When it comes to tutoring your child with homework, do you have a lot of complaints?
My girlfriend's family is only in the first grade, and my girlfriend has cried several times because of tutoring homework, complaining that since she began tutoring her child's homework, her hair has turned a lot gray.
Some parents are particularly envious of Xueba's parents, thinking that they have high education, their children's genes must be good, and tutoring homework must be comfortable.
However, after reading the experience of a group of highly educated parents tutoring homework on the Internet, we realized that children really treat their parents without discrimination in writing homework!
A father who graduated from Tsinghua was so angry that he stuttered because he tutored his children's homework
A Ph.D. mom cried in anger because her child was super slow to write homework
Ding Yanqing, an associate professor at the School of Education of Peking University, and the husband and wife are both proper high-quality students, and they are helpless in tutoring their daughter's homework.
Even star Andy Lau complained about the child's tutoring homework during online classes, which made the couple very distressed.
Tutoring homework can be described as a "stumbling block" on the road of parent-child relationship, how cute it was to look at the baby when I was a child, and how hateful it is to look at the baby now.
The girlfriend said that before the child went to school, she was a well-known "good-tempered mother" in the community, and after the child went to school, she directly became a "shrew" mother, and at night, the roar of her tutoring homework could be heard throughout the building.
Why are children usually very clever, and when they learn to write homework, they "make stupid", and they are really angry when they see their dumbfounded appearance.
In fact, the reason why parents feel powerless in tutoring their children's homework, in addition to IQ factors, most parents make these mistakes, not only can not help their children, but will lead to tutoring homework becomes more difficult!
1. The child is scared "stupid" by you
Every time you give a lecture to your child, do you find that your child looks "dumbfounded"? The eyes are straight, the brain is not turning, the response is slow, and you can't say anything when you ask?
It makes you wonder if your child's IQ is not enough.
In fact, this is really not to blame the child, because the child is scared "stupid" by you!
As soon as they see the child grinding and can't do it, the parents are angry, angry "Why are you so stupid", the fire in the brain will quickly react to the face, the eyes are wide, and the tone of the voice is unconsciously raised.
All the videos related to tutoring homework, if you look closely at the child's expression, are trembling, panicking, evasive, and very unconfident.
When parents see their children's nests, they are even more angry when they are angry. The angrier he is, the less the child will be; The less it can, the more parents break down and enter a vicious cycle.
The prefrontal part of the brain is responsible for thinking and helps children complete their homework efficiently. Angry parents make the child feel afraid and nervous, the amygdala part of the brain is activated, and the activation of the amygdala will inhibit the function of the prefrontal lobe, causing the brain to stop working and look dumbfounded.
Many parents said, "I can't control it, I really can't figure out why he can't do such a simple problem." ”
All parents who think this way actually make the mistake of the second point.
2. I haven't put myself in my shoes
"Why such a simple question, he just can't understand", "Why how to speak, he just can't understand!" ”
In the face of various mistakes made by children in their homework, the first reaction of parents is "incredible" This will not happen! ”
But, parents, have you ever wondered why such a simple question, you will see it as soon as you see it, and the child can't understand it repeatedly?
Parents, as passers-by, know more about nature than children! Especially now the parents have good education, bachelor's, master's and even doctorate, looking at the little things in elementary school is like playing.
But for children, these are things that have never been learned. In particular, children's brains are gradually developed and gradually cognitive.
You think it's simple because you've learned it, you understand everything, and the child is not, the first contact is to make him feel lost and confused.
You think that copying is a very simple thing, but for children with incomplete hand development, it is normal to copy slowly;
You can't figure out that the third-person singular in English is easy to understand, but for a child he just can't understand why he is transformed;
You despise the child for not understanding the difference between volume and area, but for children, graphic thinking has just formed, and it is normal not to understand.
Parents tutoring their children's homework is actually a dimensionality reduction blow.
Therefore, when tutoring homework, parents must avoid the psychology of "I feel..." and instead change the angle to see what this knowledge point is going on from the child's position
Learn to understand and be considerate of your child first.
3. Do not dig deep into the root of the problem
Parents who only know how to scold and reprimand in tutoring homework will only create problems, will not solve problems, and the sooner the result can be.
In the video, the father is annoyed why the child can understand 10+2=12, but does not understand how much 10+8 equals, and in his heart, the child is hopelessly stupid and angry enough to slap the table.
He didn't even think about what the child's problem was. If at this time he changes the way and demonstrates to the child with a counting stick, allowing the child to count and associate it with the real thing, the child may quickly understand.
I once saw a mother tell her child about the problem of buying oil in the supermarket and buying two get one free, the child just can't understand, in fact, the child just lacks life experience, and if he hasn't experienced it, he can't understand why this happened.
When we get angry about our children's homework, why don't we first think about what the problem is?
Did the child not understand?
Then take the child to review the knowledge learned today, clarify the knowledge points, and then write homework, find loopholes in the homework, and then explain clearly and smooth.
Is the child distracted?
Then cultivate concentration, maintain a quiet learning environment, give your child a clean desk, take away the phone, and quietly accompany your child to write homework
Is there something wrong with the way you lecture the topic
Frankly, sometimes I really don't blame children.
Some parents are indeed stupid in the topic, he will but can't understand, the child naturally can't understand. If so, turn to a lecture software or teacher, or improve yourself first.
If you want to solve the problem, you must first find out where the problem is, only anger is useless.
4. There is a problem with the counseling method
When tutoring homework, some parents talk too much.
One moment says that the child's writing is not good, and the other instigates the child to do the wrong question. If this is the case, please be a closed-mouth parent and wait quietly for the child to finish writing, and point out the problem in the steps of the inspection.
There is also a kind of parent, dry mouth, seven tips, as a result, the child is still wrong, why? Because you understand does not mean that the child understands. You got the protagonist of learning wrong.
When we encounter a child who does not understand, we must let the child talk first, listen to his understanding and thinking, find out where the problem is, and then teach the child.
Especially when talking about the topic, don't start to tell the child as soon as the child can't, coupled with angry emotions, often the effect is not good.
We must learn to use the "Feynman learning method" to encourage children to express more and explain more, in this process, children not only exercise their ability to understand, but also promote children's thinking ability, and more conducive to actively finding problems.
Tutoring homework is indeed not an easy task. But a large part of the reason why this matter is not easy is because parents get the wrong direction and always look at things from God's point of view.
For children, it is also the first time to learn knowledge, it is normal not to understand, what we have to do is to help straighten out the knowledge, the more confused, the more we need the help of parents, not accusations.
Therefore, if you want to improve the speed and efficiency of homework, the first thing to change is not the child, but the parent. When we learn to understand the child, be considerate of the child, and find the reason why the child will not grind, the efficiency of the child's homework can really improve.