【Casual feeling】 Do not install

■ Ding Zhe

I even have a blog, and ten years ago I even wrote a blog post, a piece of paper, written in words. If it weren't for the accidental intervention today and the real-name verification, I would really suspect that all this is all fiction. But reality is there, there is reality, so I can only sigh that time has misled me.

Re-reading the blog post called "Zhi", the memory gradually looked up. It can be confirmed that this thing was written by himself. The content and title echo, that is, to break the knot and make up our minds and achieve a career. When I wrote it, I still had a sincere heart, and I thought it was passionate and uplifting. But look at it now, under the sour words, there is a bit of contrivance. Contrivance is something I hate. People are still relatively three-dimensional in their daily lives, with advantages and disadvantages coexisting, a bit of what people should have, but as soon as they stand in front of the public, the three-dimensional is scattered into points and lines, and the only few points of reality will retreat and start to install. Pretending to be kind, pretending to be righteous, pretending to be affectionate, pretending to be noble... Just to win the applause of the audience, to satisfy a desire for performance, with a little vanity attached.

How boring!

Sometimes, this kind of pretense is not realized by the person concerned. Just like when I wrote a blog post ten years ago, I thought that what I wrote was really what I was thinking in my heart, and the so-called "thoughtful" people were also. Here we can see the effect of secular enlightenment, the ideas it promotes, which unconsciously penetrate into the mind, making you mistakenly think that this external thought is the original thought. But in the end it is not the original idea, so it seems to be contrived, revealing the background of "loading".

So what is my original mind? I'm ashamed, it's so crude, it's almost thoughtless. From childhood to adulthood, from naivety to adulthood, what they do has always been passive, but driven by external forces, reading, and then working, and ambition, especially grand ambition, have nothing to do with it. But the idea of working seriously and steadily is true. And other tall things are just a kind of decoration. Therefore, the values of external importation are more on the table and better, while the actual ones are relatively humble and small, and need to be remedied. It's like being a college student, I'm studying in a general college, you're studying at Peking University and Tsinghua University, and for the sake of being equal with you, I don't have the emblem of Peking University or Tsinghua on my chest.

Of course, this is to cover your ears and deceive yourself, but at that time you can't see through it, as the philosopher said, it is the most difficult to know yourself. Now that I recognize this, I know that it is not the original intention, pretending, deceiving others, and there is no point, so I hope that what I can do in the future is: do not pretend.

"Dressing" will make herself more beautiful, just like a woman uses makeup to improve her appearance. But wipe off the fat powder, remove the clothes, what should be looked like or what it should look like, no salt can not become Xi Shi, the East Shi effect is only a farce for people to spray rice, and it cannot be done at all. It is said that women who are accustomed to makeup do not dare to go out if they do not wear makeup for a day. It can be seen that "loading" is used to it, and it can no longer adapt to the truth. Like a snail, it cannot be separated from the shell that wraps it.

I don't want that shell. Carrying a heavy load will never be enough to go into battle lightly. To live in a shell is to live in disguise, to live in an illusion, and the original intention of all this is to show people how beautiful they are. But beauty is always attached to the truth, and the beauty that is separated from the truth is only a bubble in the air, although it is colorful and brilliant under the reflection of the sun, but in the end it is to be broken and returned to nothingness. No one likes the beauty in the painting, and what people really care about is the living woman who can speak of kinetic energy, even if she is not beautiful.

People, especially ordinary people, who have no shortcomings, deficiencies, and little selfish thoughts and small calculations? None of this, all of them become sanctified Buddhas, that is the ideal country, is a myth. In the human world, there must always be fireworks, worldly qi, and only in this way is the human world. People who pretend consciously or unconsciously want to stay away from the world, but gravity determines: you can't leave the earth.

Let the people who like to dress continue to pretend. I know that no matter how hard I try, I can't do without the earth and the world, although the troubles and pain it brings me is not less.

So I don't pretend.

(Author Affilications:Finance Bureau of Qiaoxi District, Zhangjiakou City, Hebei Province)

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