If you want a man to be inseparable from you, you don't need too many fancy skills, you just need to understand two things:
A: It can provide emotional value to men
B: It can often make men have emotional fluctuations, and even can be influenced by you at any time
In fact, the core of emotional value has several requirements:
First of all, what does it mean to reduce the "negative interaction loop"? That is to say, in the process of interaction, do not output some negative emotions with the other party, for example, accusations, complaints, suppression, everything that makes the other party angry, must stop.
In fact, it can make the other party feel happy and recognized in spirit. That is to say, through interaction, let the other party be very happy mentally, even full, and let the man have a sense of accomplishment that you identify with.
Finally, when the other party encounters difficulties and contradictions, as well as negative emotions, you can give reassurance and understanding, and help the other party get out of the trouble of negative emotions.
Imagine a scenario, for example, during a relationship, or in a marriage, you want the other party to have more time with you, but the other party is very busy, and always refuses in the face of your requests.
At this time, many girls will say something like: "Why are you like this, the answer is that I always let me pigeon" or: "Do you only have work and socializing in your eyes, and you don't take my feelings in your heart at all" or: "Do you not love me anymore, do you not care about me" or "
And the most important point is "emotional kidnapping", you will say to each other: "We are in love, you do not accompany me, then why should we be together"; "We are married to get better and better, but you are always busy, there is no time to accompany me, let me feel that marriage has no meaning".
No matter which of the above, you think, what will happen to the other party when they hear such words? It must be unhappy, and negative emotions on the head, let you point out the man, or will coax you, but coax this kind of thing, the man may not last too long, especially he feels that you are completely unreasonable, do not understand him, over time, the other party will gradually lose the comfort in the intimate relationship, will also feel that with you, completely lost their own life.
What about a straight man who doesn't know how to let you? They will scare you with aggressive words: "I want to work, my life is not only love." People are right about this, but if you listen to it, you won't be comfortable, and then in the words that come and go, there is a "negative interaction cycle".
That is to say, in this interaction of yours, there are back and forth words, all of which are negative emotional feedback. And these are low-value emotional outputs, or even worse.
How does a woman with high emotional intelligence output high emotional value?
"You have always been so busy, not to accompany me to is a small matter, I can also find something to do, but you are always so busy, the body can not eat ah, than make money, in fact, I hope you can be healthy, make yourself more relaxed, do not just think about making money every day, give yourself so much pressure." 」
You think, the grievance may be you, but you also understand that men want to do things, not you can change in three words, then since you can't change, quarrels will also affect feelings, so why not retreat into the future? Can not only reflect your empathy, but also make men feel guilty about you, isn't it a double win?
Maybe men will be busy when they hear your words, but once they pull out, they will definitely make up for you for this time, and even feel that they are often so busy, really sorry for you.
Remember that your mood will directly affect the mood of the other party. If you are in a good mood, the other party feels very happy, on the contrary, the other party will be very annoyed and unhappy.
After doing emotional counseling for so long, I found that men, sometimes, are actually very simple, although some men are more axis, but what they want is really two words: happy. As long as he is happy, he is willing to stay with a woman who can bring him a happy mood, and vice versa, he will want to escape.
Women with high emotional intelligence will not only be able to talk, but also have good insight. They will find out what aspects of men's needs are through the small details of men's daily lives.
For example, men also have insecurity, men also lack love, men also need to identify with the attention of the times, of course, these are derived from the projection of the original family.
The woman with high emotional intelligence will not look at things so one-sidedly, will understand the man's more native family, will judge what the man's current needs are by understanding the man's emotions and motivations in each period, and then give satisfaction.
Here are a few of the simplest examples:
The man triumphantly told you that the recent business is good, the leader is very satisfied, then his inner needs at this time are that he needs to be recognized by you, and even need to get your praise, if you just simply say: "It's really good, then this month's bonus should be a lot", congratulations, play a good hand of cards.
The correct thing to do is: "You are too good, I know, it is gold that will shine sooner or later, and you will certainly be better than you are now." ”
When men have needs, timely insight and then give satisfaction, which is the satisfaction of the spiritual world for men, he will enjoy this state very much, and it will also make the viscosity between you higher and higher, and a man is not willing to leave a woman, the most basic is the dependence on a woman.
To put it bluntly, it is to know how to appease the depressed other party.
When the other party encounters difficulties and is very frustrated, your words will be like a spring breeze, and it will give men a feeling of "sending charcoal in the snow".
I met a visitor before, once the husband because of a mistake to get the wrong data, was scolded by the leader to cover his face, but also deducted the bonus, after returning home with his wife said, the result of the wife not only no comfort, did not help the husband out of the negative emotional trouble, but also fell into the well said: "How can you even the simplest data will be wrong, this month's bonus is gone, what else can you do?" I also want to be promoted, if I am a leader, I will not use you."
As a result, it is conceivable that the man is even more frustrated, and even quarrels with his wife and says: "Don't you know how to comfort me?" Then the wife replied, "You did something wrong, let me say something nice?"
Since this time, men will not tell their wives when they have things, and when their wives ask, he also chooses to avoid, or even simply cold violence.
I told her at the time: "It is because when you encounter problems in him, you will only blame the other party, and as a result, after the man tells you, the negative emotions are more serious, and even feel that you do not understand him at all, so I will never tell you again." ”
Of course, this is only a simple case, but it is not difficult to see that a woman can help men get out of negative emotions, which is very important for men.
Because, men hope to get the woman's tolerance and understanding when they are not in a good mood, not that he is not in a bad mood, and after telling you, you are worse than his emotions, and even blame the man. This is also why, in many relationships, men are willing to communicate with women at the beginning, but then there is no communication at all.
Just think, he said, you don't understand.
Of course, let men can't do without you, the above is just the core. It also requires some external mental skills.
1. Itch the boots
In simple terms, your legs are itchy, but scratching through your boots, will it scratch more and more itchy? But the more you itch, the more you want to scratch.
Therefore, with men, you must have the ability to control the rhythm, if you are leaving, men will be more interested in you, for example, men have proposed to miss you, want to see you, but you refuse, tell men that they have been busy lately, and so on. But the next time, you take the initiative to issue an invitation, in the date, do some intimate acts with the man, so that the man eats a sweet date after eating the closed door soup.
Here I want to emphasize a point, that is, many girls in love, will often suffer from gain and loss, but the more you suffer from gain and loss, the more you want to catch the man, this time the man feels that he is safe, and even feel that you will not leave him, there is no sense of crisis at all.
What if the other way around? Do you let the other person suffer? Will the other party keep chasing you? Because he feels that in this relationship, he has a sense of crisis, and even can't catch you, in order to hold you firmly in his hands and satisfy his desire to conquer in his bones, he can only keep chasing you.
2. High interest stops
If you hit the king, when you hit the hi skin, suddenly the phone is out of power, are you uncomfortable? Definitely.
Then in the interaction with men, you must also stop your high interest, let him have a feeling of unfinished life, and look forward to the next chance to be with you.
For example, you chat, just talk about the topic of interest to the other party, at this time you suddenly say, there are still things to be busy, or you want to sleep, etc., as long as the other party is highly interested, interrupt in time, you can.
Because after interrupting, the man must be unwilling, unfinished, feel that when he is having fun talking with you, it is suddenly over, and then he will subconsciously want to continue to talk to you.
Of course, if you want men to be inseparable from you, there are many ways, and we will talk about it in future articles.
Some people may say, why is it so troublesome to keep men inseparable from themselves? If you really love, you don't want any way and skill, I tell you a big mistake, because feelings not only need love, but also need to rely on management, then how to operate? It depends on the wisdom of women.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C