1. There is a female colleague in the company who owes me ten thousand yuan, every time I look for her, every time I drop a sentence: I don't want money, and someone can give it to you. Every time I wonder: You are a big living person, I want you

1. There is a female colleague in the company who owes me ten thousand yuan, and every time I ask her for it, every time I drop a sentence: I don't want money, and someone can give it to you. Every time I wondered: What use do I want you to use you for a big living person? This no, the female colleague came to me again, I thought she figured out the money for me, did not expect the female colleague to say: Brother, discuss with you about a matter of no, you see, I do not have so much money to pay you back for the time being, otherwise, I will give you a girlfriend, and then pay you back the money in installments until it is paid off. I thought to myself: if the money is not returned, I can change my girlfriend and go home, so I agreed. That night she stayed at my house with her luggage. But she didn't break her promise, and every day before I went out, she would throw me a ten-dollar bill, and the condition for receiving this huge amount of money was that she would wash and cook for her every day, and more importantly, the money was still paid from my pay card. Those who owe money are uncles, and I believe this!

2. Invite the husband to go to KTV to sing at night, play too hi, sleep in KTV - stay. I woke up early the next morning— looking at my phone, there were 105 missed calls, all from my wife! Frightened, I quickly asked the old man, "What should I do?" The old man thought about it, decisively turned off my mobile phone, and pulled out the SIM card and broke it in half. Then the old man said to me: "I will go out to get a new card, and tell my girlfriend that your mobile phone card is broken, so I changed to a new number!"

3. Using my father's credit card to tip a female anchor for ten consecutive days, spending a total of 820,000 yuan, the female anchor was finally impressed by me and became my girlfriend. That time I took the female anchor home, and the family was only my grandmother in her 90s. The 90-year-old grandmother was particularly happy and couldn't help but ask this and that. Her ears are not very good, and she speaks loudly. As the woman flipped through the family photo album, grandma pulled me aside. Then she shouted at me: Rest assured, I have taken off your picture with the woman before!

4. My wife has her own company, I am still a worker, I think she is blind! Sure enough, my mother also asked her that day: Alas, you are so powerful, how can you look up to my son? The wife said: Like my conditions, anyway, whoever marries you have to rely on yourself. It is better to marry him and rescue this elderly young man who is almost thirty years old and has been on a blind date no less than fifty times!

5. A rich man's wife asks while the rich man is drinking coffee: Dear husband, if you fly into space, what do you want to do the most? The rich man thought about it: Look at what kind of women on the other planet look like. The rich man's wife did not speak, picked up the rich man's Jingdezhen purple sand coffee cup, and as soon as her hand was loose, it fell to the ground and shattered. Frightened, the rich man asked with trepidation: What are you doing here? Wife: Nothing, I just want to see if the earth is still attractive...

6. I went to Maotanchang Secondary School because the class was full of bullies, and I was under a lot of pressure. Once, I was writing my homework when I suddenly had a stomachache and I rushed to the toilet. After going to the toilet, I didn't wash my hands in a hurry and went back to my homework. I sat in the position and drank a sip of water, and when I felt cold, I threw up directly. The same table came slowly: "People wash their hands after going to the toilet, you rinse your mouth after going to the toilet, what are you doing in the toilet?" ”

7. The girlfriend's family is from the northeast, has strong assets, and is an only child. In order to be with her, I did not hesitate to become a door-to-door son-in-law. After getting married, we both lived a very happy life, and I was used to living in the north. It snowed all night, and it was all white outside. The next morning, I got the tools and took my son to the square to build a snowman. Before going out, my son and I discussed: "Dad, after a while we went to the square, you stood still, I shoveled snow on you, let me build a tall and big snowman who can run and blink, okay?" ”

8. When my girlfriend was in college, her mother gave birth to another child, a boy. After graduation, the girlfriend did not dare to find, and has been working to earn money to study for his brother. National Day holiday, girlfriends back to their hometown, after eating, girlfriends brother's mobile phone can not be found. Just let his girlfriend call his phone and see where he is at home. As soon as I dialed it, I heard a ringtone: Grandpa, the grandson called you... If it weren't for her girlfriend and her mother pulling her father, her brother would have been beaten half to death!

9. Last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, and my wife, who had just got my driver's license, actually drove my Maiten back to her mother's house. I told my wife to pay attention to safety when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent telephone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbag, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

10. My husband has been working overtime regularly recently, and in order to treat my husband, I decided to make braised pork for my husband at night. After the ingredients were prepared, I was ready to start cutting the meat, only to accidentally cut my fingers. At this time, the daughter who was watching TV came to the kitchen, looked at the blood stuck on the meat and the board, and the daughter said solemnly: Are you coloring the braised meat, or are you dripping blood to recognize your relatives? #年度搞笑名场面 #