1, just went to get a haircut, a polished bald uncle walked in, the haircut brother greeted: "Hello, are you a facelift or?" The uncle looked around the store: "Find the best in your store."

1, just went to get a haircut, a polished bald uncle walked in, the haircut brother greeted: "Hello, are you a facelift or?" The uncle looked around the store: "Find the best barber in your shop, give me a short haircut on the back, and push the ears higher!" "Then I took a wig out of my satchel and stuffed it into the barber guy's hand...

2, I am a student of the Polytechnic University, there is a female bully in our class, no matter what things will be seen again!? I found that whenever she did a difficult math problem, she habitually pulled the hair on her forehead up, revealing her big forehead!? I was curious and asked her why. She said: Because the CPU needs good heat dissipation when it is running at high speed, otherwise it will lead to crash!?

3, I was lying on the couch watching a martial arts drama, a martial arts master was practicing internal skills, and white smoke was rising from his head... My brother sneaked behind me, sprayed a cigarette into my hair, pointed at my smoky hair, and excitedly shouted to his nephew: "Son, look!" My aunt is mad! The nephew exclaimed, "My aunt's hair is on fire!" Then a glass of cold boiling water poured over my head...

4, in the morning I was doing hair in the barbershop, there was a girl sitting next to me, from the moment she sat down, the barber has been selling her a variety of packages: Oh, this 6600 hair dye package is really too suitable for you, you dye it must look good... I saw that my sister was about to be deceived, and I really couldn't help but say to her: Don't believe him, just grow up like you, it's useless to dye anything!

5, my husband has face blindness, I remember a time when I was dating, I arrived early, sat on the bench and saw him walking towards me in the distance. I saw him looking left and right five meters away from me, looking down and sending a message. Feeling the phone vibrate, I looked down: "I'm here." Also, there's a girl here who looks really like you. "I:

6, the brother-in-law divorced last year, and this year found a beautiful model. So I asked the old man to go to the wedding, so the old man planned to go to the barbershop for the whole hairstyle. Just go to the barbershop and say to the barber, get a hairstyle, the hair stylist takes a look, okay! Three hairs. Make a partial point, who knows, doing it, the hair fell out. No way, then get the middle score, and as a result, I got it and dropped another one! The old man looked annoyed and said to the barber, "Forget it! Don't be whole, I'll still go with the shawl! ”

7, last night my wife made rice paste, my daughter said a word on my ear, my wife was not happy: "Do you mean that the rice I made is not delicious?" The daughter immediately said, "No, no, I swear to Heaven, if I say you don't eat well, I'll let you... Let... Just let the lollipop fall from the sky!

8, the electric toothbrush bought online arrived, a rectangular box. After work, I took the courier to the elevator upstairs to go home, fiddled with the long box in the elevator, accidentally touched the toothbrush switch, and suddenly made a buzzing vibration sound. Two young women in the same elevator handed me a contemptuous look, and scolded me for being perverted, neurotic... Mother, who do I provoke? What a depressing day!

9, I did not expect that when I was in high school, the family was demolished, and my father took the money to open his ideal barbershop. As soon as the door opened this morning, a female customer arrived. Probably afraid that I recommend dyeing and perming hair for hairstyles or something, as soon as I sat down, I said to me: "I'm pregnant, I can't do anything, you just need to cut it slightly!" This sentence was so lethal that I blocked what I had to say, and I was stunned for a moment, and I couldn't help but worship: "Big brother, I really obeyed!" ”

10, at noon in the dormitory to play mobile phone, almost out of power, is looking for a charger. The boss suddenly called, and the two rings were automatically shut down before they had time to answer. No matter how much, first find the charger, after turning left and right, find that the charger fell out of bed, drill in and take it. At this moment, the boss came to the door of the dormitory and saw me drilling under the bed, yelling: "Special, I want to ask you to do something, hang up my phone, know that I am coming up, and want to go under the bed to hide, OK you..."

11. The general manager sits in his lawyer's office. The lawyer asked, "Do you want to hear the good news first, or do you want to hear the ring news first?" "Tell me the good news first." The general manager said eagerly. "Your wife found a photograph worth half a million dollars." "Great," the general manager was excited, "and what about the bad news?" "This is a picture of you and your female secretary."

12, no one at home, take your boyfriend home, and then... Unfortunately, when the little nephew saw me, he asked me: "Aunt, what are you two doing?" At this time, I was embarrassed and explained: "My aunt has a cold and fever, this uncle will blow some cool air into my aunt's head?" He sighed and left. Unexpectedly, the next day he heard about the other little girl in the kindergarten, he had a cold, and he put his arms around the little girl and blew it to his mouth, and after blowing it, he said, "I'll blow you some cool air, it will be fine in a while, my aunt taught me." "What about my old face?"

13. Shi Tai went to Chanel's store to buy clothes and saw a green lace long dress. At night, the abbot circled around Shi Tai and commented: "You are quite similar to kelp in the deep sea." Shi Tai just wanted to get angry, when the little monk suddenly retorted: Shi Tai is not like kelp. Shi Tai wiped his son's head and said, "You're still good!" Who knew that the little monk came again: Kelp is obviously slender and long.....

14, 520 That night, the friend came back breathlessly and asked him what was wrong? He said: Your future sister-in-law only sent me 5 yuan and 2 yuan, which is too small, and she got angry and left. Me: You send him 1314 or 520 yuan, friend: Neither, I didn't send it. Then, I explained to my friend that the friend directly sent 250 yuan to his girlfriend, but fortunately his girlfriend was discouraged.