1, the boss's Qianjin looks particularly beautiful, after graduating from Tongji, he came to work in the company. Later, Qianjin became pregnant, and the boss was very angry and asked: Whose child is it? Qianjin did not dare to say it directly

1, the boss's Qianjin looks particularly beautiful, after graduating from Tongji, he came to work in the company. Later, Qianjin became pregnant, and the boss was very angry and asked: Whose child is it? Qianjin did not dare to say it directly, so he replied: It is our company... The boss was furious, and the next morning more than 90 people in the company resigned, and I also prepared the resignation application with trepidation. The boss looked at me and said: Xiao Wu, you don't have to resign. I was so happy, I couldn't imagine that the boss trusted himself so much! As a result, the boss went on to say: You are the ugliest in the whole company, and my daughter will not look at you if she is blind! Qianjin cried and said, "Dad, I'm really blind!?

2, a friend opened a pig factory after graduation, yesterday went to him to help with some work, and then ate and then went home directly. My brother saw that my face was so dirty, so he came to me and asked, "What are you doing?" I thought I could take the opportunity to install one, so I said, "It's okay, I just went out and crashed, little meaning." What I didn't expect was that my brother actually found a pig hair on my head and asked me with a puzzled face: "Did you hit the pig?"

3. A female colleague with a good relationship in the company recently took maternity leave to raise a fetus at home. On the weekends I bought a lot of supplements to visit her at her house, and her mother-in-law was happily stewing soup in the kitchen. I helped her fold her clothes, found that her autumn pants had a few holes, and threw them in the trash. The female colleague quickly picked it up, and I couldn't help but say to her: Can you wear this autumn pants like this? The female colleague laughed and said: You don't understand this, last time my mother-in-law saw my torn autumn pants and privately gave me a big red envelope!?

4, college military training, fine skin and tender flesh I was sunburned with sweat. But there was a strange boy in our class, who also looked white and clean, and still had long hair. This is actually nothing, the most important thing is that he took the initiative to ask for a change of position, ranked behind me, and also pasted very close to me, and even exhaled at my neck from time to time, this person will not be... Just now I came again, I was really goosebumps, yelling: What the heck! He was obviously shocked by my voice, and said with a red face: "Isn't this the sun big, I see that you are fat, and the shadow can cover me!"

5, lonely night, I have insomnia, take out the mobile phone, open QQ. There was a handsome guy in the vicinity of QQ who greeted me. I talked to him for a few minutes and found that the conversation was quite hi! I said add me as a friend, he said he is not even a qq member, can not be friends with me. As soon as I listened, I simply charged him with an annual membership, and then the next day I was blocked by him.

6. My wife especially likes to go back to her mother's house. From Chinese New Year's Eve to today, I don't remember how many times I've been back. The first time he came back with bacon sausages, the second time he returned with peanuts and walnuts, and the third time he came back with his son who earned 500 red envelopes. Early this morning, the old man called me to train me: Can't you keep your wife tighter, run blindly all day, my little family is about to be tossed away by her.

7. The single father-in-law bought the big lottery and won 45 million, becoming a rich man. The father-in-law immediately got along with a beautiful model, and soon the two were married. In the winter, the father-in-law drank too much and knocked on the door in confusion. When the daughter-in-law saw that her father-in-law had drunk again, she said angrily, "I have gone to the wrong door!" The father-in-law turned around and went downstairs, and the little daughter-in-law lay down the window to see him sitting downstairs, afraid of freezing, so she went downstairs and called him. When the father-in-law saw that the new daughter-in-law was about to cry, he said with grievance: "I have drunk too much and walked through the wrong door, and an ugly old lady has thrown me out!" The manager was rarely at home because he was busy at work, and his wife could not stand the loneliness and filed for divorce. In the evening, the manager pulled me to drink with him after work, and when he drank, he began to cry, and he couldn't persuade him. Later, I remembered that the TV series was staged, and when I went up, I slapped it and yelled: Cry what to cry, manly husband, what can't be done, throw away or lose people? He was quiet for a while and then he started crying, and I slapped again, and I cried and hit, not to mention that I survived. Later, he stopped crying and was just about to speak, and I habitually slapped him again... Today, I drove my wife back to my mother's house, and I talked to my husband about divorce at the dinner table. I said, "I heard that the divorce process is more complicated than before, and it is difficult to handle." The old man: "Really?" It's harder to get a divorce later! Then the old man said: "If you really want to leave, then no matter how complicated you are, don't be afraid..." Suddenly, I felt that the back was suddenly cold, and when I looked back, my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were standing behind us with brushes together, staring at us viciously...

8, the brother is in love with a woman, but in recent days he has always been sullen. In the evening I called him up for a drink with a few buddies, and he confided. He said, "Would you accept a man who has lived with someone as a wife?" A brother said: "Second-hand houses can be bought, but if you die, it is another matter!" ”

9, the ex-girlfriend ran away with a man who was shorter and uglier than me for money last few months, called me these days to say that the man abandoned him, remembered my good, I resolutely rejected her, she is now crying and making trouble, saying that now she only has me, do not promise her she will go to cut her wrists to commit suicide. So the question is, do I go to her funeral in red or in black?

10, when playing dating software, I actually talked about my brother! I really didn't expect my brother to be such an honest person, who actually carried his sister-in-law behind his back. It's fun! I pretended to be a student sister and my brother chatted, and the more we talked, the happier we were. Three days later my brother took the lead in proposing to go to the hotel, I agreed, and then agreed on a time and place! I waited in the room ready to laugh at my brother and blackmail by the way, and then my sister-in-law kicked the door with a large group of people to catch the adulteress...

11, when eating children want to drink juice, glass bottle, brother screwed for half a day did not open, handed to Brother Li, Brother Li also tried or did not unscrew, so I took it to try, Brother Li said: You are even worse, or let me take one. Before I finished speaking, I easily opened it! Looking at Brother Li's unbelievable expression, I told him that my sister had never hidden her strength, but she just didn't have the opportunity to perform!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #