【Beauty play story】, light up the future of children with dreams!
Hello everyone, I'm Maco.
Recently watched the TV series "Female Psychologist" starring Yang Zi, the story about some adolescent psychological problems in the play, which attracted Maco's attention and thinking.
The first story is about a student who is about to take an art exam, Yuna, who has outstanding academic performance and is a "well-behaved girl" in the eyes of parents and teachers.
But she has recently begun to do some "rebellious" moves: deliberately running to a convenience store to steal potato chips; falling off the stage herself, but framing her classmates for pushing her down; and even self-harm.
In the face of the child's sudden "rebellion", her parents were somewhat caught off guard, and they did not know what caused such a big change in their daughter.
As the plot develops, we learn that Yuna's "rebellion" is actually caused by her parents, and the seemingly complete family is full of parental quarrels.
The couple secretly divorced their daughter and planned to wait until Yuna's college entrance examination was over to tell her the truth, but all this had long been detected by Yuna, her "rebellion" and self-harm, just so that her parents could not be separated.
The child is very sensitive to family relations, and when he realizes that the parental relationship is tense, he will do something "rebellious" to divert the focus of the parent's attention and try to "save" the parent's marriage.
Some time ago, a 17-year-old teenager in Yichuan County, Luoyang City, Henan Province, forced his parents to divorce with death, and finally under the mediation of the village party secretary, the contradictions between the parents were resolved and promised not to quarrel again.
In the eyes of many adults, children's practices are ignorant and do not cherish their own lives. But for the child, he just wants a complete home, nothing more.
However, there is no need to say that the fact of divorce is deliberately concealed for the sake of the children. Professor Li Meijin once said:
What affects children is never divorce, but how adults do after separation.
Divorce isn't that scary, it's just that adults make it scary.
Today's children are very smart, even if you don't say it, they can feel it. Let the child grow up in a family where the parents quarrel or the cold war for many years, it is better to take the initiative to confess to the child.
If the child is involved in the marriage struggle for a long time and becomes a tool to maintain the stability of the parent's marriage, or if one parent takes revenge on one party, the child's personality will be mixed with many things far beyond his age, and such a "sensible" child will be at the expense of damaging the child's personality and self.
For parents, if there is a problem in the marriage, the best thing they can do is to do their best to let their children continue to be a child, and not to let the child bear the consequences of the disintegration of the marriage and the breakdown of the relationship.
What children need more than a complete home is the complete love of their parents.
I once watched a documentary Shanghai dad Nicko after the divorce, living alone with his daughter Angel, in order to make up for her daughter, he also spent a lot of effort.
After the divorce, he did not completely break off contact with his ex-wife, and every time he encountered a problem with his daughter's studies, he would ask his ex-wife to discuss it with him.
The picture of the two talking is very harmonious, although the feelings between the husband and wife are gone, but their love for their daughter has not diminished.
Although Angel did not live with her mother, she never lacked the company of her parents on the road to growing up. She is still as lively and cheerful as a child of a normal family.
We cannot force that every child in this world has a complete family and loving parents, because it is impossible.
I only hope that in the unhappy marriage of the parents, in the pain of the disintegration of the marriage, the child can be in a protected environment, not involved in the war of adults, continue to grow up healthily, and continue to love his parents freely.