don't rely on all the hard cut

1, recently, my husband always squeezed me to sleep, this morning I can't help it: Husband, I know you like me, but you always squeeze me to the edge of the bed to sleep, if I don't rely on the perseverance of the perseverance to grasp Luo, fall under the bed early, like you? What's the use of the big bed, you roll up the quilt all the way away, and you'll freeze to death if you don't go next to it. The husband said depressedly.

2, yesterday, the sister-in-law came to my house to complain to me! Aunt: "My husband has a bad temper." Me: "Men, they're all a bit grumpy." Sister-in-law: "But he has a very bad temper, and everything he has never seen in his life has fallen down, and he has to cut it like a cloth to be happy." Me: "Is the temper so bad?" Sister-in-law: "Yeah, but I still like to make him angry." Me: "Why?" "Before I get angry with him, I'll put some clothes I don't like next to me so I can naturally buy new clothes."

3, today, the wife is not at home, the beautiful sister-in-law came to my house again, I smiled and asked the sister-in-law: When will you repay me with the 2,000 yuan you borrowed from me last year, that is the private money I have saved so hard, I am now running out of pocket money, anxious to wait for the money to be used. The sister-in-law looked at me and said: You can rest assured, I have my principles. I asked anxiously: What principle do you have, the sister-in-law said: My principle is that this meal can rub a meal is a meal, this money, can drag on a day is a day, really can't drag it out, just ask my sister to help me pay it back. I heard her say this, and quickly said: Okay, well, when you want to pay back this money, whenever you want.

4, the woman thought to herself: "The man on the other side just squeezed my eyebrows and picked the corners of my mouth, want to date?" Oh, stinky hooligan, does sister look like such a casual person? The man thought to himself, "Hiss... The orange I just ate was so sour..."

5. One day, the teacher said in class: "Nicaragua Falls is the largest waterfall in the world." After saying that, the teacher found that Xiaoming was sleeping, so he called Xiaoming up and asked, "What did I just say?" Xiaoming said: "You are talking about the big rag in your house, which is the largest rag in the world."

6, once went on a blind date, relatives at home to introduce, the girl is very beautiful, after seeing let us talk alone, who knows a girl into the house said I have a boyfriend, the family forced no way to come, wait a while you say you don't want to. Well, I'm also an adult beauty once. Came out and said I didn't look at it, and as a result, my mother exhaled with a mouth, I was confused, good people can't be ah!

7, the unit came last year 10 college students, by a big sister into two pairs. Yesterday, a new female college student came to register. The eldest sister pondered for a morning: "To whom to introduce it, to the financial Xiao Chen introduction, the height does not match, to the sales of Xiao Xu said it, the age is not the same!" I asked, "Why do you have to match your own unit?" Unexpectedly, the eldest sister said: "Am I not doing a good job for everyone, how expensive is the money for the part of marriage now, I will save a share of money for everyone every time I put it into a pair!"

8, the girlfriend said: "The students have money in the piggy bank, I also want to save some". The money is earned, you go to the store with me tomorrow to help, give you five dollars a day", she happily agreed. After working hard to earn five dollars, taking her back on the way to see coconuts, ten dollars a piece, she looked at the salary in her hand, and said: Mom, you borrow me five dollars! Tomorrow I'm helping you do the day...

9, my girlfriend hated me for driving Volkswagen Bora, and ran away with a Toyota Corolla. I saw that the world was hot and cold, so I cut my hair and fled into the empty door. This morning, I was sweeping the floor in front of the mountain gate when I saw my white-haired old father. I said lightly: Lord, I have taken refuge in Buddhism, please come back. My father pointed at me and scolded: How do you say that a man of yours mixed into a nunnery and became a monk?

10, because we have all walked so easily to the shadow of others, foolishly noisy, but also firmly believe that this is our own advantages and values. And I indifferently insist on using pale language to do my best to portray the hostility between ideal and reality, as well as the indifference and hope, determination and compromise that have been stored in my heart for a long time. True and true again. Youth, my lovely youth.

11, once bought a sugar gourd, when waiting in line, there was a couple in front of me, as if they were arguing. In order to coax his girlfriend, the boy said, what kind of taste do you want to eat, I bought it for you. The girl said she wanted strawberries, the tone was cold, and the boy said to the sugar gourd seller, want a strawberry, a hawthorn. The girl glared at the boy and said, do you still eat? The boy pouted and said, then I don't want it, boss, hawthorn's don't want it... Then I turned around, wow, and cried!

12, colleagues and girlfriends quarrel these two days, in the Cold War, asked me if there is any way to make the girlfriend ignore him. I said, "You go home and turn off the main water gate, drink all the water from the water dispenser, unscrew the light bulb in the toilet, and put a few viruses in her computer." Naturally, she will open her mouth to talk to you. So he went home and did it immediately. When the girlfriend came home, she found out what was bad at home, thought he was too poor, and now she had to break up with him.

13, the country is too big, can not use the overall property market trend to judge whether to buy a house, the property market downturn, there are still cities in the rise, the property market boom period, there are still cities in the fall. Although housing prices are a complex issue under the policy, they are still inseparable from economic laws and supply and demand!

14, the waiter came to see, went straight to me, said: "Brother, everyone is drunk, just you are sober, you see if you settle the account first!" I explained, "I'm just here to rub rice!" I patted my female colleague and said, "Don't pretend first, give the money to others, and then continue to install!" "The female colleague said that she was really drunk, and I simply began to pretend to be drunk. The waiter called a team of people to come and watch us, and then we pretended to be asleep. When you wake up in the morning, the waiter says you have to add an overnight fee, is it reasonable?