Every time I do my homework, I want to have three children

Text | Thirteenth sister

It's been many days since my new semester, and I feel like I've eaten a paramecium, with a complex feeling as simple as a single cell.

This semester's class is called "Advanced Developmental Psychology", is it advanced? What is called advanced, that is, it seems that the professor has talked a lot of things, but I can't remember what I learned after class...

It's a bit like my thirteenth brother-in-law telling me math problems, focusing on a "I don't understand it anyway, and I can't let you understand it."

First of all, the good news, I have now experienced the thrill of "old fritters". In the past, with three days left before the deadline for homework, I panicked, even if I stayed up late, I had to finish it quickly. Now it's tomorrow, I haven't started writing today, and I'm at peace.

Aristotle once said that there is no hurdle that cannot be passed, and all assignments will be completed before the deadline. I didn't believe it before, but I haven't eaten pork and haven't seen pigs run, since I have seen my son winter and summer vacation for so many years is this rhythm, no matter how panicked you are, people can live the same life, what homework is not homework... Harm... That's it...

Therefore, at the end of this summer vacation, Mother Cizi Xiao, thanks to my professor, I couldn't urge my son to rush his homework, lest he ask rhetorically: Have you finished your homework?

Leave a line with each other and see each other in the future.

Besides, my feelings about homework have actually begun to get complicated.

Learn this psychology to find guilt for yourself, originally mainly to improve yourself and enrich yourself, but I didn't expect ah, this thing is difficult to learn to ride a tiger, and it is not easy to say that it is not improved if it is improved, but it gave me a lot of regret medicine.

Anyway, since I started studying psychology, I often have to reflect on past failures and ignorance, and regret those critical times I missed. Especially the "developmental psychology" that I am studying now, I think it is better to change the name of this course to "It turns out that children should be brought like this"...

Every time I went to class, I would beat my chest and pinch my thighs and sigh: If I had learned this earlier, I wouldn't have given birth and I would have become a better mother.

In order to write homework, I have to check a lot of literature, and every time I read a literature, I will think: or give birth to a third child, and start the matter of bringing a baby all over again!

Then I thought, no, I don't even have a second child.

But I subconsciously know that only the second child is not enough, the third child is the starting level, so that my three children have a clear life value: the eldest is used to create regrets, the second is used to apply formula trial and error, and the third is used to form the correct template.

Yes, at least three, one less is not enough for me.

A few years later, I can still compare the eldest and the second, and then write a masterpiece, the title of which is "One is not as good as one, and it is better to raise according to the book than to be a pig"...

My idea is probably a little pessimistic, there must be optimistic friends who can write different things, or ask optimistic friends to have three children first.

This week's assignment is "Research on Life Development Theory". Oh, just such a sentence, it feels like just drawing me a sketch of the solar system, let me talk about the plan to move to Kepler 452b. Huge and detailed, general and specific, vague and realistic... It made me want to cry and laugh.

The thirteenth brother-in-law offered to translate the literature for me, and I was still happy. I sent him the literature I was going to discuss. After 24 hours, he had translated a useless outline.

And I read the literature with my Deep L translation, and I read the entire 17 pages in two hours, which is 816 times more efficient than his.

Learning makes people have intellectual bravery, and I now not only want to have three children, but also want to find three different fathers for each of the three children, after all, the first one is already a negative textbook.

But think about it, this good villain will repair the sweeping robot, and the next one may not be as good as this. It seems that I am still too pessimistic, let the optimistic friend find another one.

Speaking of writing homework, as we all know, there are no hardships in learning, I go to class, read books, find literature, blah, have not yet started to write homework, my heart has already pulled out the cold, the more I learn, the more I want to have another one.

As we all know, Freud often talks nonsense, especially his children's sexual drive, I am not convinced, but some of his theories I agree with, such as many developmental defects in childhood will lead to such and such problems in adulthood, you say I am not anxious.

I think back to how sloppy my son grew up, and I can only describe it in one word: he really has a big life.

The point is that since my heart was dominated by these theories, my position towards my son was different.

For example, in the past, I could open my mouth to criticize him for all kinds of problems, but now I have to start a documentary-level self-reflection of about 30,000 words before I open my mouth, half of these shortcomings of this child come from inheriting his father's genes, and the other half must have my faults.

He hasn't finished his homework, maybe he didn't train his cognition of the idel and superego in early childhood?

He is not motivated enough to study, maybe he did not exercise his subjective initiative during school age?

Perhaps he dragged the mud and water, perhaps because of the critical period of physiological and cognitive development, did not make him realize the importance of efficiency?

His thoughts are hard to fathom, maybe he didn't train in childhood to develop continuity in active development?

His irregular work and rest, perhaps because he missed the sensitive period of stability and plasticity cultivation in the early school period?

He didn't listen to me, maybe the remnants of childhood aggression drove led to rebellion?

He is not anxious about homework at all, maybe he has not yet formed the correct internal cognition, which leads to negativity overcoming positivity?

I stood in front of my son, the faces of more than forty psychologists appeared in my mind, and with more than ten thousand alpacas rushing past my thyroid, I chose to turn away and silently retreat.

Thanks to the psychologist, I learned to shut up although I haven't been able to use your theories.

It would have been nice to learn behaviorist operational conditioning from Skinner earlier.

It would have been nice to have known about Erikson's approach to conflict resolution earlier.

It would have been nice to have seen Bandura's theory of reinforcement and punishment earlier.

If I had studied with Piaget earlier, what sensorimotor stage, pre-operation stage, concrete operation stage and formal operation stage were all mastered, then my son would have become a genius long ago...

Belch...... It seems that a woman should be more likely to be a mother after mastering so much psychological knowledge... In fact, after a woman has mastered so much psychological knowledge, she will feel that this mother is in vain.

Masters of psychology tell us that a person's ability to adapt to changes in the environment, especially adversity, determines a person's mental resilience.

When I thought about it, my son probably didn't have any adversity when he was a child, and it's over, this kid won't be resilient enough in the future. Knowing this, I should have exercised his resistance more at the beginning, be fierce to him, let him know the sinister of society as soon as possible, feel the beating, and the stick out of filial piety...

It's not right, but Bandura also said that resilience requires a warm family environment and care.

It's so hard, it's warm, it's hard to be warm, and it's going bad.

But think again, isn't this me, a lion roar in Hedong (creating adversity), a kiss and hugging and lifting high (family warmth), isn't this already done according to the requirements of psychologists, I estimate that even if you regenerate one two, ten eight, basically like this...

I said how these psychologists quarrel all day, everything makes sense, and it is simply neurotic to put it together.

Therefore, theory is always theory, I understand the truth, but I still can't bring a baby.

The main use of learning parenting theory well may be to show the direction to others, as for yourself, as the saying goes: there are many bad students and stationery, a theory on the left and a law on the right, is because there are too many rules and regulations to prepare, and bringing a baby may be even worse.

But it is gratifying to note that the masters also said that people develop throughout life. There is a thing called "Baltis's seven laws of life", which means that people develop throughout their lives, from embryo to death, without stopping, and each development is related to society, culture, and the environment.

This is easy to do, success boasts about yourself, failure depends on the general environment.

We can also understand it this way: even if you didn't develop very well when you were a child, you can continue to develop through various acquisitions, corrections, cognitive regressions, and whatnot.

This I like to listen to even more, and then translate it into a sentence you like to hear: your child is not a top student today, does not mean that he will not become a top student tomorrow. It is also possible that like me, I became a top student at the age of thirty or forty, anyway, I will develop for life!

But everything has a deep meaning, such as looking at the cover of our course:

You see, the cover of developmental psychology only shows the development of women, from children to teenagers to motherhood to old age...

Why are there no men? It shows that only the development of women is lifelong, and not only to develop their own life, but also to figure out how to learn psychology well so that children can develop better, and it does not matter when the development of men does not develop, and when the development ends.

Now I begin to understand the saying: a man is a teenager until he dies.