Brother college entrance examination 703 points, younger brother 730 points: children with goals and no goals, how big is the gap?

Goals determine a child's future, and children without goals are doomed to do nothing for life.

As parents, we must help children find goals from an early age and guide children to work hard for their own goals.

Author | summer

This twin brother is really amazing.

They are from Dehong, Yunnan, and their brother Du Yilang scored 703 points in the college entrance examination and his younger brother Du Youlang scored 730 points in the college entrance examination, and the two were locked in by Tsinghua University together.

One and two masters are really envious of countless parents.

Many netizens couldn't help but sigh:

"Is this Wenqu Xingxia?"

"Raise a pair of sons like this, you can wake up laughing in your dreams."

In fact, no matter what kind of genius is born, every excellent child is a cause and effect that can be followed.

In the face of media interviews, the twin father's words exposed the truth of the two brothers' high scores.

It turned out that in 2013, the twin father took the two brothers to Beijing for a tour.

After visiting Tsinghua University, the two brothers decided to be admitted to Tsinghua University.

My father thought that the two brothers were just talking casually, but he never thought that in the next 10 years, from the third grade of elementary school to the third year of high school, they would continue to work tirelessly towards this goal, until today.

This reminds me of a quote from James Allen:

"Dreaming of this motivation is the seedling of reality, the greatest achievement.

The firmness of the goal is the root of all efforts, and it can root the belief in hard work in every corner of the child's body, prompting him to persevere and keep moving forward. ”

In other words:

Goals are a key factor in a child's success.

Children who have goals from an early age are more likely to succeed.

Children with and without goals from an early age

How big is the gap?

Li Xiaolai once said in "The Road to Wealth and Freedom":

"Most people in this world jump into three big holes:

Inexplicably making fun, anxious to follow the crowd, and breaking hearts for others. ”

And the most important reason why they are like this is:

There is no clear goal of its own.

Cousin is like that.

From childhood to adulthood, my cousin was a person who went with the flow.

Seeing that the classmates around him all went to apply for cram school, he also followed the report, signed up but did not study seriously.

When he Chinese science in high school, he saw that his good friends chose science, and he obviously had poor grades in science, but he also chose science.

As a result, he mixed up his entire high school and was admitted to only a local junior college.

After graduating from college, he still had no plan for his life.

Seeing that others were making money by selling barbecue at street stalls, he also went to street stalls to sell barbecue.

When he saw others driving big cars to make money, he also drove big cars.

Seeing that others opened supermarkets to make money, he also went to open supermarkets.

For several years, he not only failed to complete the same business, but also owed a lot of debts.

His uncle and aunt couldn't stand it, so they paid someone to help him find a job as a quality inspector at a local meat factory.

As a result, he has been a monk for a day, and he has to get by.

Through my cousin's idle life, I truly understood a quote from the ancient Greek tragedian Peters:

"You have to have a purpose in life, otherwise your energy is wasted."

Children who have no purpose in their hearts have no direction under their feet.

Life without direction is like a headless fly flying around, wasting one's time, energy and life, and ultimately achieving nothing.

Conversely, those children who have a goal will be like a sharp arrow aimed at the bullseye, moving forward and hitting with one hit.

The mother of Tang Chuyue, a science champion in Wuhan in 2020, once recorded her daughter's bold words 11 years ago in her diary:

The highest score in the college entrance examination is 720 points, and the minimum score will not be lower than 590 points.

For this ambition, she set clear learning goals and study plans for herself and did her best to complete them.

In the end, she embraced Peking University with a score of 725 and realized her childhood dream.

Remember the American writer Henry David Thoreau once said:

"If a person moves forward courageously and confidently in the direction of his dreams, in order to achieve his ideals, and tries his best to give everything he can to provide him, then the career will also be successful."

The road to success is paved with goals.

It is the driving force that motivates children's unremitting pursuit, the fulcrum that drives children's dreams, and the beginning of children's life.

Only by guiding children to determine their life goals early can children have the spirit of striving and perseverance towards success.

Want children to be great

Be sure to cultivate a sense of purpose in your child from an early age

Carnegie once conducted a survey of life purpose and found:

Only 3% of the world's population has exact goals and knows how to implement them.

The other 97 percent either had no goals at all, didn't have clear goals, or didn't know how to achieve them.

Ten years later, he did another survey of these people and found:

It turns out that the 3% of people with goals have achieved considerable success in their respective fields.

And those 97% of people, except for their age of ten years, have hardly improved much in work, life, and personal achievements.

Therefore, if you want to raise an excellent child, parents must help their children learn how to determine goals and how to achieve them.

1. Help your child set a clear and strong long-term goal

Psychologist Cooper Smith once conducted a famous "dream and result" psychological experiment.

The experimenters set two goals, near and far, and asked the children to shoot basketballs and imagine their scores in advance.

The result surprised everyone:

Children who initially chose distant targets all scored high at the end.

And most of the children who chose nearby targets did not meet the target.

It reminds me of my best friend's two sons.

The eldest son has liked aerospace since he was a child and is determined to be admitted to Beihang University.

For this dream, the little one has been insisting on swimming, basketball, running and many sports.

He is self-disciplined and hard-working, and his grades have always remained in the top 10 of his grade.

The second son has never had any goals and wants to give up his efforts whenever he encounters failure or resistance.

As a result, his learning status has been up and down, and his grades have been up and down.

Writer Charles said:

"If you have a long-term goal, you won't be frustrated by temporary setbacks."

Strong and clear long-term goals can make children have lasting motivation, stronger self-discipline, more courageous resistance quotient, help children run hard and create their own wonderful life.

Children who do not have goals are prone to slack off or lose motivation due to immediate setbacks and failures.

Therefore, we must help children establish a strong and clear long-term goal, so that children clearly know what kind of person they want to be and what kind of life they want to have.

2. Don't limit your child's goal to learning

If we look closely, we will find that there are many such children around us:

Some of them are not interested in learning and only want to play every day.

Some just want to get a good score and a good school, but in addition, there are not many hobbies, and the desire for knowledge is not strong.

There are also some children with high grades, but they are forced to study since childhood, bear excessive study pressure, feel depressed from time to time, and even have a tendency to depression.

After the college entrance examination, these children can easily fall into the vortex of "hollow heart disease" and become a three-nil person:

No interest, no goal, no drive.

Psychologist William Diamond said in "A Sense of Purpose": "A child's goal should not be limited to a square inch.

Passing exams and being admitted to prestigious schools, these short-term goals are a means to achieve more important goals, not "ultimate concerns", not real goals.

There are three main elements to a real goal:

First: Be meaningful to yourself.

Second: it is valuable to society.

Third: intentions can be generalized.

Therefore, do not let children's goals be limited to learning, help children find their own interests and talents, and guide children to find the meaning of their own learning and efforts, is the key to children's success.

Wan Haiyan, an 11-year-old girl who became famous in the Alipay ATEC Mini Program Challenge with excellent programming skills, said:

I want to learn AI in the future and develop software that makes it easy for people.

Ni Haoyang, a 12-year-old boy from Fuzhou, shared a video of himself playing bugs online and gained 700,000 followers.

He doesn't like to play games, doesn't care about the data and comments of his short videos, and only wants to learn more about insects, spread more natural science knowledge to everyone, and hopes that he can discover a new insect category and name it after himself.

In order to achieve this goal, he not only pestered his parents to take him to the wild to find insects whenever he had time, but also took the initiative to learn more about natural science, and transferred this spirit of inquiry to his other learning.

Have you seen such a psychological principle:

What motivates us to do one thing repeatedly?

There are two factors: familiarity and accomplishment.

Interest is the source of children's motivation and the premise of children's sense of purpose.

Only by helping children discover themselves and know themselves can we let children figure out their goals in life and find the long-term meaning of their efforts.

Every child who succeeds in fulfilling their dreams

Behind them stand excellent and fierce parents

There was a viral video on the Internet:

A three-year-old girl howls while returning the ball with precision.

Netizens have said:

"It's really distressing and inspiring."

Ai Fukuhara couldn't help but shout under the video:

"I know your heart, maybe I'm the only person in the world who understands your heart, let's sit and have a good chat."

Speaking to the media, the little girl's father explained:

"Learning table tennis is the child's own will, but the child is a child after all, tired, tired, criticized... I think that as a parent, you should guide your child and accompany your child to persevere. ”

Truly.

After all, children are just children, and it is inevitable that there will be times when willpower is weak and self-control is poor.

If we want to help children achieve their dreams, we must let them learn to persevere.

Liu Guoliang's daughter Liu Yujie has been playing since she was three years old, and her mother insisted on training and playing with her every day, and has never stopped for five years.

At the age of 8, she won the championship and became a golf champion.

Dancer Huang Doudou also appeared in the show, especially thanking the story of being encouraged to practice dance by his parents in childhood.

When he was seven or eight years old, his mother would press him on the bedside table every morning to press his legs.

Whenever he cried because of the pain, his father would encourage him.

His body proportions did not meet the standards of a dancer, and his parents were not discouraged, let alone give up, but let him hang upside down on the beam of his home every day with a custom-made iron ring.

After 2 years of persistence, his lower body exceeded the synchronous growth of the upper body by 12CM, and finally reached the standard of a dancer.

It turns out:

Without the ruthlessness and persistence of parents, there would be no glorious journey for children to realize their dreams.

Behind every child who fulfills his dreams, there are excellent and fierce parents.

I remember that Bian Yufang, a professor at the State Key Laboratory of Cognitive Neuroscience and Learning at Beijing Normal University, also said:

"When parents show interest in what their children are learning and give companionship, children will be more persistent in the face of learning difficulties."

Children are not born to persist.

The persistence of all children comes from the persistence of their parents.

If parents are not lazy, children will not be willful.

Parents don't give up, and children don't give up halfway.

As one education expert put it:

"Children will be willful, but adults cannot give up the responsibility of supervision."

How much parents give, can leave a trace on the child's growth path.

The harder parents work, the better their children become.

There is a saying in the Talmud that is particularly poignant:

"A hundred% sharpshooter, if he shoots aimlessly, he can't shoot a hare."

Similarly, children who have no goals cannot achieve dazzling results in a busy life.

Only by cultivating children's sense of purpose from an early age and accompanying children to learn to persevere can children have the opportunity to reach the pinnacle of life.

This is the greatest success of parents and the best life gift parents can give their children.