I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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This article, I want to talk about whether you should keep a distance from the opposite sex after marriage.
In the recent hit TV series "Perfect Partner", the husband of the character played by Gao Yuanyuan has a relatively close relationship with friends of the opposite sex because he always helps friends of the opposite sex unconditionally, which has caused dissatisfaction with the role played by Gao Yuanyuan, which has caused heated discussion among netizens.
Seeing this topic, there is a lot to say, because this topic is related to many families, related to the different attitudes of men and women towards family and children and the opposite sex.
Men and women have different attitudes toward marriage and children
Let's take a look at how marriage feels differently about men and women.
Most of the examples we are talking about, and of course very few, are beyond the scope of this article.
After a woman gets married and has a baby, her social circle naturally shrinks, basically isolated from the opposite sex, only some of the partners at work are of the opposite sex, there is no contact after work, and the work is only limited to the communication of work content.
If a woman becomes a stay-at-home mom after giving birth, it is even simpler, and her social circle is completely insulated from the adult opposite sex.
Women naturally put their minds on children and families, and every day their minds are endless housework.
Since becoming a mother, the girlfriend circle has shrunk from a few to one or two, that is, these one or two rarely sit together and get together, because the mother will be entangled in various trivia, even if there is an arrangement, it is not easy to get out, or it is not easy to have time to eat with the girlfriend, and it is not practical.
With a bad experience, in the end, he simply stopped going out and took care of the children.
Let's look at men again.
After having a baby, the man's life state has not changed, his life is still the same, and there are still a few friends of the opposite sex who are often in contact with his circle of friends.
Marriage and children, the changes that bring men, are not so great, and only a very small number of people put all their minds into the family and children.
As long as there is no crooked mind, or there is no action in the mind, he is already a good husband and a good father.
Whether to distance yourself from the opposite sex after marriage is a big difference between men and women
Those who support "keeping our distance" are basically women.
Men do not think so, men will think that after having a family, a person should also have their own spiritual privacy and space, friends are a part of life, can not disappear because of marriage, this is a spiritual confinement.
Their friends of the opposite sex are constantly changing, because former friends of the opposite sex, after getting married and having children, gradually insulated from the opposite sex, and there is no time to talk to the opposite sex, but there is no relationship, there will be new friends of the opposite sex constantly intruding into their world.
Of course, there are also a small number of women, even if they are married, they will still maintain contact with the opposite sex.
Just like in "The Perfect Partner", the woman who constantly asks Chen Shan's husband for help also has her own marriage.
There are still boundaries between friends of the opposite sex, which is a sensitive relationship.
Needless to say that after forming a family, after both parties have boyfriend and girlfriend, they will also mind that the partner and another opposite sex maintain a relatively close relationship state.
Of course, if we can be absolutely pure, we have nothing to say.
Just like the relationship between Liang Sicheng, Lin Huiyin and Jin Yuelin.
Lin Huiyin even admitted that she loved two people at the same time, but she finally chose family and children.
And Jin Yuelin has always taken good care of Lin Huiyin, but has never thought of it, and has always kept at a gentleman's distance, insisting that "my kindness to you is my business, you don't have to respond."
But how many men can become Jin Yuelin's cognition and control, after all, people are philosophers, and ideological awareness is not something that ordinary people can have.
It is precisely because of his gentlemen, the talented women Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng, who will allow him to appear in their lives and maintain a close relationship.
Later, Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng left successively, and Jin Yuelin was unable to move until his old age, or relied on Liang Sicheng's son Liang Congzhi to help take care of him, like a family, and the reason why Jin Yuelin was taken care of by Liang Congcheng was also because of his selfless efforts.
When the Liang family fled to Lizhuang in Sichuan for refuge, Lin Hui's body was very weak due to a recurrence of lung disease, and when Jin Yuelin rushed to Lizhuang, he saw the embarrassment of their family and shed tears, and specially raised several hens, and the hen laid grass eggs to Lin Huiyin to supplement his body.
This friendship has transcended the boundaries between men and women and risen to the level of relatives.
Have more time to spend with your children and family, and don't want private space without Jin Yuelin's understanding
Since the family has been formed, since they have children, both parents should pay more for the family.
When retaining privacy and solving problems for the opposite sex, it is better to accompany children and partners more and enhance the feelings of family relations.
There is no problem in wanting a private space, but the family and children, originally need to pay, if you blindly seek freedom and privacy, do not want to let the partner get involved in their own private space, it is better not to form a family for the time being, do not want children.
If you are ready to start a family and have children, you must be prepared to sacrifice.
Because once two people form a family, many problems are not a person's problem, when making a choice, we must take into account the feelings of the partner and the child, if because of the personal choice to make the partner have a sense of hurt, the child lacks companionship, it is not a competent person.