In the new semester, how to ignite the fire of children's inner efforts to learn? Parents should take a look!

The exam is over, some children have very good grades, and some children have very unsatisfactory grades. They are all the same age, why is the difference in grades so great? Are poor graders stupid?

The same long holiday, some children have completed their homework early, some children always start to be anxious until the last few days, some simply take what others have written, copy and paste, and do homework is just a task that he has to complete, doesn't he understand the purpose of the teacher's homework?

The same is to do one thing, some children quickly complete and then do other things, some children just like to grind foreign workers, procrastinate, not serious, a lot of excuses, play tricks on the kung fu, he does not want to do it?

The answer is no!

There are no stupid children, every child is very smart. The reason why children are so different is mainly because of the different sense of responsibility of children.

Some children realize that learning things is an obligation of their own, and they have the responsibility to do their best to complete this. Some students, on the other hand, do not have this sense of responsibility, just study casually, learn when they are happy, and do not learn when they are not happy. Other things, too, are the fundamental reasons why children with the same qualifications have such a big difference in grades.

01

Writing homework: If parents don't let go, children don't do it

Children's homework grinding, procrastination, lack of seriousness, or failure to complete homework are often related to the following behaviors of many parents:

Pay too much attention to your child's learning outcomes

Worry about your child's future development

Too much involvement in the child's responsibility (for example, the parent asks the child to start doing homework over and over again, then sits next to the child to supervise, and finally helps the child check the homework one by one, asking the child to correct each problem)

As a result, every assignment you turn in gets a perfect or high score, but can you say it's your child's homework? When you take the child's responsibility into your own responsibility, the child thinks that learning is for the parents, learning is not my responsibility, and the state shown is procrastinating, absent-minded, and not wanting to complete the homework.

Poor writing, wrong grammar, wrong spelling, sometimes forgetting to do homework, or homework left at home, sometimes taking a bad test to go home, this is a normal thing, is an inevitable experience in the process of children's growth.

If parents are therefore angry, complaining, urging and scolding, not only will the child's energy be consumed in dealing with the negative emotions caused by these, but also will deepen the child's boredom and fear of learning, hinder the development of the child's sense of responsibility and initiative for learning, and the consequences are much more serious than the child's initial "problem".

02

Letting go is not letting go, these steps should be taken well

Communicating with children – why learn?

We can't change the behavior of others, but we can use our opinions and behaviors to influence others, and perhaps change the behavior of others.

When we ask our children to do something, it is very important to tell the child in advance the importance of doing this in a way that the child can accept, that is, to tell the child the truth of our behavior and work in a silent "traceless" education method, which will help to cooperate with the child.

First of all, communicate with children about "why you want to learn and what is the purpose of learning?"

I think one's learning should not be limited to textbooks, life is the best school. We all have this experience:

- Go climbing, if you are interested in natural science, then you must feel about nature more deeply than others;

- Go to the Ocean Park, if you know the habits of marine animals well, you must be more interested than others;

- Go to the history museum, if you lack knowledge of this history, see those artifacts do not arouse great interest, just for children;

- Go on a tour to see the ancient buildings, if you don't have the background knowledge to build this building, then this building can only be a souvenir of your visit.

If you think the world is fascinating, your child will have the same understanding, because passion is contagious.

Parents should help their children develop the idea that you are not an exam machine, and you are not studying for Mom and Dad.

You learn to explore this wonderful world so that your life is more colorful; you learn to grow wisdom, to explore your unique personality, to make your life more meaningful and happy; you are learning to make your life more meaningful and happy; you are learning to make the most of your strengths and talents to help others.

Tell your child in the chat that the process of learning is a process of continuous self-exploration, you will gradually understand what you like, what you are good at, what you don't like, what you are not good at; you will learn some knowledge and skills, so that you have more choices in the future and do what you are interested in.

When a parent was discussing with his son, the son asked, "What if I am interested in driving a truck to collect garbage?" He told his son that if you go to college and feel that driving a truck to collect garbage is indeed your interest and can play your talents, then I hope that you can be a person with a heart in the process of collecting garbage, and study how to improve the existing system and be more conducive to environmental protection, then you will become the best garbage collector in the world!

Everyone can find their talents through hard work, and use this talent to serve others and society. Doing this work in this way will make you happy and feel meaningful.

On the other hand, if your talent is not in the garbage collection, you will feel that the garbage collection work is boring, and it will not bring you happiness. The various abilities and skills cultivated in the process of learning in school will give you more opportunities to choose your own industry.

For children, you only need to make 3 requests:

1. Be sure to work hard and sum up the experience, but don't care too much about the test results.

2. In today's age when knowledge is updated so quickly, how you learn is more important than what you learn from books. I hope you can learn various skills, such as time management skills, learning methods that suit you, the ability to analyze and solve problems, the ability to think independently, the ability to find resources and self-study, and so on.

3. I hope you have curiosity about the world, want to explore the unknown of the world, have a strong desire for knowledge, and have a lifelong spirit of learning. I hope you can find one or two subjects in school that you are interested in, and I hope you can drill into them and even use your spare time to read more about it online.

I hope you ask the teacher a question, and the teacher doesn't necessarily answer it right away, but says", "Well, good question!" I'll have to think about it and then answer you."

Learning is not equal to book knowledge, and it is not equal to academic performance. Book knowledge is only one part of learning, and life is the best and largest campus.

Set boundaries and gradually let go of the responsibility of letting your child take responsibility

Tell your child explicitly that learning is your responsibility, not your parent's; you learn for yourself, not for your parents.

Set boundaries: For example, when to complete the winter vacation homework, you must complete it yourself, what the effect of the completion should look like, and who can you ask for help if you have difficulties in the completion process.

Gradually let the child take responsibility: including the consequences that need to be borne after the completion of the homework starts, the criticism that needs to be endured for the high rate of homework errors, etc., parents can also make other agreements with their children.

After the rules are formulated, parents only need to remind Yan Yuexi occasionally: Has the homework been done? Tell your child that if he needs help in any discipline, tell me and we'll find a solution together.

As long as he knows how to schedule time, knows priorities, doesn't get too involved, just sometimes praises his time management for doing a good job.

Check with your child how well he is performing his responsibilities

After the academic performance comes, analyze it together, ask him where the problem is, how to improve it, know that he will make a summary himself, and have the heart to change.

Do not check the child's grades too often, parents are prone to pay too much attention to each of the child's mistakes, and then can't help but want to "correct" every mistake of the child, thus causing conflicts between parents and children.

We should give children some room for growth, and parents should grasp the general direction and see farther.

Returning the child's responsibility to the child and allowing the child to make some mistakes cultivates the child's sense of responsibility and mobilizes the child's initiative. In this way, the child grows up, understands things, and we also end up relaxed, why not enjoy it?

If the child can think, summarize, improve and grow through the experience of failure in the process of growing up in primary and junior high schools, then this experience will be of great help to his future life, and it is far more important than the child's excellent results under the support and supervision of parents.

Do housework, parents do not do it

Every child has an innate positive need, often because in the process of growing up, the outside voice (such as the parent's nagging, supervision, supervision) is too large, interfering with the child's listening to the inner voice, destroying the child's positive nature.

Junior high school students can be responsible for washing their own clothes. Sometimes when he forgets to wash, let him take out the dirty clothes and wear them again, and the parents should realize that this is not the parent's business.

Even if you see your child wearing a variety of dirty clothes, parents should bite their lips and teach less lessons. Let children gradually realize that washing clothes is their responsibility.

Junior high school students are gradually beginning to pay attention to appearance, some of the habits we want our children to change and can not change, perhaps when the two are happy, children have the motivation to change.

What age and what to do, this is the natural law of human development. We should abide by this rule and conform to the laws of nature in order to achieve "doing nothing and doing nothing".

03

Cultivating children's sense of responsibility should pay attention to three points

Stand in the same trench as your child

When a child experiences natural results and realizes that his original choice was unwise, our attitude should not be schadenfreude and count the children down the well, "You see, I told you, you didn't listen, now you know it's wrong?" Rather, it should be an encouraging attitude of "Child, it doesn't matter." Mom (Dad) also did a lot of wrong things when she was a child, eating a lot of food and growing a wisdom, and this is how children grow up."

Stimulate your child's internal motivation

I firmly believe that every child is born with a positive seed, as long as parents have high-quality companionship, love, appreciation, listening and encouragement for their children, it will create conditions for the growth of this seed, and the child's internal motivation will be stimulated. Of course, give your child the time they need to progress.

Accept your child's imperfections

In the short term, the child's performance under the constant supervision of the parents may be better than the performance of the child after the parents let go, which is why many parents dare not let go.

But the child's performance under parental supervision comes from outside control, not from internal forces. In the long run, the inner strength will be stronger and more durable, after all, we can only accompany the child for a while, the rest of the road needs the child to have the internal motivation to go on, so we must accept the "imperfection" shown by the child in the growth.

As long as we change our attitudes and ways, many of our children's "problems" will improve. It is often heard that some parents complain that children who have gone to high school are not very responsible for their own affairs, which may be that the parents are too much in the family when they are young, or that the parents have too high expectations of their children in terms of "responsibility".

(This article is transferred from simple good parents, the copyright belongs to the original author, if there is infringement, please contact us to delete)