1. A traffic policeman is issuing a ticket, and a man with a cigarette comes over and shouts: ''What else will you do besides the ticket?' The traffic police ignored it, and the man continued: "There is a kind of dragging away|" The traffic police were furious

1. A traffic policeman is issuing tickets, and a man with a cigarette comes over and shouts: ''What else will you do besides the ticket?' The traffic police ignored it, and the man continued: "There is a kind of dragging away|." "The traffic police are very angry, and the man continues: there is a kind of dragging away!" The traffic police couldn't bear to take out the walkie-talkie, and when towing the truck, they kindly said to him: ''Come to the five brigades in the afternoon to deal with it!'" Man: "It's my bird business, the car is not mine!" After humming a little song, he rode away on the battery car. 2. I am buying vegetables to go home after a salary increase, and when I get home, I see my parents staring at me with big eyes. And I asked them, "Why are you arguing?" My father said, "It's all you, you don't have a daughter-in-law when you're so old, if you give us a grandson to play with, will we quarrel?" "I thought to myself: Dad, you have come here to make a move to move the tiger away from the mountain?" Sure enough, my mother changed her gaze at me, then completely ignored my father, and then directly pointed at me and scolded.

2. This evening, I had a barbecue with the old irons at the stall. I was very excited to see the three college students at the table next to me talking about ideals, talking about the future, and talking with flying eyebrows. Kindly I stepped forward to remind: Students, from the moment you step into the society, you will find that what you are talking about now is a fart, don't ask why, explain that you can't understand! After saying that, I picked up my mobile phone and said to the screen: Old irons, if you think I am right, the small gifts are brushed up...

3. Yesterday I received wind chills, I had a high fever at night, and I couldn't bear to go to the hospital for injections. Then I said to the doctor, "Doctor, I don't have to do a skin test this time, anyway, I have never had allergies before doing a skin test." Doctor: "Have you bought 10,000,000 in the color drift?" Me: "No, every time I buy and every prize I don't win 10,000,000, it's a small prize!" Doctor: "I didn't win before that, so I didn't have to claim the prize after that, and I didn't win it before anyway!" ”

4. My cousin failed the college entrance examination and failed to be admitted to Huazhong University of Science and Technology. He was particularly upset and took a little money to go to the field to relax. When he returned, he found that his aunt was pregnant. The cousin was suddenly shocked and ran to ask his uncle: I am so old, why do you want to be small? My uncle looked at him and said calmly: This is like playing a game with you, the tuba practice is wasted, I have to practice the trumpet.

5. I have always had a crush on the president's female secretary, but I don't have the courage to confess. Last night, she suddenly asked me to go to a Western restaurant for dinner. After eating, she suddenly took out a bottle of medicine and prepared to eat it. I asked her with concern, "What's wrong with you?" What disease is born? "She said what folic acid it was, and told me not to worry about not being a serious disease." Then she confessed to me and asked me, "Will you marry me in 1 month?" "I went, of course I did, and happiness came so suddenly!"

6. This afternoon the boss came to the company to inspect the work and saw a man lying on the table playing with the landlord. The boss angrily asked, "How much do you earn in January?" The man was stunned, looked at the boss, and said, "6,000 pieces!" The boss listened and took out 6,000 yuan from his wallet and threw it at him, yelling: "This is your salary this month, give me away immediately!" The man walked away with the money in a daze. The boss angrily asked the front desk girl: "Which department is he?" The front desk girl: "The company sent a courier, he came to get it!" ”

7. I heard that my boss's daughter had recently been divorced, so I bought ten soft Chinese and sent them to him. The boss understood that my mind was not ambiguous, and directly matched my girlfriend to me. After marriage, she learned that she was previously the champion of taekwondo in the province and had a bad temper. During the quarrel, she beat me up, and I said to my wife: Two people have a contradiction, they can be resolved without fighting, and they must learn to be reasonable. Now that my wife is no longer directly engaged, she gently asks me to kneel down and listen to her tell me the truth of the past stories..."

8. The next day at work, the female boss somehow looked at the female colleague unpleasantly, deducted her salary for a day, and then the female colleague cried for a day, I wondered, then the money is still afraid of losing that little money. Out of curiosity, I unlocked my phone at night while she was asleep, and the account balance was zero. I suddenly realized that I was being tricked. If she wasn't as beautiful as a fairy, I really... Really angry and crying.

9. The female thief went to Dazhuang's house to steal, stole 300 yuan, and flew away, and that night the female thief returned and woke up the sleeping Dazhuang. Da Zhuang: "Who are you?" Female thief: "I am a female thief, I stole 300 pieces from you, and now I give it back to Da Zhuang: "You have entered the wrong door, I have not thrown money!" "Female thief: You can't be a person with a conscience, my diamond ring was lost when I was stealing at home, you should return it to me quickly, otherwise I will call the police!"

10. Buy apples with your girlfriend. The beautiful woman who sold the fruit bowed her head and gave us apples. My girlfriend suddenly secretly said to me, you see, the boss lady's chest is exposed when she looks down! Yeah, I didn't think much of it either, and turned my head, well, sure enough. For an instant, I suddenly felt a chilling feeling. The girlfriend snorted, turned to the boss lady and said, Boss, give me another durian, it's okay to be familiar with it, I want to find the most thorns.?

11. My ex-wife hated me so much that she remarried with her son. My mother-in-law felt sorry for me, so she asked me to marry my sister-in-law, who had just divorced. My wife came home from work last night and made braised pork ribs, which tasted very good. I ate a lot, but she didn't eat it, saying, "I don't want to eat." "She went online after dinner, and I quietly approached to see what she was doing and saw her typing 2 words on the web page. I thought to myself, "My wife is so nice, I guess I want to learn how to make it taste better, right?" Then watch her continue typing: "The ribs have a peculiar smell, will they die after eating?" ”"

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