1. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty I spoke

1. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the work she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react to her husband. Witty I said: "Is it your mobile phone, I have been waiting for an hour, now people love to lose mobile phones!" Then his husband weakly replied, "Oh thank you." "Give me a thumbs up for my wit."

2. With my girlfriend Qingmei Zhuma, because she failed the college entrance examination, I also gave up going to Tsinghua to accompany her to work in other places. Yesterday, when she was working the night shift, she called and said, "Let's break up, I don't want to suffer in the rental house with you." "I didn't agree because I knew why. When I got home early the next morning to find my girlfriend gone, I hurried to call and no one answered. Half an hour later, my girlfriend sent a message: "Don't contact again, break up." I was angry and sent a voice: "I used a battery car to carry you for three years, he only used a Mercedes to carry you for 3 days, you ran away with him, even if you ran, you still have to take the pot away, how do you let me eat?" ”

3. Her aunt introduced her to a local tycoon to go on a blind date, and she was definitely short and round. When I went to the agreed restaurant, my girlfriend couldn't get out of the car and asked me to go first to see her. If the other party is handsome, send her a message, and when she comes out again, the ugly will directly flash people. As soon as I entered the restaurant, I saw a handsome guy sitting on the established seat, which was exactly the type that my girlfriend liked. The handsome man saw me, a look of surprise: you yourself are actually much better than the photo, I did not recognize it, before looking at the photo, I was almost not ready to come.

4. I picked up my brother at the school gate for a year before my son was out of school. I overheard what seemed to be a first-grader talking about the class leader. Boy: "Jiaxi, I originally wanted to choose yours, but your name is too difficult to write, I won't, I had to choose someone else." The little girl was very sad: "I knew that I would let my parents give me a simple name!?"

5. After living with a divorced landlady for half a year, she broke up with me and gave me a house as compensation. I lived alone in a big house and was particularly lonely, so I found a beautiful woman to share. She's a female anchor, and I often watch her live. On this day, the beauty said in the live broadcast: I am going to move tomorrow, and I can't broadcast it live. When I heard this news, I panicked, can't I see beautiful women in the future? So I immediately ran to knock on the door to confess, but I didn't expect the beauty to agree! I asked her where she was going, and I wanted to go too, and the beauty said, "Isn't it upstairs?" The floor is high and the light is a little better.

6. When I was seven years old, I went to the fields all day to play, the tan was not slippery, and my cousin always bullied me. Once he snatched my sugar cake and held it high above my head, and I couldn't grab it. me off, I picked up a small bench and walked over to him. He thought I was going to hit him, and in the moment of his fright, I put the little bench in front of him. Step on the bench and give him a brain crash, bounce you, bounce you.

7. Recently, there was a drama that was particularly popular, I was lying in the bedroom chasing Korean dramas, and my roommates smiled at me when they had nothing to do. I shouted excitedly, "What are you doing!" Laugh and laugh! Can you talk..." The host calmly looked at the bottom of the bed in the closet and said: "Put on the headphones to look at the mobile phone, otherwise I always think there are men in your room..."?

8. I graduated from Qufu Normal University with my girlfriend, I went to the BMW 4S shop to sell cars, and my girlfriend went to the local middle school to work as a Chinese teacher. One day at the beginning of the school, my girlfriend asked me to wait for her in the bmw car at the school gate, so I drove a test drive in the store. A large number of parents waited at the school gate for their children to finish school, and an uncle asked me: Boy, wait for your younger brothers and sisters, right? I smiled and replied: I'm waiting for my girlfriend. In an instant, a bunch of people around me stared at me...

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