Always feel that the marriage is not satisfactory, do not rush to divorce, see if you are "emotionally exhausted"?
In the same life, some people feel very happy, and some people feel very painful, which is actually a different perception of happiness.
Fan Miss Wang message:
I have been married to my husband for several years, and I chose him before marriage to see him honestly, but after marriage, I knew that honest people are terrible.
In the past few years of marriage, the husband has never coaxed himself, every time the couple quarrels and conflicts, the husband is in a cold war with himself, and finally he slowly digests it, and one person bears everything.
Some time ago, when he came home from work, he lay down and played with his mobile phone, and he complained about him at that time, saying that he would not do anything when he came home, just like the uncle, the child was not his own, and the husband did not know to coax it.
Because of these few complaints, the husband has been in a cold war with himself for more than a month, this marriage has made him physically and mentally exhausted, want to divorce and afraid that the children do not have a complete home, and will be wronged in the future, should I divorce?
This may be the voice of many female friends, so how to analyze this problem, and how to solve this problem?
First of all, we have to understand one thing, women complaining to men is actually asking for attention, every woman who likes to complain, there is basically a man behind him who will not coax his wife.
In fact, don't look at women complaining, many times as long as a little coaxing will be fine, the woman will be happy to finish the work.
But many men just can't coax their wives, and adult life is not easy, many times home is very tired, naturally there is no heart to coax.
But the more men do not coax, the more women love to complain, the contradictions between two people accumulate deeper and deeper, men do not love to coax, women have deeper resentment in their hearts, and eventually form a vicious cycle.
The husband of Miss Wang above is an honest person who is not good at coaxing his wife and is not very willing to coax his wife, and since he chose such a man in the first place, he should accept such a result.
Miss Wang and Miss Wang's husband, in fact, are people who want each other to pay attention and then guide themselves, both of whom are passive receptive, not active offensive.
They all hope that the other party will take care of their emotions, but they do not know how to take care of each other's emotions, such a marriage is indeed very painful, and even can not last long.
Miss Wang already has the idea of divorce, and the reason why she has not yet chosen to divorce is that she is worried that her children will be wronged in the future, so there is no divorce for the time being.
Miss Wang obviously does not have the ability to manage a good marriage, the child is wronged is inevitable, if it is really divorced, it is bound to be a mother and a father, and life is miserable.
And the child also loses a complete family, lack of paternal love and father's investment, which is very detrimental to the growth of the child.
And in the process of raising children alone, women tend to accumulate more resentment, and then ask for emotions from their children, which is why many single mothers have a deeper control over their children.
Such a child's childhood is very painful, both lack of money and love, the mother's mental control, and emotional demand, will make the child collapse.
Even if you marry a second time with children, you can't find a man with good conditions, and the marriage relationship is more complicated, which is not conducive to the growth of the child, and the child suffers more grievances.
Many people do not understand the first marriage, let alone expect the second marriage to live a good life, in fact, most of the second marriage does not have any happiness to speak of.
Therefore, compared with the various lives before and after the divorce, if you are not a person with strong ability, you still have to break the idea of divorce as soon as possible.
Single-mindedly run the current family well, less complaints, more empathy for everything, maybe many problems will be solved.
Just like Ms. Wang wants her husband to take the child after work, it is completely possible to change the way, for example, she is busy now, the child needs someone to accompany, let the husband go to accompany for a while, a little petite, rather than coming up is to accuse and complain.
Some people say that marriage is the graveyard of love, in fact, this is not wrong at all, the real love is only in those years, and it will return to the chai rice oil and salt later.
As long as the general direction of marriage is no problem, some small things should not be competed, and do not always grasp each other's small problems.
If you want the other party to do something, just say it directly, don't come up is a complaint, everyone's life is not easy, no one likes to listen to others complain.
Don't let others guess their own minds, others are not roundworms in the stomach, and don't think about how the other party is so lazy, so irresponsible...
This is actually emotional intriguation, the more you think about it, the more angry you are, you compete with yourself, the other party does not think so much at all, and you have deduced pi in your mind to hundreds of decimal places.